Here are a few of mine:
Note: Is this student pregnant? Student looks to be 6 months pregnant.
Family calls to get free eyeglasses? Student has non-prescription colored contacts in her eyes when I screen her.
Teacher just came from ear doctor yesterday and has prescriptions and wants me to check her ears with otoscope.
P.E. teacher shows me tiny rash under his eye and wants to know if it's staph.
Frequent clinic visitor (middle school) pretends to vomit in the bathroom and has crumbled a granola bar in the toilet when I ask for proof.
The overbearing mother that works for law firm at home with epiletic student at middle school who demands that Exit Signs, ALL Student's planner front covers be removed (800 students) and laser pointers not be used by teachers because it might trigger a SZ, but student plays with Playstation 2 on large projector screen at home. And teachers flood my clinic for answers because she might take their teaching licenses. And student comes everyday to lay down in my clinic and pretend to SZ whenever a teacher makes him mad. And mom comes running crying wolf and says what teacher did this today baby? I hear him tell mom, I want to get her in trouble, I don't like her. (I no longer work there)
Parent RN that wants me to do head-to-toe assessment on her anxiety/bipolar son on every clinic visit and email her my results because that's what I'm being paid for. (I no longer work there)
The student that tells me he was jumped on his way home yesterday and has a bruise on shoulder. But after his mom is called he tells me the bedroom chest fell on him while rearranging his room. He said he was embarrassed to tell girls the truth but wanted to sound tough instead. (Middle school again).
A student who said he wasn't eating at home. But when I call, he was told not to eat up all the pizza last night.