Remembering a friend

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

Seven years ago today I came home from my midnight shift and sat on the couch to watch SportsCenter with my dad. I opened the newspaper, as I did every day.

But that day was different.

That day I read your name in the paper. I didn't believe the article. That your husband had killed you and then himself. There was no way it was you. But my denial did not change the fact. My friend, one of my mentors, was dead.

When I was a nursing student, you took me under your wing. We didn't even technically work in the same department, but you always offered to show me something new...I always learned (and laughed) when you were working.

One day there was a drive-by shooting in front of the hospital. All of the staff watched helplessly from the top floor as gang violence broke out on the streets. You explained to me the different gangs and what they wore, what they were about. I had no idea how you became so smart about EVERYTHING. The residents even gave you an award for teaching THEM! (Surgical residents, at that!)

When I graduated, you gave me a card with a wonderful, inspiring message. You bought me an RN badge holder. I remember the day that it broke.

As a new grad, I would see you in the halls of that same hospital. We were both in new departments but we always greeted each other warmly. We both left the hospital...I went to a suburban location and you went on to teach nursing students.

Then a year later you died. The online commentors on the newspaper's website said terrible terrible things. Your children argued with them and defended both you and your husband.

Your children had a dual Mass for you and your husband.

You never got to meet your grandchildren.

There's a scholarship in your name now.

Once you told me "I'd love to see you in a code." Well, my first code was a disaster; however, shortly after you died, another nurse's patient coded. I jumped right in...I was the first to do compressions. After that, I was the "code queen." Just like you knew I'd be. I've saved lives. I've literally helped to bring back people from the dead.

But I couldn't save you. And I can't bring you back.

[ponymom]

Thankyou for writing this, although I am very sorry that you had to. Hugs..

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Thank you for sharing this story. Although it happened several years ago, I am still so very sorry for the tragic loss of this special friend. Again, thank you.