She called my MOTHER!!!

[AngelfireRN]

Admin- no Facebook, please.

Just to preface this, this is family, so no HIPAA breach.

I am in my late 30s, a Nurse Practitioner, and I own my own clinic. I have been open a couple years in my present location and I bet I have one y'all have never heard before.

The vast majority of my family area great, come in for visits (or I do make house calls) and we go on our merry way. Then others come in with the 'I don't want to sign in, I just want her to take a look at this'. In other words, angling for a free visit.

This particular family member has attempted several times to come in clinic after hours, going so far as to have her young granddaughter beat on my front door whilst she beat on the side door and then tried to blast past my nurse when we opened to see what on Earth was going on. She has come to my house and tried to come in the bathroom where I was TAKING A BATH, but my husband succeeded in stopping her.

Most recently, she brought in the aforementioned granddaughter, who I can not see because reasons. I personally have no issue with seeing her but insurance says otherwise. The child suffered some trauma several weeks ago and has not been evaluated since that time. When we advised my family member that we couldn't see the child (I felt testing was needed that I would not have been able to order because I am not the assigned health provider) she flew mad and started screaming 'I just want you to look at her and see if she needs something done!!!'

I reiterated my opinion 3 times, and was met with 'I ain't TAKING her there!' in reference to the assigned medical provider. I explained why I could not treat sufficiently but she was having none of it. Dragged the poor baby out of the clinic and said she'd 'take her somewhere'.

I calmed myself down and went on about my business but when my Mama dropped my child off later in the evening, she asked about it.

Yeah, this crazy train CALLED MY MOTHER TO TATTLE ON ME.

I can't even, I mean, who even THINKS that that is even an option, let alone an ok thing to do?!?!?

Anyone have anything similar that they have dealt with? I'm just floored. Again, nobody was seen and no care assumed so no HIPAA involvement.

[Neats, BSN]

It sounds like you have an out of control patient but you need to have boundaries as well. This patient is familiar enough with you to know your mother and called her. I would sit down with this person with a witness when they are at next scheduled appointment or when they come pounding on your door and let them know you can no longer take care of them for the following reasons. Then list the reasons to include the need for referral to mental health. This person knows your weaknesses and manipulating you. You are placing yourself in a position that can easily turn against you.

You would not do this with a patient whom you only had a professional relationship with, why would you do this is familiar family/close friends. I would stand firm, let them know in an emergency you will respond but they need to find a different provider. Stick to your guns on this. If you do not do this, then part of the ongoing issues would be your responsibility.

Lastly and I mean no disrespect I do not get a kick out of things like this. This is passive aggressive behavior. We develop these patients and we need to stop. We need to stop catering to patients and give what they really need... good competent healthcare services that equip them, and train them in self sufficiency. People do not change and when this person goes to another provider most assured they will eventually be the demanding patient they were with you (part of what you have allowed to develop), I feel for the new provider and my hope is they have great boundaries. They will eventually leave for another provider. Their care is now fragmented and they truly run the chance of falling through the cracks.

Competent medical care with tough compassion. Truths hurt, you can be assertive yet come across as caring. We sweep a lot of patient issues under the rug because we do not want to hurt the patients feelings, this is not the way to practice healthcare... Maybe this is why I am no longer a manager I will say what needs to be said or ask the tough questions that nobody wants to ask (in a nice way) I most certainly would not get my star rating.

[broughden]

Im going to say the same thing here I just said in another thread...I dont understand how or why some people let others walk all over them likes this. So what if she's family? She is abusing you.

Tell her she is no longer welcome at the practice and if she shows up again you will have her cited for trespassing.

Why would you let someone treat you this way?

Lastly and I mean no disrespect I do not get a kick out of things like this. This is passive aggressive behavior. We develop these patients and we need to stop.

^This. 100% agree.

[KatiejonD, RN]

I might be the only one with this opinion, but if I were in your shoes I would file charges against the woman and inquire about a restraining order. It sounds like she's unstable and impulsive - and she could drag you down out of spite.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

It sounds like you have an out of control patient but you need to have boundaries as well. This patient is familiar enough with you to know your mother and called her. I would sit down with this person with a witness when they are at next scheduled appointment or when they come pounding on your door and let them know you can no longer take care of them for the following reasons. Then list the reasons to include the need for referral to mental health. This person knows your weaknesses and manipulating you. You are placing yourself in a position that can easily turn against you.

You would not do this with a patient whom you only had a professional relationship with, why would you do this is familiar family/close friends. I would stand firm, let them know in an emergency you will respond but they need to find a different provider. Stick to your guns on this. If you do not do this, then part of the ongoing issues would be your responsibility.

Lastly and I mean no disrespect I do not get a kick out of things like this. This is passive aggressive behavior. We develop these patients and we need to stop. We need to stop catering to patients and give what they really need... good competent healthcare services that equip them, and train them in self sufficiency. People do not change and when this person goes to another provider most assured they will eventually be the demanding patient they were with you (part of what you have allowed to develop), I feel for the new provider and my hope is they have great boundaries. They will eventually leave for another provider. Their care is now fragmented and they truly run the chance of falling through the cracks.

Competent medical care with tough compassion. Truths hurt, you can be assertive yet come across as caring. We sweep a lot of patient issues under the rug because we do not want to hurt the patients feelings, this is not the way to practice healthcare... Maybe this is why I am no longer a manager I will say what needs to be said or ask the tough questions that nobody wants to ask (in a nice way) I most certainly would not get my star rating.

I don't think you get it.

There are two reasons I feel the need to respond to this post.

1. You do not informally or formally refer a patient to mental health for being angry or unreasonable with you.

2. The OP is not responsible for the patient's behavior in any way.