Seasoned Nurses Make Me Feel Incompetent

[darren_callcareer18]

Hello,

I have been a member here since 2008. This forum helped me alot in terms of learning and advices. I am here again just to try to get this off my chest.

I just recently joined an specialized area as an RN. I've been here for 5 months now. During my stay here I felt like everybody is trying to prove that they are smartest and that new people are incompetent.

Senior nurses always point to me things that I havent done correctly. I mean it is okay but atleast mention my strong areas as well? They always make me feel like that I am incompetent and doesnt know what I am doing.

For instance this morning, I told the MD that this is what I have assessed to the patient, but this senior nurse, interjects and told the MD saying “sorry this patien’s pupils is larger on right not on left” but when the MD assessed it they found out that I was right.

Same senior nurse before I go home asked me what is your background? I feel like I am incompetent and not welcomed in this unit. 

They always make me feel like everything that I was doing was all wrong. ?

 

[JKL33]

Why would you feel like everything you are doing is all wrong, when the example you gave is of one of these busy-bodies being the wrong one?

You need a different perspective! ?

These people have some insecurities of their own; they've got their own problems which have nothing to do with you. I would ignore them as far as their interjections and criticisms, and try to be pleasant/professional with them as much as possible. Very often people like this will get bored if you don't play their game. And, not rarely they decide the person they unsuccessfully tried to pick on isn't so bad after all. This whole big old thing is about them, not you.

If you're not hearing from management that you have significant deficits then just carry on.

[DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN]

On 11/3/2021 at 7:47 PM, darren_callcareer18 said:

Same senior nurse before I go home asked me what is your background? I feel like I am incompetent and not welcomed in this unit. 

Tell her your  background is one where you learned the difference between left and right!

This sounds like bullying. As the previous poster said, don't play their game. Be professional and polite. Do your work. They may well back off, however if they don't you need to take action. Document incidents for yourself just in case. 

You've been qualified many years right? So if you were incompetent it would have shown up before now. This is not about you. This is about their insecurities. Nurses who try to constantly show off how much they know usually don't know  very much.

You might mention to a superior how you're very eager to learn but you don't feel that the unit has particularly positive teaching tools in place? Is there a more sympathetic member of staff you could approach?

Good luck.

[Davey Do]

Sometimes such behaviors from seasoned staff is just a right of passage for new kids on the block. You know, scrutinize the new kid and test his mettle.

Other times, these behaviors are a result of low self esteemed individuals attempting to get a fix and feel better about themselves for a little while by putting others down.

Regardless of the rationale for the behavior, it is we who are responsible for how we feel and the manner in which we react. Our happiness need not to be dependent upon how others behave toward us, our true happiness is a result of being at peace with ourselves.

Harmony with those with who we work is an ideal environment. However, there's almost always at least one bad apple in the bunch and it's up to us if we allow it to spoil us. Positive coping mechanisms and learned techniques to deter aberrant behavior will go a lot further in our lives than merely blaming others.

I've had a few positions where I was put down and/or harassed where implementing those mechanisms & techniques buoyed me through troubled waters.

The best to you, Darren!