sexual jokes in the workplace

Nurses General Nursing

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I'm all for having a few good laughs at work, but I'd like an opinion on this. We have a new male RN and he frequently makes comments that can be taken sexually. He has been there less than a month, so we don't even know him yet, and last Saturday he commented to one of our new grads who was about 15 min. late to work (car trouble), "Well I guess your husband detained you in the bedroom this morning, huh?" she laughed it off & seemed unoffended by it, but a couple of us found it inappropriate. Our charge nurse told us that unless the person he directed his comment to found it inappropriate that we should ignore it. ???? No matter how I look at this, it seems unprofessional to me!! comments??

Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.
I guess my point is that although I consider my self a respectful gentelman in every since, I'm smart enough to know there are plenty that aren't! I also know that I like to work, laugh, have fun and be a professional in a coloful environment with colorful people who aren't afraid to express themselve for fear of the self appointed PC police! It sure beats the "sterile", "clean room" environment that these thinned skined, self appointed, saviors of the nursing profession would like to see. People are just people and they come it all types and I prefer that to the rubber stamp robots some prefer. But, that's just me and I'm kinda the rebel type.:monkeydance:

I am no savior, nor am I thin skinned. But when I am at work, I am 100% professional. If you think I am a robot, that is your opinion. I'm proud of the type of nurse I am. Sexual jokes have nothing to do with being politically correct. PC is a term used for derogatory remarks, not sexually explicit remarks. So you are not knocking big brother to fight for the right to be "colorful", you are fighting for the right to be crude, innappropriate, and unprofessional. Be careful what you wish for. I'm not trying to be rude, just stating my opinion on the matter.;)

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.

Before I get slammed, I am a professional nurse.

What do you mean by this exactly? Aren't all nurses professional nurses?

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.
If I work so very hard without ANY fun, then that is a job I do not enjoy. It is also an enviroment I do not care to work in.

If you were looking for a fun job, maybe you should have joined the circus.

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If you were looking for a fun job, maybe you should have joined the circus.

There has to be an element of fun in any job or it will not be enjoyed and will be just that: a job. I have fun at my job too, and the ER is not a place where laughter is envisioned. If I didn't have fun with my coworkers in a place like ER I would be downright depressed. If the people working get along well, have similar senses of humor, and are not offended by things that are said, there's nothing wrong with inuendos. Once one person becomes uncomfortable, though, then it becomes offensive and harassing. The trick is always being aware of the people within earshot and of their reactions, and acting accordingly.

And there's nothing wrong with being totally professional and keeping the jokes to a minimum too. If I worked with you, knowing how you feel, I would watch what I say around you and respect your feelings, but if I joked with other nurses would that make me unprofessional?

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Specializes in ER.

Well said, and probably what I was trying to say in the first place. It just kills me that you allways have that 5% that get offended about this or that and suck the life out of the place. What's funny is they go home and sit alone in a house full of cats and wonder what's wrong with my life? Your:welcome:

There has to be an element of fun in any job or it will not be enjoyed and will be just that: a job. I have fun at my job too, and the ER is not a place where laughter is envisioned. If I didn't have fun with my coworkers in a place like ER I would be downright depressed. If the people working get along well, have similar senses of humor, and are not offended by things that are said, there's nothing wrong with inuendos. Once one person becomes uncomfortable, though, then it becomes offensive and harassing. The trick is always being aware of the people within earshot and of their reactions, and acting accordingly.

And there's nothing wrong with being totally professional and keeping the jokes to a minimum too. If I worked with you, knowing how you feel, I would watch what I say around you and respect your feelings, but if I joked with other nurses would that make me unprofessional?

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There has to be an element of fun in any job or it will not be enjoyed and will be just that: a job. I have fun at my job too, and the ER is not a place where laughter is envisioned. If I didn't have fun with my coworkers in a place like ER I would be downright depressed. If the people working get along well, have similar senses of humor, and are not offended by things that are said, there's nothing wrong with inuendos. Once one person becomes uncomfortable, though, then it becomes offensive and harassing. The trick is always being aware of the people within earshot and of their reactions, and acting accordingly.

And there's nothing wrong with being totally professional and keeping the jokes to a minimum too. If I worked with you, knowing how you feel, I would watch what I say around you and respect your feelings, but if I joked with other nurses would that make me unprofessional?

I'm with you! I had a hilarious ER nurse during clinical and if it wasn't for her earthy sense of humor and color commentary, between the "products of conception" sitting in a jar next to the phone and catheterizing the 98 year old Gypsy lady with tattoos all over her face, I might have had nightmares that night and for a long time to come.

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I think ER nurses have the wackiest senses of humor because we need it to survive what we see! My daughter, who wants to be a nurse, totally understands what I say and laughs her head off, but Hubs and my son think we've lost our minds.

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a crude or off-color sexual comment is no worse than the same person going on a slew of profanity within earshot of others. It's not professional and does not belong in the workplace, period, despite who the comment(s) may be directed toward.

There's always the situational times in life. This new male RN the OP mentioned who made the off-comment from a psychological standpoint may just be trying to fit in, and his method of small chat and trying to incorporate into his new work surrounding is something he lacks tact in.

I'm one for a joke and seldom offended (the exception is if someone takes God's name in vain, I will be offended there and say something). The world nowdays gets so politically correct it's ridiculous. Years ago, subjects which were taboo to even mention (such as sexual preference ie. straight, same-sex couples, etc) are expected to be openly accepted, yet someone having a bad day can go a sexual harassment suit?(rhetorical, not really looking for an answer to that subjective comment of mine). I live and work in a "right to work" state; and depending which side of the fence you are sitting on is either to your advantage or disadvantage. An employer could easily let a person go without a 'good' reason simply because they don't like the color of the persons hair, of course those situations are disguised as not meeting standards, etc. In RTW state situations, I speculate that harassment and sexual based consequences actually depend on the person guilty of such - if it was someone they were looking to let go, it makes a convenient termination excuse. I think most of us have seen the injustice in the world where people are in job positions that don't belong there, but due to politics and countless issues, can get away with one thing that the next person cannot.

Jokes, gestures, etc. come down to situation, place and timing. I would define true harassment as a form of bullying. We all make mistakes, say things we wish we hadn't, but one needs to be the bigger person, speaking up and let the other party know when they are offended. It's went the offender keeps offending after being asked to stop the inappropriate behavior where I say it would be defined as harassment.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.
Once one person becomes uncomfortable, though, then it becomes offensive and harassing. The trick is always being aware of the people within earshot and of their reactions, and acting accordingly.

But this is where the problem lies: how do you know that you haven't offended someone? Just because some people are not assertive enough to speak up, doesn't mean that they don't feel uncomfortable. I do agree with you, though, that there has to be something fun about work or it wouldn't be enjoyable. Lord knows we have to step back and cut up once in while to deal with the stress, but why is it okay for the fun to have anything to do with sex jokes? There are a million other things to joke about that won't offend someone that may walk by when you weren't expecting them. ;)

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Specializes in Peds, GI, Home Health, Risk Mgmt.
I don't think it was inappropriate. It was something I could have maybe said. I don't think it was sexual harassment either.

Before I get slammed, I am a professional nurse. I also enjoy camarderie at work with my peers. If I work so very hard without ANY fun, then that is a job I do not enjoy. It is also an enviroment I do not care to work in.

It's unfortunate that some reading this thread are having such a difficult time grasping the concept that it DOES NOT matter if YOU personally are not offended. If someone who hears the comment is offended, it is an inappropriate comment that can give rise to a hostile work environment.

Does that mean you can never kid around at work? No, it means you need to think before you utter something inane or "clever." As a rule of thumb, you should avoid comments about politics, religion, and sex unless you're having a one-on-one conversation (not overheard by others) with someone you know won't be offended by what you're saying.

HollyVK, RN, BSN, JD

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.

If I worked with you, knowing how you feel, I would watch what I say around you and respect your feelings, but if I joked with other nurses would that make me unprofessional?

Not at all. Joking is not unprofessional. It's the content of the joke that makes it unprofessional. Certain things should be off limits. ;)

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.
It just kills me that you allways have that 5% that get offended about this or that and suck the life out of the place. What's funny is they go home and sit alone in a house full of cats and wonder what's wrong with my life?

You don't know me and you have no right to make such a generalization. Just because I don't think people should be forced to hear sexual innuendos and sex jokes at work does not mean that I don't find them funny myself. I just want to have a work environment that is comfortable and safe, not hostile. YOU DO NOT KNOW who could be offended by an off color remark, so why take the chance on making someone uncomfortable. Everyone has the right to go to work and not have to fear that they are going to have to be disgusted by a potty mouth. I find your comment very rude; at least Tazzi got the same point across without being mean.:trout:

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