Routines for those of you with children

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I am entering my 3rd semester of an ADN program. I am a single mom of 3 children (ages 14, 12, and 7). So far my family life has been a little chaotic while I've been in school, so I am wondering what works for some of you. I am also working 2 part-time jobs (12 hours per week each, more during school breaks). I've been so busy with school and studying and work that I haven't had as much time as I would like to be a mom to them. I know that it is vital for me to complete school though. I told them that in less than a year, I will be finished with school, and I will be able to work 1 job and then be a mom when I am home instead of having my nose in a book the whole time. They understand that and are encouraging to me about it.

What routines or chore arrangements work well for you? I have told my older 2 that I will need them to help around the house more, and they are agreeable to it. I am going to try to have all 3 pick out their clothes the night before and tidy their rooms every evening. I'm considering alternating weeks for the older 2 with one cleaning the kitchen with the other cleaning the bathroom, tidying the living room, and dusting and vacuuming. Of course, I will be helping out also and not just expecting them to do everything, lol. I'm going to have my youngest pitching in too. He has Asperger's syndrome (high functioning form of autism), so it's a little challenging.

Bedtime for all 3 has been not going so well. For the past 2 years, I've been working through the week until 9 PM, so often we wouldn't get home until 10 PM. (I had been working around 50-60 hours per week between 2 jobs + going to school full-time). Then they were so glad to see me that they would understandably want to talk with me and so forth instead of getting ready for bed. It was not unusual for them to take an hour or longer to settle down and go to sleep. Then I would need to stay up until 1 or 2 AM or sometimes even 4 AM to get my studying done. (Once I didn't get to sleep at all). This semester, I will probably be home by 4:30 PM through the week and 8 PM on Saturdays. I know I will have to spend a significant time studying, but I am also looking forward to eating dinner with them, listening to them about how their day went and whatever is on their minds, and attending special school functions with them. Hopefully, they will be more ready to settle down and get to sleep at a more appropriate time. This will help them be rested for their school, and I will hopefully be able to finish my studying and get in bed a little earlier myself too, although I have heard that 3rd semester will keep you up all night.

Please feel free to offer suggestions about what you find that works for you and your family. I really want to do a great job with everything I have to do, including being a mom.

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I'm interested to hear advice also. I haven't been in school for a few years but will hopefully be attending a two year program starting spring 2011. When I was in school my life was crazy and unorganized. I managed to keep A's and B's in my prerequisites but when I started my first nursing semester I bombed (there were other factors but being more organized would have made the difference). I took the two years off of to regroup and let my kids get older. There were so many students who were also moms in my class so I know it can be done. I'm going to need a strict schedule to do this again...with success this time.

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Once I started nursing school I made up a chore list for my husband and I. It goes pretty well. You can do the same for your 2 older kids at least. It helps us out a lot. You definitely have your hands full.....I hope someone else here can help you more. Good luck!

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Here's what I do, but keep in mind I am a single mom to a little boy who is 3, I don't have the older 2, but my son does have a LOT of appointments throughout the week.

I write out a chore list for each of us. His is daily and has what time of the day he does certain activities. For instance, he will lay his own clothing out Sunday through Thursday evenings for the following day (which is something your older children can do for themselves). He will take a bath in the evening on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Etc, etc, etc. He has small little things that he does for the household every day as well, such as make his bed and make sure all of the dirty clothes, towels, etc are where they need to go.

As for me, I also have a chore list of things that I need to do daily, which has small things I need to remember to do (I always walk out of the house without remembering to do something)! Those little things are on my list.

I have a seperate list of things that I need to do weekly to the house. For instance, I have on my daily chore list that I need to clean the kitchen before I go to bed each night. On my weekly chore list, I DEEP CLEAN the kitchen on Mondays. On my weekly chore list, I go grocery shopping on Wednesdays, etc.

I always have rewards ready for when my son, and myself, complete our chore lists. We mark as we go along and at the end of each week, we get a reward. This would be great for helping the bedtime routine along. You can maybe reward your older children with a movie on Saturday afternoons if they go to bed every night by what time you want them to. Saturdays, I would be more inclined to let my kids stay up because they typically don't have school the next day. I think you get the idea.

This works for me but I don't think that it will work for everyone. I am super organized though and couldn't stand it any other way! Good luck and I'm sure you will fall into a rhythm that works for you and your family!

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Another thing that saves time is using my crockpot to cook my meals and having a menu planned out for the week so when I grocery shop, I know exactly what I'm there for and in and out in less than 30 minutes!!!

Most crockpot meals are 10 minutes to prep and you eat as soon as you walk in the door. I made ribs one day this past week and the meat fell off the bone, they were so good!

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Thanks, these sound like great suggestions! I will definitely have to gather some crockpot recipes. We have eaten too many microwave meals lately. I will also develop good chore lists for my kids.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

I have 3 kids full time and 1 every other weekend. I made a "Master" chore list for each child.(ages 13,8,6) It has what time they get up every morning(once school starts) what they are to do once they get home from school all by times. IE 6am wake ...4 homework,chores etc. Then I have a HUGE wall calendar that I put who does what on what day. I have each child in their fav color. Most of the chores are in code but I have on the top of the calendar what each means.

I have everything on there, their chores, dr apt.,birthdays, what days to do what laundry, trash day any and everything that everyone in the house will need to know. lol I even put a "how to use" list up any where that needed one. I figure it will be easier for them to use the washer if they know how much soap,softener, dryer sheets oh and how MUCH clothes actually go in the washer. Im hoping that on the weekends I can get in the good deep cleanings. As for bed times Ive had my kids on one since they were little, my mom told me start early. I do have my mom to help watch the kids after school till my husband and I return. I can only have my mom help because I too have a child with Asperger's. (my 8yr old) and he has times when hes hard to handle and others cant tell if its behavior or the Asperger's making him act up. I also am using a crock pot AND making all the meals I can on the weekend and freezing them so they can just pop them in the oven and voila they have a "home cooked" meal.

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Thanks, CSmiley. It sounds like you have a great routine. The other day, I bought a kind of large dry erase board with different colored markers, and I stuck in on the side of the refrigerator which is visible upon entering the kitchen. I have only put tasks for bedtime on it so far...pajamas, use bathroom, brush teeth, pick out clothes for next day. My youngest (the one with Asperger's) seems to be following it so far, but I need to write what time to have it done by. That's a good idea about using a different color for each child for chores. I need to work on getting it all planned out now. :)

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

Mine dont always follow it...but it does help. I started mine this summer, only because my 8 yr old HATEs changes in his routine. Another thing I did, for some this is over kill but with an Aspie(asperger's child) its a have to, I put a chore chart in their bathroom that has the chores in writing and a picture to follow. I like the whole chore chart because then they can look and see what they need to do or still have left to do.

When I went to my orientation for school my teachers said....get use to the house not being as clean as you'd like or as often. Im trying to get use to that...lol.

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Specializes in student; help!.

I'm doing Accountable Kids with mine, and it's working really well. Mine are 2, 4, and 6, and I have the oldest two doing all kinds of chores around the house with very little complaining or nagging. They earn privileges with each batch of chores (morning, afternoon, evening), which they can use to buy tv, video games, etc. What I like the most is that they're responsible for doing the chores and earning the tickets, and it's not my job to guide them. Mostly. ;)

As extra incentive, we do movies and pizza on Friday nights, and alternate who chooses the flick. Right now that's our best currency.

As for me, I do laundry daily, because there are 5 of us and that's just how it works. Each of the big kids has a job they chose to do for money, but neither of them is doing theirs, so I'm picking that slack up.

On a daily basis, Perp (6) is in charge of clearing the table, cleaning her room, making her bed, putting her laundry away, puts dirty clothes in the hamper, vacuums, emptying the garbages, her teeth, her hair, and picking up toys before bed. Dude (4), does his bed, cleans his room, puts away his laundry, feeds the dog and picks eggs, gets the mail, picks up toys, dusts, gets himself dressed, puts his dirty clothes in the hamper, and sets the table. That covers a lot every day.

Chewie (almost 2) will get her own set of cards when she's 3. Not sure what she'll be in charge of yet.

On a weekly basis, I do a good bathroom cleaning (swish & swipe daily), try to mop at least the downstairs, clean the stove, and tidy the porch, since it's the only way in or out of the house. I don't have set days for that, just when I have time. MrMonkey's going to have to help out more once classes start, I think. We'll see. I change our bed on Sunday. Nice way to start the week.

I think the most important thing is that kids have a VISUAL reminder of what to do, which is why I love AK. They each have a board with cards that picture all their chores, and as they complete them, they flip the card over. Doing am cards before lunch means a ticket. Afternoon cards before dinner: ticket, etc. Two tickets each equals a movie, one each equals a cartoon show, and so on.

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That sounds great...I would love to have my kids help out without me nagging! They are good kids, but they really can drag their feet at times when it comes to something that they don't want to do. Perhaps it would help for them to complete their responsibilities before getting perks, such as TV or video games. I can use that idea in combination with chore charts to help motivate them.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

Im gonna use that idea, couldnt figure out a good perk for school time. In the summer it was the pool and having a friend over or getting to play video games in my living room. I need to tweek the school time rewards. So far the only one is, once they finish homework and chores THEN they may watch tv or play their hand held games...I may do the whole we all get to sit and watch a movie since most of my time will be studying. Will def give us some family time too.

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