SBAR Report-Nursing as a 2nd career worth it?

[greenjellico]

I need your help with the Recommendation part!

Situation: I'm not sure if it's worth switching from a very flexible, family friendly job to one that will be exhausting, stress-inducing, and take me away from my family more just to experience more stimulation and have more security. Since starting the program, both myself and 2 of my children have experienced health issues that are ongoing and consuming, and I worry I am missing out on their childhood too much.

I can drop out of the program and work as an LPN for a time and continue the program later-or not at all-while focusing on my children and health now. While I would initially be making less money as a nurse than I do working part-time right now, but eventually, a nursing career would provide more income and better benefits.

Background: I am 38, at the start of the 2nd year of my part-time ADN program, married with 3 children, and a MA in English Education. For the past 13 years, I have been teaching and tutoring at 2 local colleges as a writing professor, and I have been part-time ever since I had children.

A couple of years ago, I wanted to pursue something more interesting (my 1st degree is in biology, and I have always been interested in nursing). My husband is a cancer survivor and has had multiple complications due to his treatments, and I have been very motivated by his nursing care. With his health scares, I have also been concerned about my ability to fully provide for my children as it is very difficult to get a full-time tenure job in humanities. While I have access to health insurance, since I am part-time, it is very expensive, and my retirement is a joke. I have been reliant on my husband for both for years.

Assessment: I am exhausted and stressed all of the time, even after reducing work hours. My husband is exhausted and stressed due to his demanding job and picking up the extra responsibilities of the kids and household while I am busy with school. My Hashmito's and IBS have been acting up and making me feel miserable all of the time, and my IBS is getting increasingly worse as I cannot function without massive amounts of coffee. One of my children has weekly dr. appts for the foreseeable future and needs quite a bit of extra time right now. My youngest is 5 and asks me almost every day if I can stay home with her more, and I'm so tired of missing out on activities and extra time with them.

My priorities have also changed, and I am no longer so career motivated or worried about full-time work aside from the concern about my husband's health. However, I am worried that I will regret dropping out. Please provide Recommendations.

[greenjellico]

Thank you for the feedback, LovingLife. I used to be able to handle more at once than I can now, and it has taken me awhile to reach that conclusion. I am just worried that if I postpone this, something may happen to my husband in the next few years, and I will be scrambling.

[greenjellico]

you sound like I was. I have a Biology degree, taught school for a while, I had 2 pre-teens. I was in my ADN program. That was 5 years ago!

I think it was totally worth it! I love nursing.

mmc51264, did you intentionally wait until they were preteens?Would you have done it while they were younger? Out of curiosity, what did you teach, and do you ever miss it?

[greenjellico]

Thank you for the positive tone, WestCoastSunRN! I need to fully acknowledge that whatever choice I make will be okay and not place so much pressure on myself. Much of my concern stems from my husband's health issues and what may happen within the next decade. I don't want to ever struggle with my children.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

At least get your LPN out of it. Then you can do an online course later if that is your wish.

[SaltySarcasticSally, LPN, RN]

Ugh, that's a rough situation. I am an LPN now and I graduate with my RN in April. I have 3 small kids, my youngest has multiple minor health issues, that has been enough to completely drain me while in school so I can't imagine in your situation with your husband's health, yours, and the children in the mix. I had my youngest while doing my pre-reqs and stayed in the whole time because I knew if I left for a short time, it would be very hard to go back.

With your husband's health, I would be inclined to say stay in school just so you wont have that worry in the back of your mind of being able to provide for your kids if god forbid anything happened. You have about a year left right? Is there anything you can do to make your situation slightly easier so you can finish? It sounds like finishing school will bring you peace of mind in the long run and it may be worth it to stick it out now while it's difficult but still doable because in the future it may not be an option at all for you to go back to school.

[Cafelattee]

Oh wow you are having a tough time. I had a 3 yo and a new born when my dh was diagnosed with cancer. I was 27 and he was 34 at the time. I remember being stressed how I could provide for them. I had my RN but still a lot on someone plate. I really hope your dh pulls through and get back his full health. I would say you need to finish up for security reasons.

Sometimes as mothers we have to weight it out -yes you will have less time for them at this moment but long term will completing your RN be best for them

I will also add I that I was completing my bsn (before internet) had my son was born a a month early right before graduation and my dh was diagnosed within 2 week after gradation. I was nursing a baby, a toddler to my dh's treatment that were a hour one way and aback. I also had to figure out how to pay bills. I had to have a lot of peoples help and it was the worst year of my life. BUt now dh and I have been married 26 years and he has been healthy

I feel for you and hurt for you. I don't know what you are capable off or what your family really needs. You have to decide but just know that what you decide is the right answer - don't second guess.

Blessing, goods thought and prayer for your family

[greenjellico]

Hi SaltySarcasticSally,

Great name, btw :)

Regarding the point below, I do want to push through, and yes, I have 15 months left. I just don't want to kill myself in the process :)

With your husband's health, I would be inclined to say stay in school just so you wont have that worry in the back of your mind of being able to provide for your kids if god forbid anything happened. You have about a year left right?

[greenjellico]

Thanks for your reply, Cafelattee, and you definitely can empathize with my struggles! I'm glad to hear your husband has done so well!

I can't even imagine how tough your life must have been around your graduation; you're obviously a very strong person :)

Oh wow you are having a tough time. I had a 3 yo and a new born when my dh was diagnosed with cancer. I was 27 and he was 34 at the time. I remember being stressed how I could provide for them. I had my RN but still a lot on someone plate. I really hope your dh pulls through and get back his full health. I would say you need to finish up for security reasons.

Sometimes as mothers we have to weight it out -yes you will have less time for them at this moment but long term will completing your RN be best for them

I will also add I that I was completing my bsn (before internet) had my son was born a a month early right before graduation and my dh was diagnosed within 2 week after gradation. I was nursing a baby, a toddler to my dh's treatment that were a hour one way and aback. I also had to figure out how to pay bills. I had to have a lot of peoples help and it was the worst year of my life. BUt now dh and I have been married 26 years and he has been healthy

I feel for you and hurt for you. I don't know what you are capable off or what your family really needs. You have to decide but just know that what you decide is the right answer - don't second guess.

Blessing, goods thought and prayer for your family

[cocoa_puff]

Becoming a nurse was the biggest mistake of my life. I would not recommend it, however many people love being a nurse. You have to do what's best for you and your family.

[Cafelattee]

Thanks for your reply, Cafelattee, and you definitely can empathize with my struggles! I'm glad to hear your husband has done so well!

I can't even imagine how tough your life must have been around your graduation; you're obviously a very strong person :)

I remember feeling so dang guilty about my kids. My babies first year book almost all of my writing were mommy guilt stuff and a more or less a journal of my dh stuff, new born stuff. It became my journal. My boy is 20 this year and started reading it. I had one page where my dh had just had surgery and was starting his first round of treatment. I was breastfeeding and was just exhausted. I had to decide to stop because I just couldn't' do it all. The whole scribbling obvious I was crying while posting was about how I felt like I was letting my baby down. I really wish his baby book would of had more joy. Well the new born will turn 20 in May. He and his girlfriend started reading through the babybook when he started cleaning out his room. He said the saddest thing he read was one of my first post. I had been breast feeding, dh got diagnosed, surgery within the week and on 3 week of treatments. I was mentally physically exhausted and had made the decision I just couldn't breast feed anyone. I had a whole page about how much I loved him, felt guilty I couldn't give him something that important. Then how sick my dh was and pretty much every bad scary feeling I was having that summer. I had never read any of it been in a chest for years. He and his girlfriend were crying. He just hug me said I had been the best mom. I wish I was strong I think like all of us we do the best we can. I looked strong but that journal baby book was my real fears.

You are in my toughts and prayers. I so pray for healing.

[la_chica_suerte85, BSN, RN]

As a new nurse, I expect to have to work nights, weekends, and holidays and pay my dues, but I'm now wondering if it's all worth it, at least until the kids are older. I would hate to lose the momentum I have now, and not graduate with the friends I have made, but I don't want to look back on this time and think, "I should have been there more for them". I just need outsiders' perspectives.

No, you should not expect to have to work nights (weekends and holidays, of course, but if nights aren't for you, you don't have to put yourself in a position where nights are mandatory). In school, I worked my butt off and networked and carved out the ideal RN job for myself. Many students I graduated w/ are parents and were able to do so as well. I now work nights because I choose to (I'm a night owl so I'm lucky to be rewarded with a shift differential) and I LOVE where I work.

You are in control more than you think but it requires some refocusing on what you can do in terms of starting to orient yourself more toward realizing the most ideal new grad situation that you can. Like others have said, if you are in a state that allows RN students to sit for their PN license after completing certain curricula in their program, do so but only if you know gainful employment as an LPN will await you after. That's a lot of extra stress that might not lead anywhere.

Look around where you live. What are the job openings for LPNs if you choose to go that route? Where are LPNs usually needed? If you see nothing but night shift in LTC or rehab, then that is likely not where you want to end up. I wouldn't recommend that on the basis that you're experiencing some struggles with your health that you don't want to purposefully put yourself somewhere that makes it worse (and, then might force you to call off repeatedly -- you'll have that extra stress of feeling like you're being seen as that person and, again, you don't need that). That's potentially jeopardizing your resumé, your sanity, and the health of you and your family.

How much longer do you have until you graduate? You mentioned your program is a part-time ADN. Is the amount of time between now and graduation too long to stop working completely and focus entirely on school and your family? Is your job the only source of health insurance? What is your tolerance of getting student loans? Have you looked into the Nurse Corps Scholarship Program? What I would recommend (and, truly, this is a bit of a gamble) is to stop working at your current job and shift your focus to family, school and building your RN career. Start considering what will be waiting for you when you graduate in terms of new grad jobs. What can you do now to make all that you have accomplished work for you even before you graduate? What are you looking to specialize in as an RN? Are you going to get your BSN eventually? I know these are just questions and not really recommendations but these are major considerations in terms of what you end up deciding for your current situation. I know your current focus must be on what is presently happening in your household but you still have to remember what is at the end of the road for nursing school.

You assessed that you are exhausted and stressed all the time and so is your husband, especially as he has had to take on current household responsibilities. What can you do to help w/ that current situation? I suspect that, unless you rely on your job for health insurance for the whole family, it might be necessary to consider saying goodbye to your current job and start shifting your focus more toward being a career student (i.e. networking, leadership roles, volunteering, etc.) and mom so that your outcomes are the best they can be when you graduate. You mentioned that, even with reduced hours with your current employment, you are still struggling and it might even be as simple as having to deal with something that is at odds with where you are going in your new career. For my situation, I needed health insurance just as part of nursing school compliance. I was working full time as a manager in retail but I simply had to quit and find something full time as a nursing assistant. Magically, working full time as a nursing assistant amounts to much less than full time (3 days vs. 5+ on top of nursing school) as a retail manager (and, if you work part time as an NA, it's FAR less AND you still get benefits).

My vote is to keep going with school, consider changing your job situation so that you have more time to be open to school and mom responsibilities and start looking toward building your RN career here and now. Visualize what kind of job you would like to have in what kind of a facility you would like to work in and start putting your efforts toward realizing that vision. You aren't the first parent to miss out on time with your kids because of nursing school. Sacrifice of family is kind of par for the course. But, none of the parents I went to school with regretted that time missed (the only ones that weren't thrilled with taking a step back during school felt a twinge of regret because they missed out on graduating with their initial cohort but I doubt they would choose differently). If anything, the kind of freedom that nursing can allowed once they were off orientation and working full time made up for it. They were doing fulfilling work, work that was rewarding financially, intellectually and personally. The benefits to your life and health can't be beat. Once you are done with school, the amount of free time you will have to get your life, family and home back in order will blow your mind and will make all of this present pain worth it.

Good luck! I hope my ramblings made some kind of sense!

[greenjellico]

Becoming a nurse was the biggest mistake of my life. I would not recommend it, however many people love being a nurse. You have to do what's best for you and your family.

\CocoaPuff, why do you regret nursing so much?