significant other dont understand how stressful cna work can b

yousoldtheworld · Apr 27, 2011

If you like your job and don't want to get a new one, don't. It's your life and no one has any right to tell you what to do. Money isn't everything. :)

jjic3982 · Apr 27, 2011

I don't know every detail of your situation, but obviously from what you heard, your bf needs to change his attitude and understand that getting a "better paying job" is easier said than done. I'm sure you guys are going through financial struggles, but he needs to learn to keep his head up and ENCOURAGE you.

Maybe I'm wrong but that's my opinion.

If you are struggling to pay the bills, are you job searching (for better opportunities)? If you are I hope he understands a little more!

asfreeaswelleverb · Apr 27, 2011

We really arent struggling that much. He has a good paying job but he feels like hes pulling all the weight. When really all he does is work.. he dont help out around the house or anything. Im just feeling a little underappriciated and it kinda feels like me and him are starting to live different lives. He doesnt understand anything about me and doesnt care about what i have to say.. but he 'loves' me. I just dont kno what to do anymore. He doesnt see what i do everyday. My residents request me to take care of them. He doesnt understand how much that means to me. Me n him have been thru alot together and im not about giving up but i can only take so much. Im not gonna sit around forever and wait for him to treat me the way i feel i should b treated. :confused: :crying2:

I plan to go to college in the fall and get a better paying job eventually but why should i try if he doesnt take me or my feelings in consideration. Im just sick of trying at something that seems to just get worse.

purplesteth · Apr 27, 2011

I feel for you. It's hard to comment on a situation when you don't know the people involved or the exact details.

I think you need to have a serious talk... what's the real issue here? You love your job, and that's important. And he needs to understand that. But is it really a money issue, or is it something deeper?

If it is the money...you say you're not really struggling much - do you really need to get a better paying job, or are there other expenses you could reduce as a couple (cable TV, shopping at a different grocery store, going out less...)

But it sounds like you need to have a real heart to heart, and find out what the real problem is, and where your priorities lie as a couple. It may even be he's not the right person for you... but only you can decide that.

Best of luck!!! :)

asfreeaswelleverb · Apr 27, 2011

I really dont know what the problem is.. he wont talk to me really. he works swing shifts so hes on a different shift every week which i understand how much he hates it because i wouldnt be able to do that. But unlike him i understand where hes coming from. He doesnt understand why i care so much about my residents. he says i have to big of a heart. i didnt know that was a crime.?? I care alot about them because i take care of them everyday.

Im in a situation right now, i dont have a car because some drunk driver hit it on the side of the road and totaled it. I was gonna get a new one but i wanna pay off my old debts first. Which that wont take me very long at all. Then after i do that i can get a car by myself i wont need a cosigner or anything. Im trying to do things the smart way but hes not backing me up on any of them. Hes suposed to be my partner in life right.. well seems like were not goin anywhere and i dont kno how much more of that i can take. i love him to death weve been thru alot of stuff but if he doesnt care then why whould i?? im just tired of feeling the way i feel all the time. and i kno i dont deserve it.

Jaquita · Apr 27, 2011

I know this is really off topic, but I cant figure out to to make my own post. Since you are already a CNA, I have a question. I have recently been offered a job as a CNA at a local doctors office. I have no experience and they will be training on the job. I will be enrolling into the nursing program this upcoming fall. My question is what is a reasonable salary for an unexpreinced cna?

fuzzywuzzy, CNA · Apr 27, 2011

I know this is really off topic, but I cant figure out to to make my own post. Since you are already a CNA, I have a question. I have recently been offered a job as a CNA at a local doctors office. I have no experience and they will be training on the job. I will be enrolling into the nursing program this upcoming fall. My question is what is a reasonable salary for an unexpreinced cna?

There's a blue button near the top left of the page above the list of topics that says "new thread."

There is also a search bar at the very top right of the page that you can use to look up one of the gazillion threads about salaries that already exist. If this doesn't work for you, there are at least 3 threads about CNA pay right here on the front page of the CNA forum. But based on the information you gave, no one will be able to tell you how much an "unexpreinced" CNA can expect to make anyway because it varies and we don't know where you live.

OP, I think you need relationship counseling. It's not cheap but it's not too expensive either. I've had to use it in the past when I was having issues with my longtime boyfriend. If you feel disrespected by your dude and you're unhappy but not willing to let go of the relationship then a counselor can really help. Ours helped us to clarify our problems and learn how to deal with them effectively, and things are great between us now.

My boyfriend definitely doesn't have a clue what it's like to be a CNA. Everyone I work with, myself included, would love it if our partners could shadow us for a day and see what it's really like. I cringe when he comes home whining about how hard his day was, and then it turns out it was "hard" because he didn't have time to sit around on facebook after lunch! It's like gimme a break! I don't even have time to pee!

cieloarge · Apr 27, 2011

Don't kill me for this...

Maybe he is a little too tired of listening to you about how much you care about your residents, maybe he wants you to pay attention to him, and this is the only way that he knows how to do it. Maybe he feels if you get another job you will shift your attention to him.

After many years with my husband, I came to understand that the only way a marriage/relationship can work is if BOTH of you put a little into it. Its not all about you, and is not all about him.

Once you get off work you should leave work out of your personal life. Don't talk about your residents to him (which you shouldn't anyways) and try to focus on your relationship with him. Find a commun ground where both of you have fun.

I am not saying this is your fault, but men sometimes need a little more pampering than we do. If, after you trying to make things better he still doesn't appreciate you, then you should really have a nice talk and see what you want to do with your lives.

interceptinglight, CNA · Apr 28, 2011

"He doesn't consider my feelings about anything." "He doesn't take me or my feelings into consideration." "He doesnt understand anything about me and doesnt care about what i have to say.. but he 'loves' me. " Well, this may seem an awful thing to ask you but......does he? You sound like such a sweet intelligent loving person and you deserve someone who doesn't accuse you of having have 'too big of a heart' or who will back you up when it sounds like you're trying to do the right thing.

I'm not suggesting anything other than opening up more communication between the two of you, find out if you have common goals. It sounds like his goal is to make as much money as possible, who cares if you like your job or not.....your goal is to feel deeply rewarded doing a job caring for people. Perhaps if he could just be patient with you for a while, you mentioned going to college to further your education so you could get a better paying job, I'm not sure if you mean nursing school or what.

I have a suggestion for you, friend: Whatever you do, if you go back to college or whatever, do it for yourself and your own life. If he doesn't care about your feelings or your heart, then don't go to college because he pressures you to carry more of the financial weight -- do it because it's good for YOUR life. If he REALLY loved you, he'd respect you for that and he'd support you. He wouldn't make you feel unappreciated.

Do not apologize for admitting that you deserve to be treated with kindness, consideration, and actual love. You'd think a man would appreciate a woman who is as unselfish caring as you !!! Have a really honest talk with him, give him a chance to prove that he really does care enough about you to work this out.....then make your decision what to do with your life after that.

This is all just my opinion. I'm fortunate to have a partner that understands my struggles and my heartaches as a CNA. He wants me to do anything I want to do in life, anything -- and he supports me in what I want. That's what you need, too.

fuzzywuzzy, CNA · Apr 28, 2011

Don't kill me for this...
Maybe he is a little too tired of listening to you about how much you care about your residents, maybe he wants you to pay attention to him, and this is the only way that he knows how to do it. Maybe he feels if you get another job you will shift your attention to him.
After many years with my husband, I came to understand that the only way a marriage/relationship can work is if BOTH of you put a little into it. Its not all about you, and is not all about him.
Once you get off work you should leave work out of your personal life. Don't talk about your residents to him (which you shouldn't anyways) and try to focus on your relationship with him. Find a commun ground where both of you have fun.
I am not saying this is your fault, but men sometimes need a little more pampering than we do. If, after you trying to make things better he still doesn't appreciate you, then you should really have a nice talk and see what you want to do with your lives.

I disagree. Men need more pampering? Is this 1955?

Her boyfriend is unsupportive- she feels like he doesn't listen to her or care about what she has to say. He gets after her to leave the job that's important to her for something that pays better, even though they're not struggling financially. He doesn't help out around the house or support any of her decisions. This does not sound like a loving, mutually beneficial relationship, and these are problems that cannot be glossed over by bottling up her feelings so he doesn't have to be "bothered" having to listen to her. If he feels like she isn't paying enough attention to him, he can be a big boy and talk to her about it rather than try and hustle her into getting another job (if that's actually the problem)! You would think most people would appreciate being with a caring, sensitive person but this guy is complaining about it.

I hear about men acting like selfish babies all the time and there's always someone there basically saying "boys will be boys." No... that's BS. There is no Magical Man Gene that excuses a grown person from being able to carry on like an adult.

I do agree that if she feels like they are living separate lives, then they should carve out time to connect and have fun with one another. But it's not all her responsibility.

cieloarge · Apr 28, 2011

All I am saying is that sometimes when we complain about our significant other we make it seem like the other person is the worst ever, I am sure that if he was really everything she says he is she wouldn't be with him, because there is no point.

When the relationship is in trouble is hardly ever one sides fault, it's a mutual thing, so i am telling her that maybe he needs a little attention. Not every person is a talker and not everyone is going to tell you what they need because they think you should know.

There is no thing as the perfect person. If she loves this guy and he loves her then they should be able to fix this... Sometimes you have to give first in order to get.