There have been a lot of threads on bullying lately and some of the advice given has been less than ideal. Bullying is world wide (isn't THAT depressing) and is not confined to nursing but if we never action it, it will never go away. The other day I attended a workshop on bullying and I thought I might be able to translate some of that here.
My Aim in starting this thread is to get everyone to participate in a discussion about what exactly is bullying, then we can, together look at ways to stop it. Throughout the thread I will add links to websites such as http://www.workplacebullying.co.uk/
So that this can become a resource for all of us.
What is Bullying??
Bullies rarely see themselves in that role and sometimes what you think is an innocent action can be seen by another person as bullying. Below I have listed some statements/behaviours that may or may not constitute bullying.( You can add your own if you like;)) Have a look through them and decide if they are bullying or not - there are no real wrong answers - the idea is to have some fun. You don't have to answer all of these - you can pick out those you feel comfortable answering.
A) Do you ALWAYS leave that monitor off?
B) making eye contact with someone
C) The reason why we do that this way is............
D) Standing with your arms crossed while talking to someone else
E) Making personal comments about how someone walks
F) Standing with hands on hips while talking to someone
G) Pointing your finger at another person
H) "A lot of people here don't like how you work"
I) "Did you realise that it is policy here that we do things X way and not Y way"
J) "The other day you left things in a mess - you didn't date your fluid chart, you didn't put a time on that entry, you didn't fill in this form completely you didn'twash your coffee cup, you didn't tidy up. you didn't write in this book you didn't..............."
Hey there all! Finally decided to speak up. I was the object of bullying and mobbing at my last workplace and finally decided to leave, that nothing I did caused it or would relieve it. It was very emotionally harrowing for me (and I'm still trying to deal with the issues). I attempted to talk to her, change myself and talk with her supervisor. Nothing was effective, so I left, this person is still in her position of power and nothing has been done. I've been inmy area of nursing for 20 years and had never faced anything to this extent before. My suggestion is to talk with your feet, it's very scary starting out somewhere new but it will never get any better, esp if this person's higher ups don't or won't tackle the issue. There's a saying,"don't try to teach a pig to dance, you'll get dirty and the pig will be pissed off." There are better environments out there, I've been lucky, found 2 of them with very different mind sets in both units and I'm happy for the first time in 3 years. Best of luck to you, don't let this experience to lose yourself or your reason for becoming a nurse in the first place.
I've also taken a personal pledge not to talk about others with the rest of the crew and I WILL absolutely not stand for a manager to discuss someone behind his or her back!
I have walked in all the shoes. If you think any of that whining is being a bully, I hope you don't come and work with me. Thats all you hear in some places. Simple way around it is to not be a part of it. I simply tell them (they who whine or c/o) to get away from me, "don't you have YOUR own work to worry about"?
That's disturbing. I cross my arms across my chest a lot. Usually it's because I'm feeling very insecure. I also put my hands on my hips but I notice I only do it when I don't have pockets to put them in.
So sorry this is happening. the patients are the ones who suffer.
Believe me, it's not just the patients. For the first time in my life, I understand why bullied kids have killed themselves when they cannot escape this cruelty. It is EXHAUSTING!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all suicidal. It's just that now that I have been bullied, day in and day out, I GET IT now. I get it.
chadash
1,429 Posts