Only posted here a few times. But, now...yes now, more than ever need some support. Sitting alone after a tough shift wondering if I've made the mistake of thinking I was cut out for the ED. Had a tough night. Here's the kicker...not one of my patients were "critical", but each were so time consuming I simply could not keep up. I have a fantastic supporting team, but we are usually short with only 1 tech that is pulled in a million different directions. So as the RN, we usually have to do everything on our own.
I'm constantly saying, "I've never done this, could you help", "Would you mind giving me a hand, I've never done this, "Is this indeed correct dosage", "I can't read these orders, what does this say".....the list goes on and on and on. I try to stay positive, but usually about the 11th hour of my shift, I start wondering if I should come back the next day. I feel so stupid, slow, inadequate and unworthy.
I was an hour late hanging a simple liter of NS on a patient, then had to give Avelox that was bound to drop his BP even more. The doc (BTW, who is so fast, quite non-verbal) gave me a look like that I've never seen him give anyone else before. My heart dropped and I apologized, no harsh words from him, just that look of disappointment. I didn't feel like explaining to him that I was irrigating 6 liters through the bladder of my other pt and he was bleeding from his member and my 2 other patients were on there call light constantly needing attention as he wouldn't have cared much.
I was the tech in this department for 6 mos, then completed my practicum here, then offered the residency position. I feel like the bar has been set really high for me and I don't feel like I'm cutting it.
BTW, I am aware that many feel new grads don't belong in the ED. But the fact of the matter is, I'm there.
I know I just have to keep moving, keep trucking, keep trying my best. I'm not stupid, I'm slower than most. But I don't have a very thick skin right now. Hypersentive to everything. I never once thought this was going to be a cake walk, but I also would like to get a good nights sleep without dwelling on everything I could have, should have or would have done better.
I remember feeling the same way when I transitioned from psych to ER. I had a great orientation (back in the good ole days) and supportive charge nurse. I had worse than a "look" given to me...flat out verbal aggression...which I now laugh about. Keep your chin up!
being new is tough! i'm a fairly experience ER nurse but now doing the traveling thing and i'm new every 8 or 13 weeks and it is tough always saying 'where is this, how does your facility handle...' it's easy to feel slow and inadequate. and i do not have the typical thick skin required for ER nurses i think.
time is what you need. you will get there i promise. be good to yourself on your days off. get your rest. i can relate to waking up in the middle of the night wanting a do over. that is normal. you will do it better next time and that's what is hard and great about being an ER nurse - always something new.
your feelings are normal! but keep at it. we need you!
I didn't feel like explaining to him that I was irrigating 6 liters through the bladder of my other pt and he was bleeding from his member and my 2 other patients were on there call light constantly needing attention as he wouldn't have cared much. 
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RNjk
1 Post
Hang in there. Every new position feels scary. It will get better.