Should I just quit?

[Noideanurse1, BSN]

I have been a nurse less than one year and have been at two hospitals. My first position was enormous, specialized and high acuity, 5 patients and often, 1 tech on shift. Trainers were impatient, belittling to new grad and too busy for teaching. I was alone for a whole shift by my 4th one, overwhelmed, and had little to no direction. I was terrified of making a mistake. I began having panic attacks and did not want to continue on there. Was mutually decided with management that I find a different path. 
 

After I went to a med surg unit, assigned 5-6 patients and did well for a while. Acuity levels were rising and my assignments seemd extremely difficult, almost every shift. I never sat down, was always behind and noticed other nurses and tech having time to sit, chart and chat...again, most nights. I walked around for 12-14 hours non-stop and currently have shin splints.
I was in the military and no stranger to hard work...I actually enjoy it. But not when it feels unsafe for me or my patients. 
 

Most shifts I was overwhelmed and was very vocal about not being able to handle it. I'd felt with senior staffs harassment many times, and also brought it up to leadership. A shift with a charge who snapped at and ignored me when I asked for help, doesn't like me, I'm pretty sure. That's fine, but I don't take lightly being disrespected or retaliated against. One patient was experiencing symptoms mines not comfortable with and not able to give the proper attention to due to my heavy assignment. I had them assessed by MET nurses and they were upgraded. 
 

my charge was mad I didn't tell her I'd callled them. I didn't know I was supposed to. Snapped at me and left. I was behind, informed her at the beginning of the shift, and she interrupted me and belittled me for not saying what I needed and had the most aggressive expression and tone of voice all night.  

following the upgrade that room was cleaned and turned over quickly and I was given another patient, faster than I'd ever seen on that unit. 
 

I am slow at charting, and have anxiety, but I am always there for patients and staff, have excellent patient care and care about others! Im a combat veteran and no stranger to hard work or difficult situations. I have noticed though, my assignments are very heavy and it feels personal. I was so taken back by the aggressive reaction to me asking for help...had me in tears more than once, while trying to manage more than I could and much I didn't know how to.
 

I'm always behind, and stressed...I feel like I'm a horrible nurse. And I feel so alone there...was making my anxiety worse. I met with upper management to address the aggressive and harassing behavior of several senior staff members and the behavior of my charge that night. One nurse harassed new grads daily, humiliated them in front of patients, demanded perfection in report but left a mess for others.  Another  charge said to me...I was too dumb or stressed to keep up...I wasn't going to be supported if I made an error.  

I was terminated after (I imagine) the charge was talked to and informed of it as I was getting ready to go into work. I have too many call outs, but an equal amount of occurrences as other nurses do. I was fired though, for my attendance. 
I think it's bc I started to get loud about the mistreatment and bullying there and I kicked a hornets nest. I got stung. 
 

I am relieved to be out of that toxic environment but scared about my track record as new grads and less than a year under my belt. 
I can handle stress, but not as a nurse with a team that will leave you when you're asking and needing help, and retaliates against you for doing so. I won't. 

I'm not the only one who felt this from her or saw what happened that night. I feel like I became the scapegoat once I began reporting events.
I have a lot of improving to do, have anxiety and PTSD, admittedly. This felt personal though and I won't work with people who treat me like that or who are capable of standing and watching someone struggle and puts patients in danger. 

What do I do now? 

[Noideanurse1, BSN]

I know it sounds like a lot of complaining. There was so much that happened I would have to write a novel to explain it properly. I feel sick to my stomach atm with it all. There is a mean girl vibe that I don't understand, don't care really. I'm there for the patients and fellow nurses. I couldn't not t say anything about what was happening. Feel like a failure and I've tried so hard to get here