School is kicking my ***

pagandeva2000, LPN · Apr 19, 2008

Hello all,
Not really wanting an answer or reply, but just sending this out to the bedpan gods.......I am an LVN who was bullied into returning to school by the hospital I am working for, now I'm wondering why I became a nurse at all. School is tougher this time around and I am not doing well. I wonder if I am smart enough to make it through.....any one else feel this way????

I'm curious...how did they bully you? Are they phasing out LPNs at your facility? Also, are they paying your tuition? Did you really wish to return at this time or at all? I have not experienced this myself, but I have met some people who felt pressured to go back, not so much because their jobs pushed their backs against the wall, but, they were made to feel pressure by their peers and co-workers to return before they were ready...sort of like keeping up with the Joneses scholostically.

If your job security is not threatened, can find employment elsewhere or can back out of school for now, I would really consider doing it. There is NOTHING worse than being placed in a position where you are making a financial, physical and emotional commitment for something you don't currently desire. I wish you luck and keep us posted.

MzMouse · Apr 19, 2008

I am also curious why you are being forced to go back to school. Nursing school is hard enough for those who really want to be there. I can't imagine anyone, regardless of ability and intelligence, doing well if you truly don't want to go. Good luck.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Apr 19, 2008

The sheer thought of attending another nursing school makes me puke. I am glad that I did what I had to do to become an LPN, because that is the type of nursing I am interested in-a clear decision I made before I started school and has not changed since. I do remember, however, times throughout that program that I was very angry and felt confined, and also saw that no matter what the level of, B-S continues. Once I let people know not to even inquire about my intentionr or my individual life choices, I actually felt better. I wouldn't want to feel pressured to do something I already decided in my mind I don't want. It would be the same for me-a disaster, because my heart is not in it.

love_being_an_aide · Apr 19, 2008

When I first started working as an aide, my orientation leader told me I was wasting my time going to school to be a Medical Assistant. She told me I would be better off going to nursing school, and I believed her, and dropped out of the program. When I applied to my community college for nursing, I knew my heart wasn't in it, but I was feeling the pressure to go from all sides--the staff I worked with, people and friends in the program, and my family. I realized that I was not living my own life, but the life of others. And I finally stood my ground (in part due to the nervous breakdown I had three days before I was supposed to go to school). So I didn't go. And I have not regretted that decision. The one thing I learned is that you have to do what you want to do. Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to. If they don't like it, to bad. But don't make more stress in your life--stress is something that we have enough of. And now that i'm going to be going for my LPN, I have that same staff telling me what a waste it is, and I tell them to keep out of my personal life, i'm not doing it for them but for me. Hope this helps.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Apr 20, 2008

When I first started working as an aide, my orientation leader told me I was wasting my time going to school to be a Medical Assistant. She told me I would be better off going to nursing school, and I believed her, and dropped out of the program. When I applied to my community college for nursing, I knew my heart wasn't in it, but I was feeling the pressure to go from all sides--the staff I worked with, people and friends in the program, and my family. I realized that I was not living my own life, but the life of others. And I finally stood my ground (in part due to the nervous breakdown I had three days before I was supposed to go to school). So I didn't go. And I have not regretted that decision. The one thing I learned is that you have to do what you want to do. Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to. If they don't like it, to bad. But don't make more stress in your life--stress is something that we have enough of. And now that i'm going to be going for my LPN, I have that same staff telling me what a waste it is, and I tell them to keep out of my personal life, i'm not doing it for them but for me. Hope this helps.

I hear you! I worked as a CNA, Medical Assistant, Phlebotomist and Patient Tech. I always wanted to be a nurse, but over the years, when I saw the difference between the responsibilities of RNs and LPNs, I decided at least 10 years ago that LPN was the route for me. I didn't get the opportunity to actually go to school until my job offered a program that allowed a paid leave of absence and tuition to become either an LPN or RN. I applied for LPN. EVERYONE told me that I made the wrong decision; in fact, when I got accepted into the program and told someone at my job, she told me "Oh, you'll do better next time" and I told her off. I was needled and pestered, but, I stood my ground.

Funny enough, most of the people who applied to the RN program either didn't get accepted or didn't graduate. There were others that did graduate from the LPN program, and they decided to move on, many because of the comments being that LPN is a waste of time. The same thing is happening-some of them are not doing well. There are others that thought that "RNs don't do anything but give orders"...until they became one and saw that to be a good one, you work with everyone else.

I can't control what people think about LPNs, but I do not allow unsolicited advice-I didn't ask them what they felt. I told several people that their lives are not richer than mine because they became RNs, life becomes rich because of your attitude and what you put into it. I am happy with my overall life, with my family, friends, in addition to being a nurse. I can't waste time and money into something to please the crowd.

ksrose1 · Apr 20, 2008

Thanks for all the replies, it's nice to know you are not in the boat alone sometimes.....and now for a few answers. The hospital I work for relocated me to this area (I love the ocean) and I signed a two year contract. This is where it gets ugly, one month after I started working they had a meeting for LVN's only and we were told that we would need to either go back to school and become RN's by 2009 or find jobs else where. If we were in a nursing program and not quite complete by then they would work with us, but we needed to be working on that goal. All those that had signed contracts would need to repay any bonus if did not comply and quit, because they were not making us quit. We could always work up to 2009 and then leave. They are helping with school up to $3000 a year, but I am asked to sign another 6 month extension so needless to say I'm doing it on my own. I have a year and a month left on my contract and you can bet when I complete school, I will work for another hospital. The only good thing is that our work schedules are worked around our school class. So that's the scoop.:typing

pagandeva2000, LPN · Apr 20, 2008

Do you wish to become an RN at this time, or would you rather wait awhile? What usually happens with these contracts is that if they are paying for your education, and you leave, they want to be reimbursed on the amount already spent on your education, whether you completed the program or not. It may be different for your area, so, I could be wrong. You said you were not doing very well-what are your grades? Best of luck to you!

ksrose1 · Mar 16, 2009

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted......I continued on with my classes....my GPA now is 3.2 not great, but not bad either....my hospital finally realized that they could not do it without the LVN's and resended the order six months ago. I did go on with classes. I slowed down a lot and just now completing my pre classes and applied for the fall program. Will have to let you all know if I got in. My last class Microbiololgy is making me crazy.

sasha2lady · Mar 20, 2009

I really like being an lpn...ive never really had a gut wrenching desire to be an RN.....shortly after i finished school and started working as a lpn my husband made a comment to me that just cut me to the bone one day....he said to me something to the effect of "you can make more money when you become a real nurse....".....ohhhhhh myyyyy goddddd.....i was soooo mad....a real nurse???? what did that mean? he then tried to take it back and say he didnt mean it like it sounded...he thinks i should be like my in law who is an RN....and im glad for her but she works and deals with the very things i would hate to deal with.....management, employees health stuff, and placement of people who need it (asstd living, rehabs, nsg homes etc)......and dealing with medicare and caid......i just have no desire for that mess...I want to stay with my residents....the ones who I have been with for so long and have grown to just ..love and look fwd to seeing every day even when I dont wanna go to work. somebody always makes my day better somehow. Ive met some amazing people by being an LPN ....i even met a HOLOCAUST survivor a few yrs back...now that was AMAZING for me as I have always been interested in that era in history and its survivors....I got to touch a real holocaust survivors tattood id number....I'll probably never meet another person like that in my lifetime. Despite all the conflicting views in nursing and the politics, drama in the workplace, etc etc...I never want to do anything else with my life....I dont feel like I was put here to do anything else. Before I was a nurse...I remember a cancer pt calling me in her room one night and telling me that i could be more than what i was at the time if i just put my mind to it......i took her words to heart and got to work......i think she'd be proud if she were still with us today.

lord....ive babbled on again......sorry :)

ksrose1 · Mar 21, 2009

Don't say you are sorry for babbling....this is the one place I feel you can truely babble and gripe (whoops bad word had to edit it).....this is one of my favorite spots to get the load off my chest. I used to love being a nurse....my girlfriend says she became a nurse because of me. Now I think it is just too much paperwork and too much "how can we cut corners to save money" and not enough about the patients. I never really wanted to be an RN either, but as I stated above I made the jump into the pool and there is no turning back now. The closer I get the more I think I can do this and the more I want it. I want to be independent and know that I don't need any help to be on my own. That's what I am working for now.

ksrose1 · Jun 11, 2009

Okay so here is another update........I am retaking my microbiology, the class is a killer, my teacher doesn't like computers so his tests are usually fill in the blank with no word bank and he counts off for spelling. But........I got in! I got my packet last week and was given seven days to get most of it complete. WooHoo I got in! Now I gotta get through micro.