The Gypsy Rose Blanchard Story

guest940422 · May 3, 2019

On 4/29/2019 at 11:50 AM, jnemartin said:
I have a family that has raised my red flag for a while, and it was actually watching this show on HULU that helped me put the pieces together that the parents' "strange/overbearing behavior" may be abuse.

It doesn't matter if you have the pieces together. It doesn't matter if you can prove it. All that matters is the red flag. As mandatory reporters we are expected to report to social services (not to our supervisor, or the facility social worker, or to the doctor) any suspected abuse.

We aren't trained criminal investigators, no one expects us to have solid evidence. We are trained professional healthcare providers. We are often the only people given access to these kids. And we can see discrepancies no one else would think to look for. I'd rather put 1000 families through the stress of a CPS investigation than let one kid get abused right under my nose.

I've seen parents hide diapers to make it look like their kid was in renal failure, i've seen a 3 year old with a positive tox screen for cocaine with a doting inconsolable mother at his bedside worried about his most recent cardiac arrest, a mom that was pouring just enough saline in her daughter's gtube to screw up her electrolytes and get her admitted every month, and another who was caught on camera contaminating a PICC line with feces. This is so much more common that people think it is.

We run to the phones to alert authorities if injuries are not consistent with the report the parents give us. Our culture needs to evolve to have the same urgency when the presenting clinical picture is also inconsistent.

If you still aren't sure, then think about the fact that you are setting yourself up for some serious liability. failing to follow through with a report, especially if you have documented suspicions, can loos you your licence and expose you to civil litigation. It's no different than documenting someone is suicidal but not doing anything about it. When they kill themselves, it's on you.

T-ROD, LPN · May 6, 2019

This actually happened in Springfield, MO. Which is the next town over from us. It was all very disturbing to say the least. The amount of funding that was poured into the family over the years was crazy.

Some stories you never forget and this one is very high for us around here.

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · May 7, 2019

On 5/3/2019 at 1:29 AM, GaryRay said:
It doesn't matter if you have the pieces together. It doesn't matter if you can prove it. All that matters is the red flag. As mandatory reporters we are expected to report to social services (not to our supervisor, or the facility social worker, or to the doctor) any suspected abuse.
We aren't trained criminal investigators, no one expects us to have solid evidence. We are trained professional healthcare providers. We are often the only people given access to these kids. And we can see discrepancies no one else would think to look for. I'd rather put 1000 families through the stress of a CPS investigation than let one kid get abused right under my nose.
I've seen parents hide diapers to make it look like their kid was in renal failure, i've seen a 3 year old with a positive tox screen for cocaine with a doting inconsolable mother at his bedside worried about his most recent cardiac arrest, a mom that was pouring just enough saline in her daughter's gtube to screw up her electrolytes and get her admitted every month, and another who was caught on camera contaminating a PICC line with feces. This is so much more common that people think it is.
We run to the phones to alert authorities if injuries are not consistent with the report the parents give us. Our culture needs to evolve to have the same urgency when the presenting clinical picture is also inconsistent.
If you still aren't sure, then think about the fact that you are setting yourself up for some serious liability. failing to follow through with a report, especially if you have documented suspicions, can loos you your licence and expose you to civil litigation. It's no different than documenting someone is suicidal but not doing anything about it. When they kill themselves, it's on you.

The law requires us to report suspicion of abuse or neglect. It does not require us to act without checking ourselves for bias, and it certainly does not require us to act without evidence.

Personally, if I made 1,000 reports that were unsubstantiated, something is wrong. I would need to check myself for hypervigilance, bias, something. Maybe I am having a psychological reaction to seeing children die in my work. Maybe I need therapy.

I'm a professional. That's why I am required to report my suspicion. My suspicion is supposed to mean something. It's supposed to be based on evidence.

Overreporting is not just a waste of resources. It also can do real damage to a family. A CPS investigation is extremely distressing to a family. For a family that is already struggling, it can push them over the edge. It can interfere with the bonding that needs to happen when a baby is young. In actual cases of abuse or neglect, it's collateral damage and it needs to happen. But don't think you don't owe it to yourself, the child, and the world in general to check yourself before you make a report.

Some parents are assholes. That's not a reason to report child abuse. Some parents have arrangements that you will think are odd, or lifestyles you don't agree with. Not a reason. I report based on what I think is happening to the child, not based on what I think I see in the parent.

I have worked in child/adolescent psych and also in adult psych. I have seen neglected and abused children. But I have also seen the devastating effects bogus CPS reports have had on families and my ethics comes from that experience as well.

I have had to remind members of my team that we shouldn't call CPS or APS just because someone has cursed us out. It's not about us. We can't call CPS because someone has threatened us with a lawsuit.

One nurse called CPS because the dad and grandmom were primary caretakers, and mom was not. Baby was well cared for, but mom wasn't the one doing it. This made the nurse uncomfortable, so she called CPS. That was an inappropriate call with a very bad effect on the family. What if that nurse had run through a few basic questions in her own mind before running to the phone? What if she had taken the time to ask herself "Is the baby getting good care in this situation?" If you are answering yes to that question, you should not report child abuse. Not every red flag is legitimate evidence of child abuse. Sometimes it's just your brain saying "Hey, I don't recognize/like this."

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · May 7, 2019

I'm glad folks here are differentiating between highly anxious parents and Factitious Disorder by Proxy.

Anxiety disorders are pretty common. Parents who freak out over minor injuries, overprotect, etc are often just very anxious people. Not to say they don't need help, but it is up to them whether or not they get it. People with high anxiety can still be good parents. Is it negative for the kids? Probably, but none of us is perfect. It's not abuse or neglect to be a worrywart.

I was highly anxious with my first child. I would hold a mirror under his nose to make sure he was breathing. I would wake up in a panic and have to run into his room to make sure he was okay. I was a very good parent, but I put a lot of pressure on myself. Looking back on it, I would have benefited from a group class for first time moms, or even group therapy. But I don't think I would have accepted any of that had it been offered, because I was a perfectionist. By the time I had my second child, I had chilled out quite a bit. After my third child I was even more relaxed. After my 4th I was genuinely laid back.

If I had remained as anxious as I was with my first, I might have been the type of parent to call the school nurse over a bug bite. Maybe. I hope not, but maybe.

I'm not sure that I cried when I found out that my son needed glasses, but it was very emotional for me to see him staring out the car window after he got his glasses, talking about how he saw leaves on the trees. And I remember the moment when it clicked why he was an absolute brat at the baseball game. I said "Don't you like baseball?" "Yes." "Then please stop whining and just watch the game." And he replied "WHAT GAME?!" And I thought he was being a royal brat. Well, when I realized that he never saw the game, because his vision was that bad, I felt badly about that, and tears were shed.

Very anxious parents can be excessively conscientious. Because they are perfectionists, they are prone to latent guilt which can look strange, maybe even attention seeking. They may need a lot of validation or they may be distrustful and controlling. It's not the same as Factitious Disorder by Proxy which is more rare. Those parents are not driven by anxiety.

ruby_jane, BSN, RN · May 7, 2019

2 hours ago, FolksBtrippin said:
I was highly anxious with my first child. I would hold a mirror under his nose to make sure he was breathing. I would wake up in a panic and have to run into his room to make sure he was okay. I was a very good parent, but I put a lot of pressure on myself. Looking back on it, I would have benefited from a group class for first time moms, or even group therapy. But I don't think I would have accepted any of that had it been offered, because I was a perfectionist. By the time I had my second child, I had chilled out quite a bit. After my third child I was even more relaxed. After my 4th I was genuinely laid back.

My inner new mom from 18 years ago wants to hug your inner new mom from back then.