Im a mature (27) male student nurse in my first year of nursing (but have completed the australian CNA equivalent previously). As the thread title suggests, I am worried about my demeanour and the ability to efficiently communicate therapeutically.
I am introverted, though not shy and not prone to social anxiety but I find myself unable to "read" people effectively. I work well in groups but with a tendency to lead and I do not make friends easily and definitely prefer smaller groups or individuals than larger social circles.
I have been volunteering regularly at a homeless "soup kitchen" to give food and converse but I find I still only make a connection less than 50% of the time, small talk is awkward the rest of the time.
So I am asking if experienced nurses such as yourselves have perhaps seen those of my "demeanour" become fitted to the role as nurse? Can they gain the social intelligence required to proficiently build rapport with a patient? I want to help, but can I help if I am not a "peoples person"??
I ultimately want to go to a CCU/ICU setting.... but do not want to pursue it if it means my unresolvable inability to communicate gives the patient unease and they do not get the emotional care they need.
Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
I am worried about my demeanour and the ability to efficiently communicate therapeutically.
"Theraputic communication" is highly over-rated. Intensive care/Emergency may be excellent fits, since you do not have to have the long-term interactions that is typical med-surg.
Some patients need powder-coating and fluffed pillows. Some need a straight delivery, and intellectual more than emotional engagement. Practice (generally) will allow you to read your individual correctly and tailor your delivery accordingly.
I deal with the powder-puffers in the manner of an understated butler- quiet, unintrusive, supremely confident and anticipating their needs; all without chit-chat.
I have had someone who reacted with strong negativity to all the thera-comm received since his admission, a few days prior. He finally said, "You don't care about me, you're paid to do this!"
My response(paraphrased): "In all honesty sir, I don't know you well enough to care. I am paid to be professional. That is what I will be. If there is something that you need, please let me know. Unless you tell me otherwise, I will not disturb you, excepting absolute necessity."
We developed a friendly rapport- I didn't use reflective, "empathetic" crap, he could expect honest answers and all the help and resources I could find.
Yeah, small talk and 'reading' people comes with experience. And some people are better than others- the big thing is to just be genuine. Something I used for a while was a goofy animal clipped to my stethoscope. It was small enough to not be in the way, but always got a silly comment from the patient or the friends/family in the room. Sort of broke the ice:) I'm not saying to decorate your stethoscope, but even fun scrub tops, silly pens (oh yeah- people don't use them much anymore), or whatever can also help. Note what patients are watching on TV and ask about that....comment on get well cards, which is the one that made them smile the most, etc... Lots of little stuff to talk about. You'll get the hang of it :)
There are so many avenues to nursing. There are some areas that require more intuition than others. But for the most part, you learn so many skills in school that help you anticipate mentally "what to ask" the patients and family you have to deal with. You will be fine. Trust yourself and your passion to help others.
I am very reserved, but I communicate very well with my patients... just not small talk.
I am a keen observer of people which I believe is a direct result of being an social outcast as a child and adolescent. I was always looking in from the outside and never part of the action.
I never realized, until I was an adult, how valuable that experience was (though it was quite painful at the time).
While I may not be a "small-talk" person, I have a killer sense of humor to make up for it.
I think what I'm saying is, "social ineptitude" may be our weakness, but what is it we have to make up for it?
Mine is humor and being able to read people.
What is your strength??
At least give it a go and see what you can do with your strengths.
I am a new grad in ICU, and I would definitely classify myself as an introvert. I can be outgoing when I need to be (i.e. at work), but I definitely come home and want peace and silence after. I'm just one of those people who tend to find social stuff "draining", and I recharge my batteries at home with my family or by myself.
It definitely takes an effort on my part to start a conversation or speak up about certain things, but it's much easier now than it used to be. I'd rather speak up and ask a question than do something wrong, so I've gotten used to it.
I have found that it helps me to "plan" the social interaction aspect with patients. I know it sounds nerdy, and extroverts do this without thinking, but as an introvert, I quickly ponder how I will approach the patient as I am gathering supplies and whatnot. If it helps you, you can plan to talk about certain things with your patient that may help in your overall assessment ("Do you have family? Do you live alone or with others? What brought you into the hospital? How do you feel about being here? Are you anxious to get out of the hospital?") Some of these questions sound absurd, but they are really great information, especially when someone shocks you and says, "No, I am scared to go home because I don't think I can care for myself"....etc....then you can make appropriate referrals to case management or whoever. Once you begin to think of the social interaction as part of your assessment and not "small talk," it really does get better.
Best of luck to you; remember, introverts CAN be nurses (and good ones, too!)
Rob72, ASN, RN
685 Posts
"Theraputic communication" is highly over-rated.
Intensive care/Emergency may be excellent fits, since you do not have to have the long-term interactions that is typical med-surg.
Some patients need powder-coating and fluffed pillows. Some need a straight delivery, and intellectual more than emotional engagement. Practice (generally) will allow you to read your individual correctly and tailor your delivery accordingly.
I deal with the powder-puffers in the manner of an understated butler- quiet, unintrusive, supremely confident and anticipating their needs; all without chit-chat.
I have had someone who reacted with strong negativity to all the thera-comm received since his admission, a few days prior. He finally said, "You don't care about me, you're paid to do this!"
My response(paraphrased): "In all honesty sir, I don't know you well enough to care. I am paid to be professional. That is what I will be. If there is something that you need, please let me know. Unless you tell me otherwise, I will not disturb you, excepting absolute necessity."
We developed a friendly rapport- I didn't use reflective, "empathetic" crap, he could expect honest answers and all the help and resources I could find.