So I had a difficult family the other night that ended up with a mediation between myself and the charge nurse, the nursing supervisor, and a patients family.
I didn't really know what to say to those people except just listen to how horrible of nurse I was, how horrible our floor was, and how there were several "incidents" they could have gotten people fired over or reported but didn't because they didn't want to cause any trouble. Funny thing was when offered to move to another floor stated the other floors were the same. The nursing supervisor told me to write up an incident report since most of the claims were obnoxious.
My question is how do you handle a difficult family when their complaints and comments are obnoxious or semi-abusive. Does anyone have good ideas? I know I am not a bad nurse, because I have had many patients say wonderful things to me. But it really burns when you hear that you are a terrible nurse. People say ignore them, but how do you ignore flat out nastiness? It makes it seem like it is excusable. I became a nurse to help the sick, not be the emotional punching bag.
Many many years ago I worked in a nursing home as a charge nurse. There was a nasty husband who was always screaming and yelling at all of the nursing staff.:angryfire He was totally abusive to everyone every day. All he could say was that all of us were horrible and that his wife had horrible care at our facility. I finally let him have it. I looked him straight in the eye and loudly said "If this place is so horrible why do you keep your wife in such a horrible place? Why don't you take her home and yes you, you take care of her yourself! He was totally shocked and speechless! He never talked or yelled at me again. Of course, this happened many many years ago. I'm sure if I made such a remark in today's world of "customer service" nursing I would be fired.
At my hospital we often have security speak to the family when they get this bad. Complaining is one thing but when they start to get loud and abussive you must cut it off soon.
Our unit has this experience with families and patients from time to time, the most important thing staff can do is consistantly document care, comments by family or patients; also the staff have to hold their own personal observations, comments or opinions away from this situation. Families have said "Oh these nurses don't care about their patients", they are rude ...etc. Sometimes it only takes a small misunderstanding or a patient getting admitted at a busy time or during an emergency to cause trouble during their entire stay (sigh)
So I had a difficult family the other night that ended up with a mediation between myself and the charge nurse, the nursing supervisor, and a patients family.
I didn't really know what to say to those people except just listen to how horrible of nurse I was, how horrible our floor was, and how there were several "incidents" they could have gotten people fired over or reported but didn't because they didn't want to cause any trouble. Funny thing was when offered to move to another floor stated the other floors were the same. The nursing supervisor told me to write up an incident report since most of the claims were obnoxious.
My question is how do you handle a difficult family when their complaints and comments are obnoxious or semi-abusive. Does anyone have good ideas? I know I am not a bad nurse, because I have had many patients say wonderful things to me. But it really burns when you hear that you are a terrible nurse. People say ignore them, but how do you ignore flat out nastiness? It makes it seem like it is excusable. I became a nurse to help the sick, not be the emotional punching bag.
My first suggestion is to work nights, you wont have to deal with as much annoying whining complaining family members. Second you have to realize that when people are sick they tend to feel miserable and often project there misery onto those around them. Same thing with the family, they feel powerless in the situation and blaming people, whining, bickering yelling and screaming helps these miserable individuals feel as if they are in more control of their situation. You just have to realize this - basically the way you deal with this is to ignore it, only go in the room when you need to - you know how to do your job, you know that you are competant and capable and you don't need pathetic idiots telling you how incompetant you are because they are just miserable themselves. Just do what you have to do and leave the room and make sure you document, and oh yeah..DID I SAY WORK NIGHTS???
Many many years ago I worked in a nursing home as a charge nurse. There was a nasty husband who was always screaming and yelling at all of the nursing staff.:angryfire He was totally abusive to everyone every day. All he could say was that all of us were horrible and that his wife had horrible care at our facility. I finally let him have it. I looked him straight in the eye and loudly said "If this place is so horrible why do you keep your wife in such a horrible place? Why don't you take her home and yes you, you take care of her yourself! He was totally shocked and speechless! He never talked or yelled at me again. Of course, this happened many many years ago. I'm sure if I made such a remark in today's world of "customer service" nursing I would be fired.
I know how you feel - you did the write thing and your methodology was forceful but effective. Nowadays you have to kiss everyones A$$ because you always have to worry about some PC lib Lawyer suing you for "offending" someones sensitivities. Its pathetic how our society has become.
When I was Charge on Medical we had a family who never left their mother alone, for a single minute. There were 3 children and multiple adult grandchildren, and they rotated "shifts" w/this pt 24/7. The minute you stepped into the room for ANY reason, they wrote down your name and everything that you said or did while you were in there in a spiral-bound notebook that they sat with in their laps at all times. Once I was making rounds w/an MD that told the son he would not talk w/him unless he closed the notebook and put it away. There had never been an "incident" w/these people, yet their attitude screamed OFFENSIVE from the moment you opened the door. The patient was a wonderful lady, while her family, well, they just stunk!
Wow what pathetic miserable people, that is unbelievable. You go to a hospital to get care for whatever condition you might be afflicted with and these morons think that your purpose as a nurse/physician is to harm the patient, lol its complete insanity.
Specializes in Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych.
When I was Charge on Medical we had a family who never left their mother alone, for a single minute. There were 3 children and multiple adult grandchildren, and they rotated "shifts" w/this pt 24/7. The minute you stepped into the room for ANY reason, they wrote down your name and everything that you said or did while you were in there in a spiral-bound notebook that they sat with in their laps at all times. Once I was making rounds w/an MD that told the son he would not talk w/him unless he closed the notebook and put it away. There had never been an "incident" w/these people, yet their attitude screamed OFFENSIVE from the moment you opened the door. The patient was a wonderful lady, while her family, well, they just stunk!
I've had family members do the same thing to me. I wouldn't have the nerve to tell them to put it down, but that certainly would make me feel better.
Runman1914, MSN, RN
182 Posts
At my hospital we often have security speak to the family when they get this bad. Complaining is one thing but when they start to get loud and abussive you must cut it off soon.