That MD is a %^&( and this is how I dealt with it....

bethin · Apr 30, 2007

We have one like that. We took outdated samples, put them in a little white bag and marked them "prozac" and left them at her computer.

She screamed at me because I didn't know what her pt's tele was running. I explained that I'm an aide and although I was sitting in front of the screen (ICU watches tele, we still get a screen though) that I should know how to read the (insert expletive here) tele.

I see her and I run. I avoid her at all costs.

NPinWCH · Apr 30, 2007

Not long ago a friend of mine had a baby delivered by a family doc and was also taking the baby to this same doc. She called me at home about a week after she delivered and said, "I was holding her in my lap and she turned blue on one side of her body, but stayed nice and pink on the other...do we need to worry." This babe was a pretty stuck shoulder dystocia and all round difficult delivery.

I went thru the usual questions (is she breathing OK, moving both sides, eating, peeing...) and all was normal so I told her it was what is called "Harlequin Sign" and it was a normal vasomotor response found especially in pre-term infants, but also term infants usually seen in the first month of life.

OK, so when she takes the baby to see the doc for her routine visit a week later she mentions this incident, as I told her to, along with what I had told her. The doc laughs at her, tells her I don't know what I'm talking about and says, "That's stupid, she's stupid and she's just making things up." (Remember, this doc knows me by name and knows exactly who she is saying this about). My friend is hurt and upset, calls me asking about different peds options, which I give her and ask her why she wants to change providers...she reluctantly tells me and I am TICKED OFF!!

Next time I see this doc I am caring for one of her pts in labor. We get through the delivery and while she is sitting in the nurses station writing orders, without saying a word I plop the pediatric text book with Harlequin Sign highlighted in front of her. She looks at it, turns bright red, looks at me and says, "Is this about S.? Well, um, that's not what she told me happened and I never said you were stupid or anything."

"MMM, funny I never mentioned you called me stupid did I?" Then I walked away. She never apologized and basically pretends this never happened. The sad part is, I don't think this doc makes great choices in OB, she's immature and silly, but I never once said a bad word about her to my friend.

My friend took her daughter to an actual pediatrician, told her about the incident and that doc told her the same thing I had.

PeachPie · Apr 30, 2007

^HAHAHAHA I love baited situations in which you can extract a full confession from someone!

TazziRN, RN · Apr 30, 2007

I knew a cardiologist who would make comments about me to my coworkers but never to me. The last straw was when I had a tele pt and an ICU pt, both being admitted. I took the tele pt first and asked a coworker to watch my ICU pt for me (more ICU obs than anything, he would have been fine on tele). Later my friend told me he made comments about my nursing ability because I left his ICU pt. I tracked him down in the hospital and told him I'd like to talk to him before he leaves for the night. When he came through the ER he made excuses about needing to get home. For days he made excuses whenever he saw me, but I was determined. I finally followed him to the ER doors and told him flat out that if he has a problem with me, he needs to talk to me or my charge or NM, not my coworkers. I also told him that if he had bothered to talk to me about his concerns he would have found that I'd had reasons for doing the things I'd done. He didn't say anything but he never did that to me again.

VegRN · Apr 30, 2007

Well, first off, if you aren't already, project confidence and the attitude that "I am not going to take your crap". These kind of Dr.s pick on the less confident nurses more than the ones that they think won't take it. Kind of like the bully in the playground.

If you are new, establish this kind of demeanor. Also, I would talk to her individually and tell her that her previous behavior is unacceptable and you are not going to listen to her if she is yelling at you. You might want to add that her behavior will be reported (or you may want to save this one for later). Likely you will get a bunch of attitude from her, she isn't believing it until she sees it in action. She will probably have lots of excuses that will start with "You did this/didn't do this". She will be blaming you. Well, tell her that you will be happy to talk about whatever it is she has an issue with IF she talks in a normal tone of voice. Keep repeating that last line if/when she starts saying she was yelling because of what you are doing. Remember, right now you have come to talk to her about HER behavior. Following through and not taking her crap while she is dishing it out is vitally important.

In the future, if she is yelling and getting out of hand, say her name until she stops and tell her you are not going to have a conversation with her if she is yelling. i.e Dr Smith, Dr Smith....If you stop yelling I will talk to you about your concerns. Repeating their name throws off their train of thought so you should be able to get their attention. If they haven't stopped yelling, tell them that you will talk to them later when they have quieted their voice and then walk away.

DO NOT under any circumstances take their abuse. It will just continue and probably get worse. They act this way because they think they can get away with it and probably already have. Don't personally take the abuse and also report it through whatever lines your hospital handles disruptive physician behavior.

A great resource is the book "Dealing with People you can't stand". It covers all sorts of difficult to deal with people and how to handle them. I highly recommend it.

Good luck

VegRN · Apr 30, 2007

I knew a cardiologist who would make comments about me to my coworkers but never to me. The last straw was when I had a tele pt and an ICU pt, both being admitted. I took the tele pt first and asked a coworker to watch my ICU pt for me (more ICU obs than anything, he would have been fine on tele). Later my friend told me he made comments about my nursing ability because I left his ICU pt. I tracked him down in the hospital and told him I'd like to talk to him before he leaves for the night. When he came through the ER he made excuses about needing to get home. For days he made excuses whenever he saw me, but I was determined. I finally followed him to the ER doors and told him flat out that if he has a problem with me, he needs to talk to me or my charge or NM, not my coworkers. I also told him that if he had bothered to talk to me about his concerns he would have found that I'd had reasons for doing the things I'd done. He didn't say anything but he never did that to me again.

Good job Tazzi!!!

MoriahRN · Apr 30, 2007

I am going to put all of these suggestions to use immediately. You are totally right about the doc picking on less confident nurses. Before I was off orientation I was "warned" about her, so I have been nervous from the begining. All your stories are soo encouraging! I hope to hear more!

MoriahRN · Jun 19, 2007

The tides have changed! The MD has been really cool for the last couple of weeks!!!! Thanks again for all the advise!

TazziRN, RN · Jun 19, 2007

Great! It's wonderful what can happen when the problem child knows the behavior will not be tolerated!

bigsyis · Jun 19, 2007

[quote=DO NOT under any circumstances take their abuse. It will just continue and probably get worse. They act this way because they think they can get away with it and probably already have. Don't personally take the abuse and also report it through whatever lines your hospital handles disruptive physician behavior.

VegRN gave you some excellent advice, but the part above is the best part of it. Maintain a professional demeanor at all times, do not let yourself be baited to raise your voice, or break into tears. If necessary, briefly excuse yourself if you find either of these things imminent, telling her, "pardon me-I will be back in just a moment," and then let her wonder where you've gone! Be sure you go right back, and hunt her up, if necessary. Also, be careful of the Nursing Staff and ancillary staff that you discuss this MD with because they often have close friends in some mighty strange places. Those friends have big ears and even bigger mouths-believe you me, this is the voice of experience speaking! Best of luck!

southernatheart · Jun 19, 2007

Okay ladies & gentlemen...Finish that sentencein the subject line. I have [evil]MD[/evil] that goes out of her way to just wipe out anyone's credibilty. I am real new at this hospital and want to learn strategies that have been successful fostering at least a working relationship with this she-devil :angryfire . I have had a couple of run ins and she exploded yelling at me in the middle:crying2: of giving her report for not telling her information that was at the end of my report. Just one example. So....let me hear it....
Moriah

First of all...they went to med school..not God school. Secondly, I'm not there to be friends with the docs. Third, during nursing school we're forced to put up with criticism and crap from instructors. Guess what..school's over, folks. If you have an issue with the care I'm giving, or with something I say regarding a patient? Talk to me like a human being. B/c I'm here a LOT more than you, and I am the one for 12 hours a day taking care of your patients. Treat me with respect, and I'll treat you the same way. I'm always looking for new ways to give the best possible care for our patients. If you have a suggestion that will make a difference for a patient...TEACH ME. I would not work in a facility that allowed physicians to run roughshod over its nurses. We ARE the hospital.