Stressed and Depressed

Published

I just got off my shift a while ago and I must say that I am just so stressed and depressed after only having to deal with one patient today. I just felt so 'useless' and just... overwhelmed that it's still affecting me! I understand that I'll have times like this all of the time (and have) but this is just getting to me and I don't know why.

As you guys know, I work in an ICU. We had a fourteen [14] year old male pt brought up who was involved in an auto accident. Was brought in c/o chest pain and a bunch of bruises, cuts and abrasions.

In any case, he was transported up to my floor as we awaited CT results just for observation. He was rapidly doing well (good state of mind, talking, normal vitals, etc.). We had him on an IV with just saline to prevent dehydration, and he was pretty sore so he had some pain meds as well.

About 2 hours into him being on the floor, he coded while his best friend (another ~14 year old male) and his mother was in the room. Now... this is what really got to me was his best friend (you could tell these two guys have been through a lot just by the way they talked around each other and just acted) had to watch his best friend die.

Me, 2 other RN's and an MD were there right away. The MD had a little trouble intubating but finally did on a second attempt. Unfortunately, after working on him for ~15 minutes the patient was declared dead.

For some reason his best friend crying and his mother screaming outside of the room just has made me feel so; blah! I couldn't imagine being 14 years old and watching my best friend die in an ICU.

In any case, just thought I'd share that with you and let you know I feel like crap for some reason. HEHE!

Thanks for reading.

Specializes in Critical care, Home health, Tele, Agency.

Wow, that is terrible. Its hard sometimes to deal with things that hit close to home.

Just wondering though your hospital practices....We work on a patient more than 15 minutes...and this was a kid...why didnt they code him longer?

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Specializes in telemetry, med-surg and hospice.

Wow!!

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I can not imagine watching what you had to watch. I could not imagine dealing with a mom watching her child die and a young man watch his friend die. How horrible! Sorry that you had such a crumby night.:icon_hug:

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Specializes in MICU/SICU.

Time heals all wounds. I will never forget (It's been at least 18 years) my first horrible death involving a young person and their family. Sometimes you cannot predict, nor prevent these things.

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Specializes in Case Mgmt; Mat/Child, Critical Care.

Of course you're bothered by this! You wouldn't be human if you weren't! I'm really sorry you have to deal w/this. Exactly why I had to leave Adult ICU many yrs ago....I just couldn't handle all the random death I saw. After about 6mos in ICU, I realized that I, myself, had become horribly depressed and that it was d/t the fact I spent so much time dwelling on the cases in the unit.

Everyone has their niche but we all are affected by our pt's death's at some point or another. Does your unit offer grief counselling for staff? Also, take some time for you, see a movie, go to a spa, etc, etc.

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Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.

I'm really sorry that this happened the way it did. It must have been a shock to everyone.

I have a question-why was the code called after only 15 minutes on a 14 year old? We used to work young folks and younger adults up to 45 minutes, sometimes. 15 minutes just doesn't seem like very long, unless there was a cardiac contusion w/torsades, or something ruptured, like the aorta, or something. Just wondering.

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While it's horrible to imagine what the mother and friend must be going through, it doesn't do them any good for you to take on their burden. They will have to deal with it in their own ways. In this case, you are the nurse in the situation and you have to find a way to deal with it as well. As they say, take care of yourself first, otherwise you can't very well take care of others.

At the very least, if they and you can get past the shock of witnessing the sudden death, there may be a blessing in there that the boy died having had the opportunity to spend his last moments in good humor with his mother and best buddy. And the mother and best buddy clearly let the boy know he was cared for by them by being there for him.

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Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.
While it's horrible to imagine what the mother and friend must be going through, it doesn't do them any good for you to take on their burden. They will have to deal with it in their own ways. In this case, you are the nurse in the situation and you have to find a way to deal with it as well. As they say, take care of yourself first, otherwise you can't very well take care of others.

At the very least, if they and you can get past the shock of witnessing the sudden death, there may be a blessing in there that the boy died having had the opportunity to spend his last moments in good humor with his mother and best buddy. And the mother and best buddy clearly let the boy know he was cared for by them by being there for him.

Excellent, and so very true. If you look hard enough, there always seems to be a silvre lining to most situations.

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