Starting therapy--need opinions about past drug use

[imanubee]

I've battled depression on and off my entire life. Recently I started seeing a psychiatrist and am on antidepressants. What a difference they've made for me!!! She also recommended therapy and I thought, "Why not?"

My first session was very difficult--talking seems hard for me. One of the things that I'm torn about discussing is my past history of drug abuse. I started smoking pot and drinking at 11 and things really spiraled downward for me. During my teens and early 20s, I partied hard and made some very bad choices and at one point attempted suicide. I no longer use or hang around friends that do---haven't in almost a decade.

I am concerned that admitting to any or all of this in my sessions and discussing some of the choices that I made will ultimately come back to bite me in the butt. I worry that down the line, it may somehow affect my employment, my future license, my insurability for medical or life insurance, etc. Nursing is my second career and I do not want to jeopardize my future by discussing things from twenty-plus years ago. Am I being uber-paranoid, or should I just come clean?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

[iloveclay]

Just a couple questions..............Are you presently practicing as a nurse and when was the last time you used? You mentioned it has been 10 yrs. If that is the case I wouldn't disclose anything at this point.

What is the purpose of the sessions? If what you say is true about not using in 10 yrs, it doesn't seem really necessary to disclose what you did 10 15 yrs ago.

[imanubee]

No, I'm not yet a nurse. I expect to graduate from an ADN program in May 2009. Its probably been 8-9 years since I last used. I credit meeting my current partner with motivating me to want to change. We have a great life and those cravings for an altered reality don't plague me like they used to.

But nonetheless, there are still times when I feel very down. The antidepressants have really helped. I was sexually abused as a child and I guess that did a number on me for years. I've never really discussed it and only recently told my mother. This person is still a very visible part of our family and it still haunts me. I guess that is the primary reason for therapy.

[BEDPAN76]

Imanewbee, Hi !! i'm getting ready to go to bed but just wanted to say.DO NOT DISCLOSE ANYTHING AT THIS POINT! Yes, it will probably come back to bite you. :icon_roll

[imanubee]

Thanks Bedpan! On the one hand I just feel like being open to discussing the past, but on the other hand, the thought of being penalized for the past is worrisome. So I'll just keep my mouth shut about that! :wink2:

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

There's a saying in recovery "you're as sick as you're secrets".

I'm not understanding the advice not to tell your therapist all about your past. You're not going to get well unless your honest. You're sexual abuse, drug abuse - i.e. self-medicated, and current depression might all be connected and needs to be brought out in the open and discussed.

If you can't be open with your therapist don't go and stick to the medical route and don't waste anyone's time.

Are you afraid your therapist is going to take what you tell her/him in confidence what you did 10 years ago and tell the Board of Nursing? Maybe you should be up front with your concerns - "there are some things in my past I'm afriad to reveal because because it might be used against me."

Good luck.

Kudos on all you've done so far.

[DLS_PMHNP, MSN, RN, NP]

I also am seeing a psychologist.

By LAW they cannot disclose anything you tell them unless it is an immediate threat to your health or someone else's (i.e. suicide, etc)

If your psychiatrist is the only one you have disclosed this to, I have a hard time believing this will 'bite you in the butt'

I'm glad you are seeking help. I recently starting seeing my psychologist over a month ago and it's one of the best decisions I have made.

Best to you!

Diane

[michigooseBSN]

I absolutely agree with Tweety. Why waste your time with a therapist if you aren't going to be open in your discussions. It's like going to a doctor and refusing to disclose symptoms or previous history. How can he/she help you? And if it does "bite you in the butt" you can sue for gazillion dollars. HaHa.

[Thunderwolf, MSN, RN]

As an ex-licensed counselor, I totally agree in that if you are not intending to open up and be honest in therapy, it is but a waste of time for you AND for your therapist. Life and time are too short for games. Therapy really needs to be seen as something valuable to you...because therapy works when you make it work, in partnership with your therapist. However, that is not to say that you need to spill everything all at once...but, you really need to be open to the fact that the therapist is there for you to help you work on your stuff...whatever it is. So, if you stay with therapy, you need to have some willingness to trust and share with that therapist...because if you don't, you are just short changing yourself.

Also, what is discussed in the office stays in the office. The exception to that rule is if you have a plan with intent to harm yourself or to harm another...then, confidentiality is broken surrounding that...a safety concern.

My best to you.

[MOMTOFIVE]

My midwife is on the board of nursing in my state, and she knows all my past behaviors and current struggle with depression. I asked her if this would somehow affect my ability to become an RN and she assured me that it would not. She said that unless I have a drug conviction or DUI I would be okay. I work as a psych nurse extern and I have asked at work and was told pretty much the same thing. I would worry about your ability as a nurse if you were not able to deal with these issues than if you had issues. And just think about what a valuable resource you will be as a nurse helping others who struggle with these issues. Hope this helps, Mindi