strange request?

KellNY, RN · Feb 10, 2007

I think it could be a bit traumatic for a 2 year old to see mommy moaning in pain and making other noises to cope with the labor. Also, seeing all of the blood and other stuff. I think it could be pretty hard on a youg child, heck, even an older child. I dont think it is an uneducated statement at all. And that is regardless of the regulations/institutions.
Not only that, PTSD is not something you would see in the delivery room, or a few hours later. Children can have overexagerated imaginations and may remember it very different than it actually happens. Ever have a kid recall something big (good or bad) that happened to them? Usually, you get an exaggerated story, because that is how they remember it.

I'm sorry that you think that, but it's worked quite well for years. Like I said it happens all the time in other countries, and more often than you'd think here. And I've never heard of ONE case of ptsd from a sibling witnessing a normal (or abnormal) birth. Many children get scared if the adults around them are acting scared/frantic/panic-y. Witnessing a normal delivery of a sibling is actually a great lesson on birth (that blood loss is normal, that mama moaning doesn't mean she's hurt or sick, that people are here to help her, etc--sure beats the glossed over, dramatic Hollywood depiction IMO), and depending on the age of the sibleng, can help create an amazing bond.

I understand PTSD, and I've kept in contact with many of my clients who delivered, and we're talking about 5+ years ago, and they're showing no signs of PTSD whatsoever. Some siblings were thrilled at the idea of watching another sibling being born (ie they were there for their sister's birth, now mom is pregnant again). Some, like I said, didn't care-they sat there coloring while baby was crowning, or munching on juice and cookies.

When I said uneducated I meant it not as an insult, but as an observation. It's also wrong to assume that this mother was potentially causing a debilitating mental illness to her young child by requesting that he attend the birth (and yes, as I'm sure you know, PTSD is debilitating). ALL the mothers I've known who had their younger or older children at their birth took a formal class to prepare the child, or did a lot of self education-including watching graphic videos of normal lady partsl births.

It depends on the child, and NO child should ever be forced to do anything. But in general, birth is not traumatic unless you make it so--especially a child who has not been indoctrinated into our "Birth is a medical emergency and oh-so dangerous culture". Blood and poo and goo and slime and moans are not a nighmare unless we make them that. Sometimes they're normal and healthy, as in a birth, and I think it's a great lesson for a willing child.

lovemyjob · Feb 10, 2007

either way, all I am saying is that it is not unreasonable that someone would be concerned about he effects of the birth on a young child. I think a case where a delivery went south (yes deliveries that have no intervention can go south just like one with an epidural, an IV and pit) can/could be traumatic.

love2shop · Feb 10, 2007

On a lighter note to this whole sibling thing I would never

have my child in with me. She loves to tell "personal family"

things to everyone she meets. Like "daddy is constipated...do you

know what constipated means?" To the poor unsuspecting mailman.

Could you imagine the stories she would have if witnessed a birth?

Ugh!!!

melrina75 · Feb 10, 2007

We had a young CHI patient, who was a Rancho III with no hopes of improvement, on our floor and his family asked us to put him on the transplant list. We needed clarification as for what the transplant was for. They were very enraged, because how dare we not consider him for the brain transplant list they saw on tv last week!! NO KIDDING!! They were VERY upset when we told them that was not medically possible and said they were going to go the press and accuse us of not giving it to him because he didn't have insurance!!:roll Some people just have no sense!!!

flytern · Feb 17, 2007

I remember the show. It was a food show (go figure) on PBS. The placenta was fried up and eaten on crackers. In England.

Mine: I had a bald father rub the placenta on his head for 1/2hr, supposedly to grow back hair. All it did was make him look extremely gross!:nuke:

savedbutterfly · Feb 17, 2007

My son was in the room when I had my daughter so was my mom and husband, if there were any problems my mom was there to take him out. He was the one who got to tell my daughter her name for the first time. Overall I had a great experience and my son was very happy that he was not excluded from the room. And he never had any type of distress from the experience.

TNNurse92 · Feb 17, 2007

Several years ago I cared for a middle aged patient who was a post lap choley. She requested that I assist her to the restroom. She then requested that I "put your finger in my butt, I KNOW that Dr. XXX sewed it up while he had me in there" When I told her no she proceeded to argue and then bent over and yelled that I should look closely because she KNEW he had sewn it up.

missdeevah, NP · Feb 18, 2007

Eeeeewwwww!!!!

Galore · Feb 19, 2007

My mom had her first child in a hospital and hated the experience, so she had the rest of us at home with a midwife and family friends over to assist. I can't remember if we watched the actual birth, but we were all home and could hear what was going on, and were definitely in the room when our siblings were being cleaned up, umbilical cord cut, all of that. I was age 2.5 for one brother's birth and 7 for the youngest, and truthfully the only thing I really remember about one of the births is that we got to have McDonald's Happy Meals for dinner that night because everyone was too busy too cook! We were poor and my mom was very hippie granola back then so that was a rare treat for us. I can see how in a sterile hospital setting it might seem weird to have a toddler observing, but I don't recall it being traumatic and even if it was I have very vague memories of it anyway.