Strange things found on (or in) a pt.

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I've always wondered, especially after hearing about this guy who brought a snake into the ER----what is the strangest thing you've ever found on (or in) a patient?

Specializes in ER,ICU,L+D,OR.

Ive seen a lot of things over the years. But probably the best i have ever seen was a woman in her late teens maybe 20 or so. Brought in by PD. They wanted a bimanual exam to rule possible inserted contraband. She was refusing examination. Her right. They finally got a court order for examination. At which point the she gave up reached in and pulled out a very sized sealed bag of Marijuana. And promptly handed it to the police officer before he could put gloves on. The look on his face was hilarious. He wanted us to put his hands in the autoclave, almost.

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Patient had a huge plastic bag that he liked to put his entire body into, attach it to a vacuum, lie on his bed face down and insert his manhood into a hole in the mattress. EMS called him in as a DOA.

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Patient had a huge plastic bag that he liked to put his entire body into, attach it to a vacuum, lie on his bed face down and insert his manhood into a hole in the mattress. EMS called him in as a DOA.

This sounds like a Darwin award.

OTOH, if you leave out the vacuum seal, it could be a method of REALLY safe sex!

:smokin:

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Specializes in ER/ICU/Flight.
AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Way to combine my two squickiest issues: eyeballs and parasites.

I hear ya! Parasites don't really bother me much, but eyeballs......different story.

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Specializes in ER/ICU/Flight.
Did it crawl into her eye socket and lodge behind the eyeball? How did it get in there if that's the case?

sorry, it's been awhile and I forgot about this thread. in answer to your questions, yes, it had to have crawled right in through her socket. I don't understand how it could have gotten back there unless it happened while she was asleep. But it was not visable until they were able to manipulate her eye in the hospital.

I can't imagine how awful it must have been for her. but she was a total trooper and was back at home that evening. I would have required an entire anesthesia team and probably would have still left claw marks down the hall leading into the OR!!

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Specializes in ER/ICU/Flight.
Patient had a huge plastic bag that he liked to put his entire body into, attach it to a vacuum, lie on his bed face down and insert his manhood into a hole in the mattress. EMS called him in as a DOA.

very strange. reminds me of a guy who had one of those vacuum pumps that are supposed to make a member bigger. this guy had over-done it and got his whole scrotum stuck in there too. it hurt so bad he wasn't able to function clearly enough to get it out. he struck me as the type of guy who would eventually drink some alcohol and brag about this misadventure to his buddies.

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Ok Ive also had this 400+ lb. woman come in with a yeast infection, Yeah I know not strange yet but Im not done, anyway I take her back to the gyn room and I get a female nurse, me, and then the docs came in a med student, intern, and resident, oh great we have a show goin wonderful, I only requested the intern and I get all 3, well I and carla my best friend we set up for them, well anyways what we see is amazing, she came in complaining of discharge, well it just so happens we see this large brown like plant growing thing and we think tumor, well anyways she tells us its a sweet potato and her mother told her to put it there because its supposed to stop the drippage lol, and well we pull it out and there is some discharge or shall I say drippage lol, anyway our residents and attendings have got this habit going on us nurses are trying to break, yes they will actually stick there nose right up to any pus or drainage to see if it smells infectious which is gross if you ask me, well our great resident tells our lovely student to do this, hold it lol, anyways he goes to do this particular sniff test when its like a god send she goes into a full gran mal seizure and her legs lock around his head, now all of us are laughing so hard we cant help him I and carla are on the floor rolling, the intern over by the sink laughing his guts out and the resident trying but laughing to hard to do anything, to pull these massive legs apart, well and Im thinking oh god Im supervisor what am I going to tell this poor kids parents, "Oh Im sorry but your son died while examining a patient you see he stuck his nose in her cooch because of a lady partsl infection and she had a seizure and suffocated him with her legs, anyway I finally got some ativan in her and her legs pried off his head. lol, hes alright except that carla and me still laugh everytime we see him now, hes an attending.

ROFLMAO!! Oh my that was just wrong!!!! LOL!! Ahh.. poor kid... smh. I wouldn't ever be able to show my face again.

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very strange. reminds me of a guy who had one of those vacuum pumps that are supposed to make a member bigger. this guy had over-done it and got his whole scrotum stuck in there too. it hurt so bad he wasn't able to function clearly enough to get it out. he struck me as the type of guy who would eventually drink some alcohol and brag about this misadventure to his buddies.

A poster on another board I frequent works in the office at a voc/tech college dorm that is 90% plus men who are barely out of high school and on their own for the first time. She's always telling stories about that place that can't be made up, and she told the story of a young man who moved out and left behind one thing.

You guessed it - a member enlargement device, smeared with Vaseline. She even posted a photo as evidence.

:barf02:

Someone else in the office thought it was a stethoscope.

Really.

Wonder what kind of a doctor they go to - if at all. :coollook:

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Pencil in a member

Very very very large zucchini in rectum , required surgery for removal it was so large, the girls in ICU baked the surgeon a chocolate zucchini cake to honor his accomplishment.

A very very large cucumber in rectum

Large apple in rectum... with a bite missing

Snapple bottle in rectum

A young lad came in with appendicitis, in the OR they found a joint tucked up under his member, for safe-keeping one must presume.

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Specializes in ER/ICU/Flight.
Wonder what kind of a doctor they go to - if at all. :coollook:

Maybe an amateur proctologist, I'm sure there's a market for them somewhere!!

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Specializes in Intensive Care Nursery.

the top piece (the piece that rotates and is dull on one end!) of finger nail clippers jammed under skin of wrist..

scope mouthwash lid in rectum, claims he was drunk and his friends placed it there while he was passed out.

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There was a pt that came into the clinic for just a routine visit and in taking her history she mentioned that she had a prolapsed uterus that had been bothering her lately. When the MD went to examine her he found sprouts coming from her lady parts. When the pt was asked about these she stated that she placed a potato there to keep her uterus from falling out.

Needless to say this visit ended up being so much more than routine.

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