The Other Professions of Nursing

[elizabeth8503RN, MSN, EMT-B, NP]

When you became a nurse they never told you that you would also have to be sooo many other things like.......

- Housekeeper: must be able to pick up after any and all messes

- Bodybuilder: must be able to pick up 400 lbs of dead weight all by yourself

- Counselor: must be able to handle the stickiest of situations between patients, families and coworkers and any combination thereof

- Plumber: must be able to handle the most intricate of plumbing issues on a moment's notice

- Electrician: must be able to manage any and all wires, cords, and any combination of medical and computer equipment

- Hazmat disposal specialist: must be able to properly dispose any and all of the facility's most interesting and odorous waste

- Computer engineer: must be able to handle any computer issue know to man, including: ERROR 323: SYSTEM FAILURE

- Security: must be able to handle 325lbs of cocaine crazed psycho coming after you with a knife on top of screaming crowds.

- Contortionist: must be able to bend and flex in the most awkward of ways to get to the most important sterile gloves in the back of the supply closet

(feel free to add on....)

[Hygiene Queen]

Waitress: you must serve patients meals with a smile and with flair... you must make green jello and broth seem exciting!! And you must clean up the tray that the kitchen staff sloppily put together and dumped the juice on so that it appears somewhat appetizing when YOU have to give it to the patient.

Scapegoat: you are the ASS that serves nasty green jello and broth on a hopelessly messy tray....

[mariahas4kids]

Mindreader or Cryptographer: to decipher or figure out what the doctor really meant when he wrote those orders.

[whichone'spink, BSN, RN]

Proofreader, because MDs and the pharmacies can mess up their orders.

[annacnatorn]

an Engineer!.............Need I say more?

[Zee_RN, BSN, RN]

Mover: because you have to transfer the patient in the semiprivate room, and all his furniture and medical equipment, to another room because the lab test just came back +MRSA. Or because he wants a better view. Or because he's transferred to a lower level of care. Many moves...

PR Specialist: I don't think I need to explain this one.

Liar: "Is there anything more I can do for you? (here it comes....) I have the time!"

[wound warrier]

Actor - we have scripted things to say to the patient to help boost satisfaction, as in "I have the time."

[Zee_RN, BSN, RN]

Yeah we have that script too. I WILL always ask the patient the first part "Is there anything else I can do for you right now?" with a easy and relaxed attitude. I will NOT outright lie to the patient and say "I have the time..." I anticipate caring for 14 patients tonight on a med/surg/tele/ped unit with the assistance of an LPN. I will NOT have the time for much!