Single Moms-How do you do it?

[nkugrad1]

Hi....I'm new to allnurses.com and I'm looking for some advise.

I'm getting ready to re-apply to nursing schools. I applied 5 years ago but due to my pregnancy I had to put it off. Now that my daughter is 4 years old, I'm ready to switch careers

I'm 34 years old. I graduated in 1997 with a BA in Design. I'm a good designer but I've never felt like it was my calling. I want a more meaningful career. I enjoy taking care of children and enjoy working with the public. I debated between nursing and design when I was in college (I know it's quite a difference!) but ended up in design mainly b/c of lack of confidence. I look up to nurses and think they are amazing people. I just didn't think of myself being able to live up to that.

My life changed when I lost my Dad to brain cancer 7 years ago. He bounced from hospital to hospital, then a nursing home for rehabilitation (which was a joke) to finally a hospice. I spent most of my time taking him to doctor appointments and staying with him while he was in the hospital. I got to know a lot of the nurses. I watched what they did and asked them questions. My Dad was always trying to talk me into getting into the nursing field. Now he had me surrounded by nurses. He would ask them to talk to me about it. Most of them told me about how much they loved their job but it wasn't easy. After I lost my Dad I had a different outlook on what really mattered in life.

Anyway...that's my story. Now I'm a single mom of a four year old little girl who is my everything. I want what is best for my daughter. I don't want her living at a babysitter's house for the next two years. And I also haven't a clue how I'm going to pay the bills and go to school. But this career change could make our lives so much easier in the long run. And I could actual look forward to going to work everyday.

So many people tell me that single moms do it all of the time. But how??? I'm sure I can get enough grants and loans to pay for nursing school. But how can I work full time and go to school full time? I remember how hard it was the first time I went to college and got my BA in GD. I worked my way through school and it was very hard......but I didn't have any responsiblities like I do now.

There is a 16 week accelerated BSN program at the local university. I would also have to take about 6 classes of prerequisites. The director is recommending the I do the accelerated but I haven't a clue how I'm going to go to school full time, work only part time and have money to pay the house payment, insurance, utilities etc. There's just no way. On top of that where do I fit time with my daughter in?????

I called the local hospital and spoke to the Nursing director and she told me that if she was me she's get my BSN.....that I would be totally crazy not to. Every nurse says the same.....get your BSN.

I'm asking for your advise.....should I do this??? If so how??? I really want to be a nurse. I'm just scared to make the leap. I don't know if it's possible.

Thanks for your help!

[shoegalRN, RN]

Bless your heart!

I am a single mother of a 12 year old son and I'm also 34 years old as well. I will graduate in May with my BSN. I started this journey over 5 years ago and here's who I did it:

I worked full time and got my Associates of Science Degree completing all nursing pre-reqs. My job paid for it. I would take one science class at a time and two classes during the summers. I worked fulltime and attended school at night and on the weekends.

While I worked, I also saved up enough money to pay bills for an entire YEAR. I knew I wouldnt want to work the first year while in nursing school.

I also went to every open house for the nursing schools in my area. I learned alot from each one and this helped me narrow down the nursing school I wanted to attend.

I decided to attend a nursing school that would pay for my education, as long as I agreed to work for one of the hospitals in their network. This helped out alot, so I only took the government loans and scholarships and put them into savings for future living expenses.

I also was offered a generous voluntary termination package from my employer. I took it and used my severage pay to continue to pay for living expenses, and also still saving for future living expenses.

This took care of my 2 1/2 year commitment to nursing school as far as living expenses are concerned. I also picked up a job as a nurse intern at a hospital for the long breaks in between semesters.

I have a good family support system. My son's father is very involved in his life, although we are no together. He goes to school from his house Monday through Wed, I pick him up Wed evening after clinical, weekends, he goes to my parents, and I study all day Friday while he's at school, Saturday, and Sunday until I pick him up.

I spend all my school breaks with him. I also do not miss any parent/teacher conferences, and I am very involved with his homework, grades, and any extra activities.

When there is a will, there is a way. I will graduate in May and I'm going on a cruise to unwind and treat myself and my son for the last 2 1/2 years of our lives. You can do it!

[FutureNurseSaga]

LOANS, LOANS LOANS!!!

In respects to type of program you can to enter, you have 3 options:

Associate degree program

Bachelor program

Masters program

*there are also accelerated associate, bachelor, and masters programs.

From what I have heard, it is possible to work part-time while in the an associate or bachelor program.

As for the masters programs… I attended an open house at UMaryland and of the 4 CNL(masters) students who were there all said that they get by on loans and are not worried about paying them back because there are many hospitals that have loan-reimbursement

http://nursing.umaryland.edu/programs/ms/accel.htm

It all depends on how well you can manage time between school, work, and your daughter. I personally would rather take out a loan and not work so my time will only be for school and my daughter.

[LoveMyBugs, BSN, CNA, RN]

Establish a great support group of people you can count on. My mom is my main babysitter, then my sister, then my other sister, my dad, and then their former daycare provider

It took me almost 3 years to get my pre-reqs done, working and going to school.

Look into finainaical aid, and scholoarships, and loans. Plus check out what state services you would qualify for, like food stamps.

I am in my first quarter of an ADN program and have been able to work about 8 hours a week, and have been able to see my kids, I made it to about 90% of my oldest's soccer games, granted I had a book or flash cards with me and I only watched when he played, but I was there.

[nkugrad1]

So in other words I'm not going to be able to spend much time with my daughter for the next 2-3 years. That stinks.

It's hard enough to get my daughter's father to take her every other weekend so I'm not sure how much help he will be. Of course now he's all for me going back to school so I can get a better paying job. He says he will help but honestly I can't rely on him.

Right now I'm unemployed due to a layoff.....second time in 8 years. (Designers are always the first to go.) The economy is horrible and I can't find anything. I'm already in debt. My unemployment runs out in a few months. And I'm very stressed out.

I'm just scared that I'm going to get into school and realize that I'm not smart enough. I haven't taken anatomy or physiology. How hard is it? I haven't taken classes like that since high school and that was a very long time ago. I really think I will like working in the health care field. Espeically with children. My life experience alone will help me connect and help many people. I'm just scard to death of doing this.

[Keepstanding, ASN, RN]

sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders ! just keep on believing in your dream and you can do it ! we at allnurses

believe in you too ! :bowingpur

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

I've known some women who swallowed their pride and went on public assistance in order to go to nursing school. Otherwise their children would have suffered too much. I would advise looking into that.

[Jaybird310]

I have much respect to you for wanting to better your situation both for yourself and your child. I dated a single mom for over a year, would have married her but that another story. Anyway she was working full time and going to grad school full time. Her program was in education and not nursing though so it was slightly easier on her. She refused to go on public assistance so she lived with her parents and took out student loans to cover any extra expenses.

With nursing taking out student loans might be your best option because of the fact that many hospitals offer tuition reimbursement or a sign on bonus (I have seen hospitals that will give you both). It is possible and you can do it. And though you might not get to spend much time with your daughter while in school, she will understand and respect your choice once she gets older.