Say What?

I don't understand. It sounds like he came over to let you know he was getting two of your patients and he was waiting for report, but you just stood there saying nothing. Then you got frustrated because HE didn't say anything, and you refused to give him report on your patients?

What am I missing??

I think I get what you're saying. Try to being more direct. Instead of assuming things, tell him "I'm just finishing this up and then we will do report." If he's standing around, ask him if you can start report. Sometimes people are still waking up and aren't cluing into subtle hints or assumptions.

I guess I'm not understanding the problem either. If I am understanding the scenario correctly: he told you he was receiving 2 of your patients and was standing next to you waiting for you to start report … you were waiting for him to ask you to start … when you asked for clarification for why he didn't ask you to start report he became angry, and you became upset? Is this what happened?

From the scenario I'm seeing you were in the wrong my friend. Sorry.

What is the procedure of passing the baton at shift change? Is there a place everyone goes, or do you all seek each other out and do report at the places most convenient? Did this scenario contrast with what you are typically used to in the past?

It sounds like miscommunication and misunderstanding of the worst kind. Now that you know what he expects you will likely follow that protocol. What he did seemed to make sense to at least one other staff nurse present, so there is that to consider. And by your own admission you are new to the unit, and may not know all the steps most nurses follow by rote in many given circumstances, which may not be obvious, or even make sense to you yet at this point. You can't really fault someone for something they aren't even aware of yet … but (isn't there always?) if you suspect something but don't inquire one sure can.

Maybe also speak to him at a calm moment and apologize for any misunderstanding that had passed between you. Even if you don't think you are at fault it may make your future work relationship more pleasant. He may even expect an explanation of what actually happened from your point of view. If your explanation seems logical he may just give you a pass as the newbie trying to learn the ropes and culture of a new unit. After all, he was once new there too. He may even share with you some bone-headed things he did (we all did them) when he first got there, and you may eventually end up with a fairly friendly relationship, and a go-to person to ask questions and learn from out of it.

I'm an old bat, and I've inevitably found in life there will always be someone that may misunderstand your statements or intentions for the worst even if that's not how you meant it. If you can plausibly explain yourself and what was going on in your head, and extend an olive branch most people are reasonable enough to forgive a blunder (especially an unintentional one). If they don't (or won't) and want to keep their hurt feelings close to their chest to hold against you in future then there was never anything you could have done to change that anyway. Move on with that knowledge.

I do recommend you talk to someone who has been on the unit a while to ask about other unit cultures you may not yet know about.

One other piece of advice you can take or leave, but getting mad when you most likely misunderstood is probably not the best method of handling a situation. That will likely get you into hot water in future (after all, how will you handle it the first time a doctor is vile to you? Not like this, or you will be in dutch tout sweet). Perhaps taking an internal deep breath and saying, "Oh, I'm sorry. I misunderstood", then laugh off your blunder may go over a bit better. Just sayin'.

Oh, and welcome to nursing. We sure need all the new people we can get.

Thank you all for taking time to respond to my long post. I can sometimes be clueless and need prompting for what seems to be obvious to others. I suppose when he told me he was getting two patients from me, I was thinking he was letting me know and that he was going to get his "brain" prepared--usually we put labels on a piece of paper to take notes during report. After having some time to think, I was very worried I might have come off as rude after that encounter, and I was thinking of ways to remedy it. I do think apology is definitely in order here...yikes! I just hope he's not still too mad

Thank you all for taking time to respond to my long post. I can sometimes be clueless and need prompting for what seems to be obvious to others. I suppose when he told me he was getting two patients from me, I was thinking he was letting me know and that he was going to get his "brain" prepared--usually we put labels on a piece of paper to take notes during report. After having some time to think, I was very worried I might have come off as rude after that encounter, and I was thinking of ways to remedy it. I do think apology is definitely in order here...yikes! I just hope he's not still too mad

He's human, and probably has stuck his foot in it a time or two. As a matter of fact we all are, therefore allowed to make mistakes. Good luck!

Just as guidance for next time if he comes up and says I'm getting two patients from you then maybe respond with great are you ready for report? That should hopefully help alleviate any confusion of who's on first.

I work in a non-healthcare field but it's still busy and I do have to hand off what I'm doing to the other shift sometimes. I'm always very direct and say, "Ok, are you ready?"

This is leaves no confusion for anyone. I'm ready to give you the details of what I've been doing today, so you can take over.

I would agree with what others have said. When he said he was getting 2 of your patients, I would have said something like, "OK, are you ready to receive report?" This prompts the hand-off.

"My apologies if I came off rudely the other morning. I get caught up in finishing stuff with patients, that it takes me awhile to communicate effectively."

"Ok, well I am just finishing up this finger stick, then I will be ready to report to you"

"2 of mine? Ok. I will be ready in 5 minutes to give report."

Otherwise hanging in the hall staring at each other gets awkward.

And yes, after being up all night, sometimes we all feel a bit cloudy.....

Thank you for all the advice, I will remember to be more direct in the future. I did apologize the last shift I saw him, and he was really nice about it. I'm usually a very introverted gal so it's been kind of hard to try to communicate with different people, but I'll try my best

I don't understand. It sounds like he came over to let you know he was getting two of your patients and he was waiting for report, but you just stood there saying nothing. Then you got frustrated because HE didn't say anything, and you refused to give him report on your patients?

What am I missing??

That's how I read the situation as well.

Communication is so important in health care, as is teamwork. We all have to strive to be as clear and direct as possible to avoid misunderstandings. Apologize to your colleague (even if you don't feel you were in the wrong) and explain that you were very busy or tired or frazzled or whatever and misunderstood. Then try very hard not to make similar errors in the future.