should i stay or should i go

[ladymaam817]

Ive been in my curreny position for two years. I feel I never meshed with this crew. I have not been able to settle on a clear reason, but i always feel alone.

I knew i was an outsider when several get togethers were planned directly in front of.me with the planners having no intention of including me.

I chose to keep quiet, never let them see you sweat, i thought.

Then the ##It started. Arguments, disagreements, write ups, you name it. I started feeling targeted.

Now what. If.ignoring people doesnt work, attempting to avoid confrontation doesnt work, and if reporting to my supervisor the first sign of unrest among the group..then what? What do i do.

For personal reasons, i dont want to leave. I think.i may be in.a.small department where foolishness is.abound.

Shoud i stay, and let the naysayers keep talking, or should i leave the company or the department. The treads that i have read here say nurses are cruel and clique-y. So why should i run away. I also read that if you make the error of yelling that you're dead.in the water. So lets hear your opinions.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

First off, whatever or however others act are out of your control, and no reflection on you. Let them do their thing, and really thank your lucky stars you DON'T have to socialize with them.

Do your job, do it well, document as you are supposed to. That covers you if there's write ups and such. If there comes a time that a patient safety is at risk, meaning something like a patient who is a 2 person assist and no one will assist you, THEN I would involve the charge nurse. If there is no response, then go up the chain of command.

Otherwise, make your life outside of the facility full and fun. When you are at work, just do what you need to do, and clock out and go home.

People can be screwed up and nasty for any number of reasons. You are responsible for how you practice, your integrity, your character. Don't compromise this for any reason--especially a group of people who are so juvenile, it is surprising that they have the integrity and maturity to care for patients at all.

I find that bringing a book, your kindle, a magazine to read during break/lunch or text a friend can occupy your downtime in ways that you enjoy, and lowers the level of stress that wears on no one but you.

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

I'm not into socializing outside work, or getting BFF with my co-workers. But I would never get comfortable feeling like such an outsider. Whatever the reason, it doesn't have to be personal. Even if they don't like you, it's more about them and what they like than as if there were something wrong with you :)

I'll vote for get another job. I need to feel kinda homey, comfortable, relaxed and friendly with my co-workers. I've worked in different places where I was an outsider and when I felt completely accepted. Life is too short, it's just what works best for me :)

[RunBabyRN]

I agree that it's all good to consider looking elsewhere. Your team can make or break your work environment, even if they're not your BFFs. Feeling supported is SO important.

Not all of nursing is clique-y and mean. I have seen horrible environments and very supportive environments (and everything in between). I would seriously take less money and a less desirable specialty for the right team.

[Lucky724]

I think you've given it enough time and whether it's them, you or a combination, the fit is just not there. That does not mean you would not find it somewhere else. Often times people think co-workers = friends. That is unusually, in my experience, not the case. That doesn't mean I haven't like the people I work with but I wouldn't socialize outside of work with them. Nothing personal i just prefer my work like to be separate from my personal life.

If you like the overall company you work for and can transfer maybe look at that, if not, then I'd say find someplace else. It's obviously not going to get any better where you are. Good luck.

[calivianya, BSN, RN]

I honestly think nursing is too hard to stay around coworkers you don't mesh with. You don't have to be buddy-buddy with them and hang out after work or anything, but you should at least be able to have friendly conversations while you're working together, and look forward to saying hi and catching up when you get to work. Our jobs are so hard. Management, patients, family members, staffing ratios, lack of raises, working weekends and holidays, dealing with awful physicians... these are all stressors. There should be SOMETHING good about your job. If you don't have good coworkers, many times nothing about the job is good, and having a job where there is nothing to look forward to about going to work is too depressing. I know it adversely affects my health, if nothing else.

Apply other places! And, even more importantly... ask if you can do a shadow interview, where you hang out with nurses on the floor for four hours or more while you are interviewing, follow them around, and get a feel for the work flow. Three places I applied interviewed me like that. It tells you a LOT about the unit culture and how the current nurses react to new people. I wish I would have been able to do that with the job I'm working now. It may have made it obvious in advance that my current position would not have been a good fit for me.