We all know the PIA homless ETOHer and or drug abuser. We also know the guy who really is apreciative of the clean bed, shower and food.who comes into the hosp when homeless.
Yesterday I helped cook and serve food for a homeless shelter. Everyone was nice, generally very clean (one guy smelled). They were articulate, sober, and appreciative.
A disproportionate number were 5 to 600 lbs or more. Kind of ironic that I was feeding them. chuckle. a few looked like the typical homeless. Many you would never in a million years guess were homeless.
As expected there were one or 2 families, a few women but the majority were male. Not only were they male but many looked and acted very able. What happens? Why is this the case?
My son would have ended up homeless had I not been able to take him in after he got out of the hospital after his MVA last Jan. He was bed ridden with no insurance (long story but it does happen to good people). He had NO WHERE to go, they were going to take him to his house and dump him there, he would have died with no one to care for him. He could not work (still is not working), so he could not make his house payments. The bank would have kicked him out within a few months. He could not walk until July and that was just with a walker.
The MVA was NOT his fault. He was just driving home and got hit by a drunk driver with no insurance. His insurance was NOT enough.
Did anyone watch Oprah the other day? They discussed a recent documentary that was made for Showtime. It is about a homeless man and what he would do if he was given $100,000, CASH! This man was not mentally ill, nor a drug abuser (he had to pass tests given by Medical Professionals). He was offered financial counseling, mental health counseling and ample job offers. He refused everything but the money. He blew through the cash in a year. He didn't take advantage of any of anything offered to him....not even a job (because he has problems with 'authority figures'). He just took the cash.
The people that made the documentary admitted that they were a bit shocked and disappointed in the outcome. The were positive that a person on the streets, given all of the right opportunities, plus a lot of money and emotional support, would choose to change their lives for the better. They were wrong.
on.
I was told that the clinics were forced to stop prescribing these meds because the clinics were absolutely flooded with men wanting them. These men took up thousands of appointments....only to ask for ED drugs....nothing else.
Same with Narcotics/Opioids. The Pharmacies at the clinics don't even carry them anymore. There is a BIG sign on the entrance door stating this, too. Obviously, the clinic will see a person having pain issues, but the patient will be given a referral to a Pain Management MD so they can receive the appropriate pain control and prescriptions for pain medication.
Ilovemycat, I did not see Oprah. I have a hard time understanding why there would be surprise over this.
We know that people who are financially rescued or given the gift of bankruptcy protection that they will repeat the behavior that got them there.
That is the reason for the change in bankruptcy laws. You can no longer get bankruptcy protection for unsecured consumer debt.
It is a childish mentality that rebels against "authority figures," etc. It is a childish mentality that can not delay or forgo a purchase or expenditure that is non essential. They "don't want to be told what to do." Consequently they interpret any wisdom or advise that is contrary to receiving instantly what they want as an authority telling them what to do. So like the 2 year old they won't listen.
Nope these are free spirits. No one is going to tell them that maybe they need to get a roof over their head, get a job to keep the roof, to pay for what they receive etc. To you and I it is common sense. To two year old it is you telling me what to do.
I have had the mis fortune to be laughed at and seen others laughed at for being "suckers" As too often these people feel we deserve to be taken advantage of.
These people are not stupid nor always as naive as we give them credit.
The assumption of the documentary makers was that everyone thinks the same. These folks think very differently. The mentality is that of a spoiled child.
Viagra is a very valuable commodity on the street. It is sold and makes some people a very nice income. (Personal, knowledge of family member who does just this) That is the real reason that they want this drug. Most will not actually use the drug themselves, it is just something they can sell easily.
First thing I want to say is who are we to pass judgement on anyone based on gender, age, race, sexual orientation, or economical status.
Yes, there are some who choose to be homeless because of circumstances beyond most of our understandings. These are very few in the homeless population. And then there are the others that are homeless due to circumstances that may have been beyond their control, or by poor choices they made. But come on!!! Haven't we all made atleast one poor choice in our lives. To stand on your soapbox and preach about how wrong, unnecessary or disgusting it is for some of these people to be homeless is very immature and self righteous.
Until you have walked a mile in their shoes, you have no right to pass any kind of judgement on their lives. You are nurses.......what happened to compassion???
There are far too many selfish, self centered people in the word today. It seems to have become all about me, me, me!
I am now 39 years old, but when I was 18 years old I was homeless in Denver, CO for 3 months. My home was my 1978 Ford Pinto. I was raised in a single parent home. We grew up on welfare and housing in Nebraska. It was not much fun being teased in school because of my Goodwill clothes. I felt like I didn't have anyone that really cared about me, so I followed the first guy to show any kind of feelings for me to Denver, CO. That is where he left me one day in a park. All I had was my clothes, my car and about $5. I survived by washing up in gas station bathrooms and stealing the food and supplies I needed from local grocery stores. I slept in my car in the mountains. It was a very lonely existence. It wasn't until some kind old man reached out to me and gave me the money to drive my car back to Nebraska. I am now an RN and have been for the last 5 years. I make great money and have a great life now. If not for that kind old man, I'm not sure where I would be today. I offer help and kindness to those I see in need. I don't know how they got there, but it is not up to me to judge them. I just help them any way I can and hope that it makes a difference.
The moral of the story is, we all make poor choices and need some help and guidance from time to time. Those of us that have that help can over come. Those who are cast aside may never be able to pull themselves out of the hole they are in.
Some people are fortunate enough to have a great support system when things go wrong in their lives, and then there are those who have no one. They very well could be the ones who are homeless and need guidance to move in the right direction. But instead what they get are ignored, looks of disgust, criticism and sometimes beaten up because of their unfortunate situation. Where is the love in this world for humankind.
Think twice.....it's just another day in paradise for you and me!!! (Phil Collins song.....give it a listen!!!)
It is just precisely because of stories like yours that I am torn. You make very valid points. It is because of people like you I and everyone else wants to help.
Yet, sadly I do not believe that you represent the majority. I may be wrong. Right or wrong it is the sting we have felt or seen others experience from a different kind of homeless person than you were. We are human too, and we work hard for what we have. We generally are very willing to share when we believe we will at least not be used, and disrespected.
I don't expect undying (nor want) gratitude for what I may do. I am just too aware that the pitiful are often not pitiful at all and sometimes are better off than I am myself. Did I tell you about the "homeless" guy who would set up a sign infront of our local grocery store. He looked horrible. Dirty, old torn clothes etc. He panhandled there every day. Then he would go over to a car I could only dream of affording (sorry forgot the make, it was current year) he would take off the tattered clothes changeing into something nice. get in the car and drive off.
Seen it with my own eyes. He had looked convincing enough to draw even my sympathy.
There are just more resources out there for homeless women- especially those with children. I think that women who have children are more likely to seek assistance as well.
This is true there are more resources for women and children
I get angry when a doc refused adequate pain relief for an addict. We have doc who do this because they are an addict. I have even heard an occasional doc voice the opinion that they should be made to suffer for being an addict.
We all learned in school that if you are opioid tolerant the doses that relieve pain for the average person will not come close to doing anything for these people in pain.
Their need for additional narcs is genuine.
To me it is unethical to "punish" them by withholding adequate pain relief when it is available no matter who or what the person is or their character
It is also un ethical in my book to force someone to detox without their consent.
I see drunks dragged in because either the police do not like that they are drunks, or the family does not like it, or some relieve agency does not like it. They force them though detox knowing full well that this person is heading for the first source of alcohol/drugs they can find when they get out.
We have all cared for the ETOHer who says "the first thing I am going to do is get a drink." Detox is not pleasant. Forcing it on someone who did not choose it is just plain wrong.
On the other hand I have see emergent rescue of people that would have died without medical intervention and an attempt of at least partial detox. These are the exception. Also an exception is when someone wants it at least on some level.
I am not saying I approve of drug or alcohol abuse. I am saying it is wrong of the medical profession to knowingly and deliberately force something that creates suffering without bringing about something good for that person.
Heck I am not even standing up for someone's "right" to abuse these substances. We can and should be providing the same level of comfort in caring for these people as we do anyone else.
It's unfortunate what happened to your son and I do remeber his was hot by an uninsured driver, but that is your responsibility to take in your family and care for them if they cannot care for themselves. If my one of my family members needed help or a place to live I would not hesitate to let them live with me or take care fo them it is the family's responsibility not society.
My son would have ended up homeless had I not been able to take him in after he got out of the hospital after his MVA last Jan. He was bed ridden with no insurance (long story but it does happen to good people). He had NO WHERE to go, they were going to take him to his house and dump him there, he would have died with no one to care for him. He could not work (still is not working), so he could not make his house payments. The bank would have kicked him out within a few months. He could not walk until July and that was just with a walker.
The MVA was NOT his fault. He was just driving home and got hit by a drunk driver with no insurance. His insurance was NOT enough.
I suspect women are better at maintaining a network of personal ties that can be helpful in hard times.
A woman would have to be totally estranged from all family and friends if everyone refused to let her sleep on their sofa until she could get back on her feet.
It's unfortunate what happened to your son and I do remeber his was hot by an uninsured driver, but that is your responsibility to take in your family and care for them if they cannot care for themselves. If my one of my family members needed help or a place to live I would not hesitate to let them live with me or take care fo them it is the family's responsibility not society.
I never said I didn't want to take him into my home. I would die for my son. I would give my last penny to him if he needed it. That was NOT my point.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
...but that is your responsibility to take in your family and care for them if they cannot care for themselves. .. .
What happens in the situations where this is not possible? I think that's a very judgemental attitude-very self -righteous...That's why we have these systems in place.Obviously there are flaws.
My skin just crawls when I hear a co-worker say " I'll never put my loved one in a home" We can't know all of the family dynamics but I am reasonably sure that many families struggle mightily with the decison. They feel guilty enough without anyone adding to their burden .You think it's easy for the mother of a 28 year old PVS to admit she can't care for her child? Or the daughter of an 88 yr old ambulatory Alzheimer's patient-is it easy to to have to resort to lies and tricks to even get their loved one to walk into the LTC?
And what about the loved ones that refuse assistance? Like this fellow that lived in his car before he went to the er and got dumped on the sidewalk.Is it right to force him into the system? He consistently refused housing prior to this incident.Who are we to judge another's living arrangement? He is alert and was apparently almost self sufficient.You may not want to live in a car but it was his choice.
When I'm old and de-crepit and my house is dirty and I take a bird bath in the powder room because I can't manage the steps to the second floor don't you DARE take me out of here.I don't care if I have to crawl into the kitchen for a bowl of cereal.I will nail my doors and windows shut and die in here someday.That is MY choice and I hope I can keep all of the neighborhood do-gooders out of my business....
Specializes in Psych/Rehab/Family practice/Oncology.
Well, I'll jump in here too. The majority of homeless that I've seen in my career are in fact homeless because of poor choices. Yes, we all have occasionally made the poor choice or two, but I'm talking poor choice after poor choice, time and time again. I have actually had more than a few patients who remain without shelter because they don't want to follow the rules of the shelters. "They make me look for work, and I can't work." "They always want to make me go to A.A., and I've been through that enough, it doesn't work for me." They won't let me smoke, unless I stand outside in the cold." Their excuses are endless! I have little empathy.
To NurseAboveBoard:
I'm not saying that there aren't some homeless people who have just given up and are trying to play the system and get what they can. I can totally understand what you are saying. I just don't want us to catagorize ALL homeless the same. There are those that really need help. Sometimes we need to drop our predjudices and help those that we can. Please lets not try to lump them all in one catagory or let the ones that abuse the system take from those that really need help. That's all I'm saying.
Oh absolutely, I totally agree. I don't lump them all together, but it's just been my experience and/or luck (ha-ha) to have dealt with the ones who are homeless due to a lifetime of poor choices. I do not have the energy for these people any more. I would rather give my time and energy to those who really are trying to get themselves together. That's all I'm saying.
suzi-Q
115 Posts
There, BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, goes me...I'm certain!
Just sharing my point of view, nothing more...
Peace & Love