Jump to content

Remember the Days Before My Death

Updated | Published

As a usual night shift, I was taking handover from my co-worker from the previous shift. She continued her patient reporting, and I was being attentive throughout that. She mentioned about a new patient admitted during her shift. After receiving report from her, I headed to see my patients. I happened to know other patients since they were there for a while. When I moved toward the new one I saw a cute little boy caressing his doll in his bed.

by goldens goldens, RN (New)

Specializes in Med/ Surg. Has 6 years experience.

What is the most memorable comment a patient has said to you?

Remember the Days Before My Death

When I approached him by calling his name, he smiled and said "Hi, I am fine. Are you here to play with me?

I smiled back and replied. I was so pleased to see that little wonder until I remembered his diagnosis.

I asked myself, Is this the one who is battling Leukemia?

At the same time, I asked God about the little one's fault to be cursed that way. I got no answer and feel like crying. But soon I maintained my composure and involved in the routine work. Later that night I could not talk to him because he was sound asleep.

In the morning, when I went for the routine assessment he asked me what his vitals are and I told him the findings. I was surprised when a 4-year-old kid behaved that way. I was shocked again when he asked me about his treatment plans and his role.

He also took my breath away when he asked me not to be surprised by his actions because he knows that he has Acute lymphoblastic leukemia (he even know the type) and wants to be involved in the treatment process.

I was completely speechless to see a 4-year-old child speaking like that. After a while, my shift was over and I had to leave. It was also my last night that week so I was kind of excited for the day off.

That day at home I tried to get rest but couldn't. I was thinking about that smart kid and his nice smile. It was not the first time I saw a kid in that situation, but surely it was the very first time I saw a kid acting like an adult.

I tried to distract myself from thinking of him and started to watch a movie. It helped me a lot when my friend asked me to go shopping. We went to a beautiful shopping mall and bought some fancy dresses. The other day passed the same way.

Again, it was time for my day duty. Once I entered the ward, I was looking forward to seeing that wonderful child. After the nursing reporting, I came to know that he is on Induction therapy of treatment. My co-worker also mentioned that he helped to select the vein for IV insertion. I could not be more stunned. Later when I went to see him, he screamed, "Oh you were the night nurse the other day, I recognized you, did you take enough rest?"

My heart melted after hearing that. I knew I was being emotional and weak too. I could not resist and cry in the bathroom. At that day, I got a chance to talk with his parents. I was so cheerless to know that he is their only kid. The father seemed to be brave but the mother could not hold her tears. I actively listened to them, whatever they had to say and also answered some queries they had. They were so proud of him.

Days passed watching his magical ways of handling his problem. Each day with him was a learning day for me. His braveness, courage, hope taught me a lot. After 14 days of hospitalization, he was discharged. He was so happy to go home and had a plan about things he wanted to do. We were also glad to send him home with improved condition. After some time we heard that he is receiving further treatment at a nearby hospital from his home. His father used to call us at times.

After a year and a half, when I was visiting one of my relatives in the same city, I ran into his parents. I saw a newborn baby with them, but I did not see him. I was so terrified so ask about him, but I did.

His father replied, "He is with us".

I was so relieved until I found out the truth. When we further talked, I came to know that he did not survive from the Consolidation therapy. It was so hard for me to hear that during his last moments he asked a promise from his parents that they will have another baby soon.

I still remember when he said this "If I die, you all should remember my days before I die, not the day I die". He was brave, courageous, hopeful, hilarious, funny, amusing, adorable, charming and so on. I could not be more inspired by anybody else.

1 Article   4 Posts

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

14 Comment(s)

I can't stop crying.

What a beautiful child.

Very good article. Thank you for sharing with us.

kessadawn, BSN, RN

Specializes in pediatric critical care. Has 7 years experience.

Wow. That's all I can say about that kid, just Wow. You'll never forget him. Good job, nurse.:heartbeat

:crying2: I don't know how you ped nurses do it....thank you for sharing

that was so wonderful experience that u have....so many good attitudes, in a 4 yrs old child...

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych. Has 20 years experience.

This is why I could never be a pediatric nurse! Bless all of you who do this work.......and thank you, goldens, for this story. What a brave, brave boy.

MelodyNelson, LVN

Specializes in corrections. Has 13 years experience.

His parents are right. He is with them. And he is with you, and always will be.

Thank you for sharing such a heart warming story. It reminded me of when I did my pediatric rotation at a large Children's hospital many years ago. I was only there for a short time but during that time I also met a very young child with cancer who was mature beyond his years. He was very involved with his care and actually was the one comforting his parents. He was an inspiration to all who met him.


Specializes in Med-Surg/ICU.

Thank you! I don't think I can work around young children. I'm a cry baby when it comes to them and I hate to see any in pain or severely sick.

your story touched me so much. it made me cry. thanks for sharing.

I have always loved kids and if I ever get to be a ped nurse I think I'll be crying as much as I am right now if not more.

Such courage and maturity for someone so young. :flwrhrts:

goldens, RN

Specializes in Med/ Surg. Has 6 years experience.

Thank you all for taking time to read my story.

thanks for sharing this article.that amazing child inspired me to recognize and appreciate the beauty of life and face the challenges in an optimistic way.

all people we meet in life are no accident. they are meant to teach us something. it could reflect from their actions, attitude towards life or their life testimonies etc. Actually, to tell you the truth that child is sooooooooo lucky. in the Holy Bible it says that all children who die go straight to Jesus because of their innocence and purity of their nature. You should not worry about him. YOu should worry about yourself.....if you die anytime, are you ready? and where will you go? That child is with Jesus now. What a lucky child!