someone talk me out of this

essarge · Feb 10, 2003

I live off of my student loans and grants and have been doing ok. Granted money is very tight, but that's ok...it's peace of mind. I do have a few suggestions for you though. Ask around and see if anyone might need a room mate. If they have kids it would be great to exchange babysitting so you can get out once in awhile. Talk to your counsellor at school and see if they have any suggestions. Perhaps there are grants and scholarships that you are eligable for that will help. Finally, on some campuses, there is daycare available. This would free your parents up from having to "care" for your child while you are in school.

Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP!!! I did over 30 years ago and am finally (at 47) back at school working my butt off!! Do whatever you have to do to finish the program!

Best of luck in whatever decision you make!

Lausana · Feb 10, 2003

I can't really give too much advice without more details of what's really going on, but I'm gathering you moved back in with them, so I'm guessing this is a big change for you both. I agree maybe just sit down and have a frank talk about how you feel, from that maybe you'll know for sure what is best.

I'm sure they probably want to do their best to help you guys, but having extra people at home is just going to be stressful. Are you paying them rent or paying your own expenses for you and your child etc? They've given you a place to stay so what are you doing in return? That could appease them & give you a much more affordable route to finishing school. Starting out with no debt would be great! (And hey-start a countdown to when you graduate and can be on your own )

Good luck with whatever you decide!

cakarol · Feb 11, 2003

thanks ALL for the suggestions. I have actually been at home for about 3 years now and what is happening is something that is - well - lets just say something that i doubt is going to change.

i've decided for everyone the best bet it to probably just move. I am already working on the application process for the other program. The lpn porgram i am enrolled in is a vo tech program at a high school so a lot of the benefits of scholarships, financial aid, grants, on campus child care is not available.

But I've decided to apply for a 33 month RN diploma program where some of these options are available!

Another question though....what do you all mean you are living off of grant and financial aid money??? Do they actually also give money for living expenses in addition to tuition??? Where does one apply? Is it through the school or somewhere else? I guess I need to get off of here and start doing some research!!!!!

Thanks all again....the advice has really helped!

~Claire

leeca · Feb 11, 2003

Able you able to transfer through your school? That way you don't have to reapply.

l had the same problem as you with my parents and when my daughter was born l couldn't afford to feed her or buy nappies, as by then l had moved out of home, l had no job opportunities because l had no qualifications.

But finally now my daughter is 11 years l followed my dream and became a nurse, it was hard, finances etc, childcare for 2 children but l did it.

If you ask the counsellors at your school they should be able to put you in touch with the appropiate departments to give you financial and emotional assistance.

boggle, ASN, RN · Feb 11, 2003

Please check what support your school has to offer you. The local colleges around here have resource centers for women and non-traditional students (ie single moms and dads). Hopefully they can point you in the right direction for financial aid, child care, counseling, and other options to make your life bearable while you get your education.

good luck to you.

Debsdogs · Feb 11, 2003

cakarol:

I know it's hard on you and none of us can know the whole situation- but my advice is STAY IN THE PROGRAM!! I was at a similiar cross roads at about your age. Couldn't stand living with my parents so I moved my daughter and I out on our own. Now she's graduated and we're trying to go to RN school together. Sounds neat but we had a lot of really lean times in between. It's harsh out here without a real education. LPN will get you set.

What about family dorm housing or another student? I know it's an awful thought (someone gave me the idea years ago and I gasped in righteous indignation-now I wish I would have done it) but what about government housing? I know that sucks, but it's only for a few semesters. What about getting a counselor (on campus or not) (therapist etc) to help you an your family chill things out for the duration? And if all of this fails what about getting a script for valium and dropping in their drinks?? :-)

For your child and your own piece of mind girl...please stay in. I know over bearing parents can make life difficult but so can bills, insurance, doctor bills, and the guys who come to cut off utilities or collect rent money 'cause you don't make enough 'CAUSE you never got an education.

Further, and I hope I don't offend 'cause it's from a "takes one to know one" point of view ( in other words, BEEN THERE) I hear a tone in your post that suggests that you don't have control. You do you know? You have complete control over how they affect you and what you tolerate. I was 30 before I figured it out. Find a way to politely fight for what you want and DESERVE. Support from the people who love you and of whom you depend on while you go through this trying program. Get a counsler to help you figure out how to ask for this. (If you need one, that is, I did).

Bright blessings and best of luck,

Deb

nursbee04 · Feb 12, 2003

It's really easy for me to tell you to stick it out, its just 3 more months, but I'm not in your shoes. Plus I am sure the stress with nursing school is making the stress at home even more unbearable. My best advice to you is to try and check out all your options and weigh the pros and cons carefully. See if you can transfer or if you can get aid or something. I really do hope that you don't end up having to drop out-- you'll be in my thoughts...Good Luck!!

MidwifeWannaB · Feb 12, 2003

I know how you feel. I am 21, in my first semester of an ADN program, and have been living with my grandparents since July. Before that I was living in my own apartment and working part time while taking my prereqs. However, I knew I wouldn't be able to work at all once I started the program, and my parents couldn't afford to support me totally, so, here I am. Home sweet home. Living with my grandparents isn't so bad--they don't pry into my business and they're sweet, amazing, very generous people, but my house is 45 minutes from school, which is a pain.

I know living at home can be a real pain, but like others have said, try to figure out why the situation is so bad. If you and your kids aren't in any real emotional or physical danger, do what you can to stick with the program. Just do what I do: think "This may really suck now, but when I graduate, I won't have to EVER WORRY ABOUT IT AGAIN!"

God bless!

:nurse:

aimee

2banurse · Feb 12, 2003

Not being in your position with a child, the only thing I can really offer is a ((((hug))))) and a prayer.

In regards to the student loans and grants, since you are a single mom, you may have more options available that you know. Since you are applying for an RN program, check with the financial aid office in that school. You'll probably be eligible for multiple federal grants. Also, check about private scholarships and grants. Many schools have foundations that offer scholarships.

Have you gone far enough with your LPN that you can test for a CNA or Patient Care tech?

Living with your parents at any age is tough, and that has nothing to do with whether you love each other or not. I love my folks a lot, but I appreciate them more at a distance (even if it is only a short difference). You are the only one who can say when "enough is enough." Wishing you the best of luck,

Kris

amken · Feb 15, 2003

I lived with my mother for two years with my child and it was very hard at times, mostly when she was trying to tell me how to raise my child. There was no yelling , just her getting on my nerves all the time. I would whenever possible go visit other friends ( you said you have no friends.. meet some in class or something ) , go to the park, or just whatever I could come up with to get away from my mother at times. I knew that living alone was not an option during the two years, so I did whatever I could to stay sane and survive it. As long as you keep your head up and remember it will be worth it in the end ...go for it!!!!! If you start having major problems , then do what you have to do at that point. If you could even talk to them and see what is the source of all the bickering, it may turn out that it may get better while your staying there too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Luck...

renerian, BSN, RN · Feb 15, 2003

I worked and went to school with kids so I am not the one to direct you on how to live otherwise but let us know how your doing..

renerian

TX Guy · Feb 15, 2003

CAKAROL

I know there are programs to help you out.

Based on:

low or lack of income

marital status

being a mother

There are lots of grants, stipens etc. you can benefit from.

If you realy want to be a nurse you can do it.

Also I know of several people who work full time through clinicles,

and single moms with more than one child doing it!

I believe there are people on this board who have been in your shoes. Put in a search and see what you can find.

P