Single moms and every 3rd weekend

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I have been reading through old threads about single moms working weekends, but can't really find what I'm looking for. I'm a single mother to 3 young children. They go to their dad's house out of town every other weekend. Other than that, they are always with me. I'm a brand new RN and in my interview, I mentioned I needed to work every other weekend and not every 3rd weekend like the rest of the floor. I was told that wouldn't be a problem. I got my orientation schedule and I'm on every third weekend. I already have to pay someone to sleep over (it's a night position), and pay someone while I get sleep during the day, and now I'm going to have to pay someone for weekends too??? I can't just sit home alone while my kids are gone - I have to work while I don't need the child care or I'm never going to make ends meet. I emailed my manager at once and asked for clarification. I'm hoping it just the orientation that will be every 3rd, but it's a very long orientation, so I'm not sure how I'm going to manage the every 3rd weekend even for the duration of orientation. And I have no idea what I'll do if they say I can't work every other weekend going forward.

Any other single moms have problems like this? How do you manage every 3rd weekend when your kids are only gone every other weekend? I'm really worried now about how I'm going to manage this.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.

Ask the father to work with your schedule.

If everyone on your unit works every 3rd weekend, you also have to take into account that your wishing to work every other weekend would throw all the other RNs' schedules off.

At any rate, the manager shouldn't have made the agreement about your schedule that he/she can't keep.

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Specializes in ER.

People in our ER are usually assigned a preceptor who stays with them the entire orientation, so you are assigned to work their schedule. It may be that you need to adapt the best you can for the orientation period if this is the case. Once you are on your own, there should be no problem working more weekends that is required.

I agree about seeing if you can work something out with the kid's dad. Good luck to you.

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I'd have to get him to switch weekends with me once a month. He will not be into that at all. I always heard that nursing had these great flexible hours and wonderful schedules.... not so much. All I could get is nights which I never wanted, 12-hour shifts which I didn't want, and now every 3rd weekend, which seems impossible to manage. I guess I'm just a whiner, but I'm really disappointed to finally get out of school and have it be so difficult to work in this field.

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Specializes in Quality Control,Long Term Care, Psych, UM, CM.

I don't have any advice (sorry) but I do have to say nursing is one of the most family UNfriendly careers. When you're in school, they will tell you anything. I was a single mother back when I finished and it was extremely difficult. Almost every direct care job needs you to work weekends. There are no flexible hours and wonderful schedules in nursing. That's one of the many many reasons why I'm out of direct care.

I wish you the best and hope you can work something out that is beneficial to you and your kids.

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Have you ever considered home care? I am a mother and I work flexible hours between 8 am- 4:30pm. I work one Saturday every 10 weeks, and am on call 1 week a year! Sure, it doesn't pay as much as hospitals, but very family friendly. Something to think about. I LOVE being a nurse, but my family comes first. I feel like I have the best of both worlds.

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I'd have to get him to switch weekends with me once a month. He will not be into that at all. I always heard that nursing had these great flexible hours and wonderful schedules.... not so much. All I could get is nights which I never wanted, 12-hour shifts which I didn't want, and now every 3rd weekend, which seems impossible to manage. I guess I'm just a whiner, but I'm really disappointed to finally get out of school and have it be so difficult to work in this field.

Who told you that? About a hospital???? :eek:

If you worked home health, offices, etc- then maybe- -but you still have to work the hours the job requires (yes- I know the manager told you one thing, now another).

Best of luck :)

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I feel your pain! Have you gotten clarification yet? HOpefully if your manager said that you could work every other weekend, she will keep her word- but I would not expect your preceptor to pick up extra weekends to accomidate child care needs, as much as it sucks. :(

Does your floor do self scheduling? Will you be allowed to swap shifts once you're off orientation? There might be some nurses that would happily give you their obligatory weekend shifts for your weekdays.

I am a single parent as well and did my time working 3 12 hour shifts and it was not fun. I'm in a M-F, 8:30-5 position now which works out great with child care. I love the predictability, others hate it and say that they wish they could be home with their kids 4 days a week. It might take some creativity, but you will figure out a way to meet your needs.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I'd ask and see if this is just for orientation. Agree with the PP who said you may be working your preceptor's schedule for now, then once you're on your own every other weekend. While you're on orientation you are kind of at the mercy of someone else's schedule; I suppose you could work with different preceptors, but it's hard enough to precept under one person's style, much less two or more. I have done it - not easy. I know it's not the ideal situation, but you may have to tough it out for a few weeks/months.

Hoping you get the schedule you were promised once you're off orientation.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

At our hospital instead of every third weekend the requirement is 3 weekend shifts a month. However a lot of our staff members myself included like to work weekends because of childcare issues so we work almost every weekend. I work maybe one nonweekend shift a month. This allows people who do not like working weekends to not have to do so. All in all it generally works out however new grads are unfortunately at the bottom of the pile when it comes to getting their preferred schedule. With all the new grads looking for work you should be thankful for what you have.

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Have you ever considered home care? I am a mother and I work flexible hours between 8 am- 4:30pm. I work one Saturday every 10 weeks, and am on call 1 week a year! Sure, it doesn't pay as much as hospitals, but very family friendly. Something to think about. I LOVE being a nurse, but my family comes first. I feel like I have the best of both worlds.

I wouldn't mind home care at all. Or working in an office or something with kid-friendly hours... however, I'm being told that you need to have the experience and knowledge base before you will be successful in those types of jobs. I'm not sure if that's true, but it seems like a good idea to know what you're doing if you're by yourself in someone's home or if you're talking to a worried parent over the phone in a doctor's office.

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With all the new grads looking for work you should be thankful for what you have.

That's true!

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