Jump to content

how to shower women/men

Humor   (1,744 Views 6 Comments)
by 2ndCareerRN 2ndCareerRN (Member) Member

7,916 Profile Views; 583 Posts

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned

laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see your husband along the way, cover up

any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror

- make mental note must do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm

cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and

pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage

shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's

clean.

7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint

conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil.

Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial

scrub for ten minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and

Jaffa Cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make

sure that it has all come off).

11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving

bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the

toilet and you lose the water pressure.

13. Turn off the shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size

of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent

second towel.

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of

a zit, tweeze hairs.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing

gown and towel on head.

18. If you see your husband along the way,

cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge

of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your

wife along the way, shake wiener at her making

the woo woo sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror

and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no).

Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror...

scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you

don't use one).

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the

water just rinse it off.

9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the

shower.

10. Majority of time is spent washing your

privates and surrounding area.

11. Wash your butt leaving those coarse butt

hairs on the soap bar.

12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at

yourself in the mirror again.

15. Pee (in the shower).

16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail

to notice water on the floor because you left

the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole

time.

17. Partially dry off.

18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex

muscles, admire wiener size again.

19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath

mat on the floor.

20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.

21. Return to the bedroom with towel around

your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the

towel, shake wiener at her, and make the woo

woo sound again.

22. Throw wet towel on the bed.

bob

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

723 Posts; 10,852 Profile Views

LOL!!

22. Throw wet towel on the bed.

ON the wife's pillow sham, no less!

Love

Dennie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1,961 Posts; 10,561 Profile Views

:chuckle :rotfl: :lol2:

Yup! That sounds like us!

Heather

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

657 Posts; 4,810 Profile Views

have you been peeking in our house?

LMAO

thanks for the laff this morning...i needed it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

458 Posts; 7,304 Profile Views

Yes...the 'Woo Woo Shake' is a familiar occurance in my house as well.

What are they thinking?

Anne:lol2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×