Should a dad be in the room?

RNLaborNurse4U · Jul 6, 2005

When I was talking on the phone with her today, she told me that her father has asked to be in the room when she delivers. I was a little taken back and I tried not to force my opinion on her but I would NEVER want my father to be in the room when I was giving birth. Am I overreacting? Is this normal?
She told me she wasn't 100% comfortable with him being there but I think she feels obligated because they are close and she will be living in there house after the baby is born and she will need financial assistance from them and she didn't want to strain their relationship so close to this important event.

It's up to each individual birthing woman as to who she wants to be present at the birth of her child. I have taken care of women who have had their father present for their delivery, and I have also taken care of women who wouldn't even think of letting their father be present.

It's a personal choice, and I respect each and every woman's right to make that choice.

Jen

L&D RN

NurseforPreggers · Jul 6, 2005

If she isn't 100% comfortable with it then she shouldn't do it. She should discuss it with her father and let him know where she stands. I personally can't imagine a dad wanting to be in the room, but thats just me.

ftr_bb_catchr · Jul 6, 2005

Well I for one would have loved my father to have been there.... just so he could see it (since he wasn't there when I was born), but my dad is terrified of hospitals and barely came after the kids were born. My best friend's dad however, WAS in the room when all three of her babies were born. He sat in the corner (not in her crotch) and he cried the whole time. I was there as well and I must tell you I was very moved by his reaction to the miracle that is birth. He certainly gained a newfound respect for both his daughter and his wife.

BUT.. that being said, if she doesn't want him in the room, she shouldn't have him in the room. It's HER birth, not his, and in the long run he probably wouldn't really care anyway.

tamrnmomof4 · Jul 6, 2005

Just my opinion but I think the grandfathers (of the new baby) wanting to be present in the delivery room were probably there when thier own children were born. I get really upset when a nurse passes judgement on who should be there, and believe me some do. Of all of the deliveries I have done with grandfathers in the room all were in a corner and not at the bottom of the bed. I say if both are comfortable with it than go for it.

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 6, 2005

It's up to the birthing mom and her significant other.

amber1142 · Jul 6, 2005

When I was talking on the phone with her today, she told me that her father has asked to be in the room when she delivers. I was a little taken back and I tried not to force my opinion on her but I would NEVER want my father to be in the room when I was giving birth. Am I overreacting? Is this normal?

It's her birth. I think a woman should be allowed to have (or not have) whoever she wants with her when she gives birth. Period.

stidget99 · Jul 6, 2005

My dad was in my delivery room w/ me. Now my situation was slightly different as he was blind. But he thanked me over and over for allowing him to be in the room when his granddaughter was born.

June55Baby · Jul 6, 2005

When our daughter had our first grandgirl, I had been holding one leg and her husband the other. My husband came to check on me and saw we were all tiring out, so he stepped in and got close to her ear and began encouraging her to push. Soon our grandgirl was born! Our daughter said she could never have made it without her daddy there encouraging her.

By the time her 3rd was born, 4 years later, we were all in the room. This time "grandad" sat to the side, near our daughter's head holding the two other girls as our 3rd grandgirl was born.

Neither time did he see anything inappropriate and his presence was very welcomed by all!

I agree with the posters who say that its the mama's call!

rpbear · Jul 6, 2005

My dad was in the room when I had my daughter and he has such an incredible bond with her. I loved the fact that both of my parents were there to share this moment with me and my husband. My dad even went with me to birthing class when my husband was out of town (got lots of strange stares until I introduced him as my dad) It is totally up to the birthing mom. You should respect her wishes and what makes her feel comfortable.

GARNPEACH · Jul 6, 2005

I am respecting her wishes, which is why I didn't give her my opinion today. I let her talk and I offered to speak with her mother if she wanted me to. She expressed to me today that she didn't "really" want her dad in the room but she didn't want to hurt his feelings. She is young and scared and (I feel trying to make everyone happy). She has said to me in the last few months that she isn't comfortable breast feeding in front of her father. I can't imagine giving birth will be much easier. As everyone has said(and I AGREE) this is not my decision. It is nice to hear that people can have their father's in the room and make it a comfortable experience.

Princess74 · Jul 6, 2005

I think its a great idea. As long as the patient doesn't mind why should anyone else.