Sick of this


I'm sure everyone is tired of my venting already, but I don't have anywhere else to talk about this and I feel like I'm about to hit my breaking point. I've been back at the nursing home for over a month now and things aren't getting much better.

They put me back in the dementia unit and I am constantly getting picked on for being slower than the other aides (who have been there for years on end, mind you) and for spending too much time with the residents. My partner told me that I'm basically just supposed to go in their room, wipe their butt, and leave, and spend no more than 5 minutes tops. If I take a few extra moments to brush a resident's teeth or rub lotion on them, I am yelled at for "spending too much time on one patient." So, I stopped doing that and ever since have focused on only doing the bare minimum. Ever since she first complained, I tried REALLY hard to get my speed down and work as fast as humanly possible. Last night, I went into a resident's room to put her to bed; transferred her out of her wheelchair, cleaned her and changed her diaper, and put on a nightgown. This took no more than 5-10 minutes; 15 minutes TOPS. Yet, when I come out, the aide is STILL all "Still taking so long with the residents, I see?" Um, am I alone in thinking that 10 minutes in a resident's room to put them to bed is NOT that ridiculous? I mean, what more am I supposed to do? Then she criticizes me for being in a rush or missing some small step, well what do you expect to happen when you constantly get onto someone for taking so long?

I find working in this place just plain depressing. It's like most of the aides don't even view these residents as human beings, just as part of an assembly line. I see these aides routinely yell at the residents, throw them around, hit them, dry-shave them, I have even witnessed an aide threaten to break a resident's fingers. You might ask, why don't I report these aides for the things they do? Because these aides have been there for years on end and are supposedly the GOOD ones. All I have to say is... if this is what a good aide is, I don't even want to know what a bad one is like. If I tried to report them or get them in trouble, I'm sure I'd wind up being laughed out the building and the one retaliated against.

It's to the point where I feel like nothing I do is good enough, the thought of even going into work makes me sick and on top of that I am being seriously overworked. I have a fast food job that I work in the daytime and leaving that job just to go straight to the nursing home almost everyday is taking its toll on me mentally and emotionally. It doesn't help that I already suffer from major depression and have had to deal with several recent losses in the family. I want nothing more than to run far, far away from this place and never look back, but I can't. Why? Because I already did that once before, when I got hired at the group home and then they laid me off, so I re-applied to this place. The DoN reluctantly took me back when I told her I wouldn't just abruptly leave this time, I would stick it out. I can't leave again without looking REALLY bad. So basically, I'm stuck here now, no matter how miserable it makes me or how much I want out.

By the way, I don't know if I ever mentioned this before but the group home job actually called me a week after they laid me off to tell me they still wanted me to work PRN. This was after I'd already re-applied to the nursing home. So if I did leave this place, it's not like I'd be out a job: I'd still have my fast food job, and being PRN at the group home. But I'm still stuck because I made a promise to the DoN that I wouldn't leave. I wish to God I had never agreed to go back in the first place. I remember now, there was a reason I ran away from this place.

I mean, am I just being melodramatic here? In thinking that there's something inherently wrong in all this, that you're supposed to get in and out of a resident's room ASAP and giving them a little extra attention, brushing their teeth, etc. is considered an error on your part? I mean, I can understand if you're pressed for time or have something else that needs to be done, but if there IS time, I don't see the harm in spending a little extra time with the residents. Especially in the dementia unit, where we usually finish all our work at 8 and so there's just like 2 hours to do nothing but sit around basically, until we do our final rounds. I just don't know.


150 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics.

I just don't know what to do. I went into this field, CNA work, because I felt like I loved people and wanted to take care of them. But I don't see how I can even enjoy my job or feel like I'm helping people when I'm under constant pressure to be in and out a resident's room as fast as possible, lest I get yelled at. I mean, it's one thing having to work under pressure and time constraints in, say, a fast food job, when all you're doing is making food and pushing out orders. But when you're taking care of helpless people, I just find it extremely depressing. To me, it shouldn't be this way.

I liked the group home job so much more, even if it did have its share of annoying problems like a lack of supplies, at least they seemed to actually CARE about the residents and treated them as human beings more than just objects to be tossed around. I mean, when I first started this line of work, I went into it with the mentality that I would treat the residents how I would want to be treated, or how I'd want my family member to be treated. All I can say is... I would never ever in a million years want my loved one put in this nursing home. Nor I, though knowing my luck I'll probably be thrown in there when I'm old and helpless and left to the mercy of aides who'll hit me and threaten to break my fingers and whatnot.

Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student. Has 23 years experience.

It is your duty to report abuse. You need to speak with the DON about the abuse... and all the concerns you mentioned. I would stand up to those CNAs and tell them you don't have rush if your getting to all your residents and caring for them appropriately tell them to get off your back! Get some confidence and report the abuse to the state and the DON. These are the reasons nursing homes get bad raps. Not everyone of them is bad but there are some that are....stand up for yourself and for your residents. Also get ahold of the ombudsman. Maybe you are the person to get the ball rolling for a change concerning these residents. I'm praying for your situation.

allnurses Guide

Hygiene Queen

2,232 Posts


This really isn't about you.

This is about the residents that are being abused.

You are a strong healthy person who can fight for yourself.

These residents are vulnerable and helpless...

And they are being abused.

You need to report it, it needs to be investigated and someone has to have the balls to do it.

To turn a blind eye makes you a partner in crime, whether you want to be or not.

Report it.

I would also quit.

allnurses Guide

Hygiene Queen

2,232 Posts

Please check out The National Center on Elder Abuse website.


53 Posts

Has 2 years experience.

Turtlecat I have a question for you about this section of what you said,

" I am constantly getting picked on for being slower than the other aides (who have been there for years on end, mind you) and for spending too much time with the residents."

TurtleCat, I am in class to become a CNA and have never worked in a LTC yet, so please don't take this the wrong way because IM sure not judging you or anything but I wanted to ask you WHY DO YOU CARE so much about what the other aids think..? Is there something IM missing here? I mean are those other aids YOUR boss?


1,001 Posts

Wow I knew it was bad by you, but I did not think it was so bad that you were not allowed to brush their teeth. I learned that brushing teeh is part of EVERYDAY ADL's THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!!! I personally would start to look for another job, and then give your two weeks notice! You are not breaking any rules for yourself between you and the DON because you would be giving the correct amount of time and notice of your quiting. And if she gets upset with you you can be frank with her as to the reasons your leaving. Nobody should be working in a facility that believes that brushing a persons teeth is an extra duty. Just because you said you would not leave the same way you did before does not mean that you are in jail to this place.

Also agree with the others that these things sound like abuse and needs to be reported!

Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student. Has 23 years experience.

Also Turtle cat ....know that you can report to the state anonymously. Please make the call.


153 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics, Cardiology..
Also Turtle cat ....know that you can report to the state anonymously. Please make the call.

OP, you are a mandatory reporter. If you don't then you are just as bad. Contact the ombudsman and submit in writing to your DON right away. I'd also contact State and the department hotline number. These residents need you.


184 Posts

You need to report this ASAP. If I were to treat my residents this way, I would be fired on the spot. People have been kicked out of the facility I work at for less than this. It doesn't matter if these aides are supposedly the "good" ones or senior aides. If state were to see this sort of care, they could likely shut your facility down. Worse yet, a family could sue aides and the facility for not doing oral care. We had a family threaten to do that; we were overstepping their place but it was enough to get several staff members in trouble.


837 Posts

Don't reporting to the facility. Report to the state. What is happening is abuse.

Unless you signed a contract promising not to leave, then your promising means nothing. I would quit, and then report them.

Good luck.

Just like the others have said, you really need to report them. Don't let your sanity be the same price as your pride. If you feel like it's an unsafe situation for both you and the people you care for, you need to leave. I really do hope you can find a better working environment