significant other dont understand how stressful cna work can b

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I was just wondering if anybody else's bf/gf dont understand how hard cna work can b.. mainly in a nursing home. I take my job rather seriously but thats because i love what i do n i love my residents. I take pride in what i do and I'm willing to do anything for my residents. I dont mean to talk myself up or anything because i dont think I'm better than anybody but I'm a good cna. I know I'm a good cna because i know i do everything I'm suposed to do. But my bf wants me to get a different job.. a better paying job.. because i dont make enough. We've gotten into a few arguments about it because he doesnt consider my feelings about anything. I guess this is more on a personal note but just wanted to get somebody's outlook.. am i being selfish or is he?? inconsiderate maybe.. idk??:confused::confused:

I disagree. Men need more pampering? Is this 1955?

Her boyfriend is unsupportive- she feels like he doesn't listen to her or care about what she has to say. He gets after her to leave the job that's important to her for something that pays better, even though they're not struggling financially. He doesn't help out around the house or support any of her decisions. This does not sound like a loving, mutually beneficial relationship, and these are problems that cannot be glossed over by bottling up her feelings so he doesn't have to be "bothered" having to listen to her. If he feels like she isn't paying enough attention to him, he can be a big boy and talk to her about it rather than try and hustle her into getting another job (if that's actually the problem)! You would think most people would appreciate being with a caring, sensitive person but this guy is complaining about it.

I hear about men acting like selfish babies all the time and there's always someone there basically saying "boys will be boys." No... that's BS. There is no Magical Man Gene that excuses a grown person from being able to carry on like an adult.

I do agree that if she feels like they are living separate lives, then they should carve out time to connect and have fun with one another. But it's not all her responsibility.

Absolutely ! Personally, I prefer to be with a man, not a boy. Tell ya what, If I couldn't talk about my job with my partner I'd probably go completely off my rocker, you'd have to straight-jacket me and cart me off to the looney bin. If there's one job that needs a little TLC and compassionate support from a partner, it's being a CNA. :p

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lol trust me he gets attention.. thats not the issue at all. I try to do things with him when we both have the day off. n i do have to talk to him about what i do.. i dnt get specific but i bust my *ss every day im there n its jst a stress reliever to vent about it. thank u guys for the advice. i really do appreciate it. ive tried to talk to him about all this and he jst gets mad. im jst afraid its gonna come down to the worst thing.. we split up. weve been together off n on for 4 years now and ive given him so many chances.. n of course im not perfect but ive never done anything to hurt him in anyway. completely faithful even when we werent officially together. yall dont really kno the whole situation n im not gonna sit here n give u a big sob story lol but hes put me thru alot of bogus s***. n i still chose to stick by him.. so obviously i love him.. with all my heart. but i just wanted to get some opinions from other cnas whether or not i was bein selfish or if it was him. n honestly i think it is him. like i said im not perfect.. far from it.. but i have not one selfish bone in my body.. seriously. but clearly attention and 'pampering' just makes me laugh because thats not even close to the issue. im jst lost and confused right now.. dont know where were gonna end up and that kills me.. but i try not to let him see that. but i can only pretend for so long. thanks again ladies who actually know where im coming from. u made my night u really did. :up: i guess theres other men out there.. but i dont want anybody else.. never realy have to b honest.

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I disagree. Men need more pampering? Is this 1955?

Her boyfriend is unsupportive- she feels like he doesn't listen to her or care about what she has to say. He gets after her to leave the job that's important to her for something that pays better, even though they're not struggling financially. He doesn't help out around the house or support any of her decisions. This does not sound like a loving, mutually beneficial relationship, and these are problems that cannot be glossed over by bottling up her feelings so he doesn't have to be "bothered" having to listen to her. If he feels like she isn't paying enough attention to him, he can be a big boy and talk to her about it rather than try and hustle her into getting another job (if that's actually the problem)! You would think most people would appreciate being with a caring, sensitive person but this guy is complaining about it.

I hear about men acting like selfish babies all the time and there's always someone there basically saying "boys will be boys." No... that's BS. There is no Magical Man Gene that excuses a grown person from being able to carry on like an adult.

I do agree that if she feels like they are living separate lives, then they should carve out time to connect and have fun with one another. But it's not all her responsibility.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I am a male and I think you mean a spouse, or partner, in general. And I agree with what you have been saying.

For the distressed gal, try to think for yourself first, then him. Since God Forbid, things might change in the future. Again I think he needs to be a little more understanding (like you said as well) and you really need to talk to him and let him know what you really feel. This will come bite you later if his attitude doesn't change.

Best wishes to you and if you can afford the time and money, definitely look into relationship counseling.

Whatever decision you make, I'm sure you will try your best to make it work best for you. After, don't regret and move forward.

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My boyfriend definitely doesn't have a clue what it's like to be a CNA. Everyone I work with, myself included, would love it if our partners could shadow us for a day and see what it's really like. I

Seriously, NO ONE understands. I once had an acquaintance ask me, about my job (and yes, this is a direct quote. I hate this word and want to slap people when I hear it used in this kind of way)..."SO, you just hang out with retarded kids all day? That doesn't sound so bad..."

Yeah. They just don't get it.

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lol trust me he gets attention.. thats not the issue at all. I try to do things with him when we both have the day off. n i do have to talk to him about what i do.. i dnt get specific but i bust my *ss every day im there n its jst a stress reliever to vent about it. thank u guys for the advice. i really do appreciate it. ive tried to talk to him about all this and he jst gets mad. im jst afraid its gonna come down to the worst thing.. we split up. weve been together off n on for 4 years now and ive given him so many chances.. n of course im not perfect but ive never done anything to hurt him in anyway. completely faithful even when we werent officially together. yall dont really kno the whole situation n im not gonna sit here n give u a big sob story lol but hes put me thru alot of bogus s***. n i still chose to stick by him.. so obviously i love him.. with all my heart. but i just wanted to get some opinions from other cnas whether or not i was bein selfish or if it was him. n honestly i think it is him. like i said im not perfect.. far from it.. but i have not one selfish bone in my body.. seriously. but clearly attention and 'pampering' just makes me laugh because thats not even close to the issue. im jst lost and confused right now.. dont know where were gonna end up and that kills me.. but i try not to let him see that. but i can only pretend for so long. thanks again ladies who actually know where im coming from. u made my night u really did. :up: i guess theres other men out there.. but i dont want anybody else.. never realy have to b honest.

Sorry, but I was commenting based on what you post. So it seemed to me that maybe he was looking for more attention.

All I can say if that if this hasn't work for a while maybe is time to move on. You already spent 4 years with this guy and its not going anywhere. You can't love somebody that doesn't love you back. In order to love somebody you need to love yourself first, and how can you love yourself if you are putting yourself in this situation?

Maybe you both need to time to think about this relationship.

And yes, I agree with being able to vent to your husband/boyfriend about work, but you shouldn't make work your only conversation...

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Specializes in LTC.

The only problem I have with my husband is that he wants some fun time in the bedroom when I come home. I get off from work, and I just want to relax and he gets mad! Oh well! I just worked 12 hours he can get over it.

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The only problem I have with my husband is that he wants some fun time in the bedroom when I come home. I get off from work, and I just want to relax and he gets mad! Oh well! I just worked 12 hours he can get over it.

Cool to know I'm not the only one with that problem.......however my husband's usually just as tired as me because he also gets up at 4:30 am every day so he can drive me to work. (He's sweet that way.) CNA work can sometimes make you just too pooped to party, huh ? :yawn:

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Specializes in LTC.

Agreed, It really does!:)

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I'm going to be very vocal.

I just don't like the feel your post is giving me.

I think your boyfriend sounds like a fool.

You take care of the home and work hard and try to keep him happy.

You sound responsible and dedicated.

But it isn't enough for him, eh?

From what you say, he has no respect for what brings you satisfaction. And what brings you satisfaction is something that is so giving and hard to do... but you get out there and do it. And then you try to do the same thing at home, because you care.

You are a person that deserves respect... and someone who isn't a big selfish baby would be thrilled to have you in his life.

I've been there.

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