Survival of the Fittest - Resilience

What makes some people able to survive the unsurvivable and yet other's seem to wilt at the least amount of difficulty?

Survival of the Fittest - Resilience

From the Mayo Clinic here is a definition of resilience: the ability to bounce back from adversity and how this ability positively affects overall physical and mental health.

I've been a nurse for more than 23 years in various capacities and have witnessed great adversity in patients and families:

A family in our neighborhood lost their 2 y/o son to leukemia. As a legacy to their son, they established a fund-raiser for our local St Jude affiliate and have become spokesmen for childhood cancer support. They have also had another child, remain active in other community activities and though they still mourn the loss of their son, they have triumphed over this monumental tragedy.

My close friend has lost two jobs in the last two years thru no wrong doing of her own and has survived two strokes. She has gone from making >$100k/year to less than $30k/year. Yet, she still smiles, considers herself lucky to have good friends in her life and that the Lord allows her to wake up each day. She continually looks to the future.

Another friend found out, at age 23 that he has stage IV colorectal cancer. His faith in God sustains him and his wife and allows them to support their infant son throughout this ordeal. He greets everyone with a smile and asks how YOU are doing before you get to ask how HE is doing.

What makes these people so resilient? Is it their upbringing? Their faith? Something else? I don't know. However, I hope I develop it or earn it or can one day buy it!

So...a little further into my research, I found this information from the American Psychological Association:

  1. Be kind to yourself.
  2. Make connections with others.
  3. Accept that change is part of life.
  4. Maintain a helpful attitude.
  5. Move toward your goals.
  6. Take decisive action.

And there are other steps that you can take to develop resilience.

In this day and age, we know as nurses, our world is all about change. To cope with the change, we all need to be resilient. Other steps we can take as nurses include:

  1. Embrace change. Be the first in your unit to sign up for in-services on new equipment or procedures. Look to the positives of change.
  2. Take care of yourself: (I know we've all heard this before but its true) - get enough sleep, especially if you are a shiftworker, drink water, exercise (aim for 30 minutes a day - it can be increments of 10 minutes) and overall, you have to be best YOU you can be!
  3. Sign up to be on a committee. Be at the forefront of your unit. This might allow you to realize your place in the unit and also provide you with advancement potential.
  4. Further your education. Get the BSN or MSN that will open doors. Bedside nursing can become more difficult as you age and getting that degree allows for more opportunities.
  5. Don't let your age be the deciding factor. If you plan to work until you are 65 or beyond going back to school in your 40's or 50's is often doable.
  6. Get your specialty certification. There can be financial incentives for this as well. It can also help you to be the expert on your unit or shift.
  7. Volunteer to precept new nurses on your unit. Remember back to your days as a newbie: what did you appreciate, like or dislike? What do you wish had been taught during orientation?
  8. Mentor new nurses. Be the nurse you want to work with!

So...in the end, what I learned is: in many cases, resilience is what YOU make of it.

Best wishes for a resilient life!

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traumaRUs

About traumaRUs, MSN, APRN

Trauma Columnist
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Specializes in geriatrics.

I've often wondered what makes some people more resilient than others? As you've mentioned, resilience is defined through various factors, including:

1) Ability to accept change

2) Ability to reflect on both positive and negative events with some objectivity

3) Overall mental and physical health

4) Family and friends

I am very resilient, and I'm certain that my resilience has everything to do with my ability to accept and welcome change. I've also realized that certain issues are managed, not cured.

More importantly, I'm not a people pleaser. While I am kind and giving, I have no problem setting boundaries and saying "no", regardless of what people think. I've never given much thought or concern to what others think about my life choices.

Really knowing and accepting who you are is the key to building resilience. It's an ongoing journey.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Really knowing and accepting who you are is the key to building resilience. It's an ongoing journey.

I'd like to add my thoughts to the topic of resilience...

Based on anecdotes and personal experiences, the most resilient people deal with issues as they come. Everyone has baggage, but resilient people work through whatever weighs them down before placing the baggage at the curbside for pickup.

Meanwhile, the least resilient people often utilize dysfunctional coping techniques to deal with past baggage, such as addictions, unhelpful defense mechanisms, and a past-oriented mentality. Keeping both eyes in the past will blind you in the present and ensure you remain a weighed-down, broken person.

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You know what I wonder about resilience? Is, why does the same person have an incredible amount of resiliance one day, and then the next, they don't?

When my daughter passed away (after 4 years of fertility treatments) it was so hard. All of the counselors and hospital staff kept warning my husband and I that when these situations happen, couples usually divorce because of it. That situation was the single hardest time of my life, yet we made it through and kept trying. I admit I cried my eyes out during her wake, but I remember being like a statue during her funeral.

But, then you take something as simple as me withdrawing from a bridge program, I literally cried for 2 days.

All I can imagine is that our souls know when we *have* to be resilient. If I would have let myself go to the feelings and situations when my daughter died, I highly doubt I would have made it out in one piece, but a few days of crying over a program is no biggie.

Internal survival mechanism?

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
When my daughter passed away (after 4 years of fertility treatments) it was so hard.
I am so very sorry for your loss, Scottishtape. I could not possibly imagine the pain of dealing with the untimely demise of a daughter or son. I extend my deepest condolences.
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I am so very sorry for your loss, Scottishtape. I could not possibly imagine the pain of dealing with the untimely demise of a daughter or son. I extend my deepest condolences.

Thank you

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Specializes in ORTHO, PCU, ED.
You know what I wonder about resilience? Is, why does the same person have an incredible amount of resiliance one day, and then the next, they don't?

When my daughter passed away (after 4 years of fertility treatments) it was so hard. All of the counselors and hospital staff kept warning my husband and I that when these situations happen, couples usually divorce because of it. That situation was the single hardest time of my life, yet we made it through and kept trying. I admit I cried my eyes out during her wake, but I remember being like a statue during her funeral.

I'm so sorry too Scottishtape. [emoji22]

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I'm so sorry too Scottishtape. [emoji22]

Thank you *hugs*

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Resilience in the face of the unthinkable - the loss of your child - is in itself unthinkable.

Grief has its own timeline - I'm so very sorry for your loss!

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Resilience in the face of the unthinkable - the loss of your child - is in itself unthinkable.

Grief has its own timeline - I'm so very sorry for your loss!

Thank you.

This post is very thought provoking, thank you for posting it!

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II have walked a hard road, but I am learning others have walked harder than me.

It was the difficult things in my life that made me the person I am today, and I hope I can grow as the future comes one step at a time.

So I try to spring out of bed each day.

I went from engaged making good money to dying in a hospital bed. I decided I wasn't done with life yet.

Sometines I wish I could go back seven years knowing what I know now, I had to learn the hard way.

The only one who can fix you is you. I make mistakes, but now I try to recognize them, and prevent them from snowballing like I did in the past.

Still don't know what the future holds, but the first time in a long time I feel optimistic.

For a long time I thought I was hopeless, a strange thing happened when I decided to gamble on myself, I overcame for the first time in my life.

Dont know if I will achieve my goals, but I find I am happy just doing my best.

I couldn't live with myself anymore, so I attempted something difficult, and I succeeded. Still not there yet, but everyday brings a new opportunity to learn from my mistakes.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
I went from engaged making good money to dying in a hospital bed. I decided I wasn't done with life yet.
Yes...our life's trajectory consists of about 10 percent of what has happened to us. The remaining 90 percent is our outlook and reactions to these occurrences.

It all comes down to a simple quote, IMHO: "Get busy living or get busy dying..."

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