Relocating..? So scary!

llg, PhD, RN · Oct 5, 2018

I relocated by myself as a new grad many, many years ago and several other times over the course of my long career. I'd like to tell you that it's "no big deal," but that would not be the truth. It is a big deal and if you want to succeed at relocating, you need to prepare yourself for living more independently and spend time alone.

I had gone to a music camp far away from my home for 6 weeks while I was in high school -- and I had gone away from home for college (lived in a dorm). So I knew what it was like to be in a strange place while working hard and under stress. I knew I could "tough it out" -- whatever "it" was. You seem not be so confident about that. You'll need to be able to make new friends, find your way around a new city, find a doctor, dentist, bank, shopping, etc. Are you prepared for that? If not, perhaps you can find someone to go to your new city with you and spend some time there with you helping you locate those necessary resources.

When I moved for my new grad job, I moved only about 1 hour away from my home town (a small town). I already had a car and could easily make trips home once or even twice a month. That was a good way for me to go. I was on my home, but family was only an hour away. Are there places you could go that would be an easy train ride or bus ride away? Florida may appeal to you, but you will probably need to drive and have a car to have much of a life there -- and it will be complicated and expensive to see your family in New York if you live in Florida. Do you really want to go that far away for your first try at living alone?

gennn19, BSN, RN · Oct 5, 2018

I relocated by myself as a new grad many, many years ago and several other times over the course of my long career. I'd like to tell you that it's "no big deal," but that would not be the truth. It is a big deal and if you want to succeed at relocating, you need to prepare yourself for living more independently and spend time alone.
I had gone to a music camp far away from my home for 6 weeks while I was in high school -- and I had gone away from home for college (lived in a dorm). So I knew what it was like to be in a strange place while working hard and under stress. I knew I could "tough it out" -- whatever "it" was. You seem not be so confident about that. You'll need to be able to make new friends, find your way around a new city, find a doctor, dentist, bank, shopping, etc. Are you prepared for that? If not, perhaps you can find someone to go to your new city with you and spend some time there with you helping you locate those necessary resources.
When I moved for my new grad job, I moved only about 1 hour away from my home town (a small town). I already had a car and could easily make trips home once or even twice a month. That was a good way for me to go. I was on my home, but family was only an hour away. Are there places you could go that would be an easy train ride or bus ride away? Florida may appeal to you, but you will probably need to drive and have a car to have much of a life there -- and it will be complicated and expensive to see your family in New York if you live in Florida. Do you really want to go that far away for your first try at living alone?

Thank you so much for replying! Your response was honestly pretty refreshing. People tend to say "Go for it, you're young, explore life" but they don't realize that these are all things one has to think about before making such a big decision. These are all things I think about, at least.

I did dorm, but it was in the city so I knew home was always a short train ride away and that was very comforting. I would like to step out of my comfort zone but I also want to be realistic. You are correct, I am not 100% confident. Florida may have to be just a dream for now! Thanks again for your honest opinion :)

ventmommy · Oct 8, 2018

I love adventure and moving. I have lived all over this country by choice. Moving is fun and exciting! I moved all the way across the country when I was 18 and never looked back! I realize that kind of life isn't for everyone but it sure can be fun.

No, there is absolutely nowhere in the country that has such an extensive mass transit system as NYC. If you are on the subway line, there are cities with good subways like Boston and DC. If you plan it right, you could avoid having to drive in Boston, DC, Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. Maybe Denver and Atlanta if you really plan well.

There are many places between NYC and FL that would be closer to home. CT, MA, NJ, RI, and parts of PA would all be a day trip back home if you wanted to see your family. FL would be a 2-3 day drive or a plane ride.

Also consider what kind of weather you want to deal with. FL has hurricanes and tornadoes. My next move will be to get away from the Mid-Atlantic/Southern weather problems.

gennn19, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2018

I love adventure and moving. I have lived all over this country by choice. Moving is fun and exciting! I moved all the way across the country when I was 18 and never looked back! I realize that kind of life isn't for everyone but it sure can be fun.
No, there is absolutely nowhere in the country that has such an extensive mass transit system as NYC. If you are on the subway line, there are cities with good subways like Boston and DC. If you plan it right, you could avoid having to drive in Boston, DC, Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. Maybe Denver and Atlanta if you really plan well.
There are many places between NYC and FL that would be closer to home. CT, MA, NJ, RI, and parts of PA would all be a day trip back home if you wanted to see your family. FL would be a 2-3 day drive or a plane ride.
Also consider what kind of weather you want to deal with. FL has hurricanes and tornadoes. My next move will be to get away from the Mid-Atlantic/Southern weather problems.

Thank you for your reply! I admire people like you, who can move across the country and not look back. Part of me has always wished I could do that without a care in the world! Mass transit here is pretty reliable (I hate it at times, but it does get the job done)! I've been looking at some parts of PA and MA since I have some family in MA, but the job market in Boston is just as bad as NY's. And frankly, I'm into that whole tropical weather vibe. I spent the first half of my life living in the Dominican Republic with my grandparents, so I'm used to the hurricanes and hot weather! But it is definitely something to consider. I think FL is something I'll do later on down the road. Right now I just want to be comfortable in a new grad position not too far from home. I don't need the added stress of being alone!

Bonstemps, EMT-P · Oct 9, 2018

I am similar to some in that I adore the challenge and excitement of moving; I am from NJ but have lived in France, Japan, MA, VT, FL, and LA. Each move has opened up the doors to a greater understanding of culture and lived experiences for me but I would be remiss if I didn't admit the fear and isolation that comes with the decision to move. You DO pick up everything and move your whole life to a new place; but you also meet new people. It absolutely CAN be lonely; but you will make new friends and have co-workers to lean on and learn from. I have been scared every time I moved, but I wanted to know more about the world and improve my practice and thought there were difficult times, it benefited me. Just remember, yes, there will be hard times and travel isn't fully about adventure, however, it will change your life and teach you things you may have never learned.

It IS and ISN'T a big deal. It is a big deal because you are taking flight and venturing into an unknown territory ... and at the same time it isn't because many people have done this and live happily because of it. Worst case scenario, you can always go back; the thing about nursing is that there are jobs nearly everywhere.

It's all about deciding to take the risk.

gennn19, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2018

I am similar to some in that I adore the challenge and excitement of moving; I am from NJ but have lived in France, Japan, MA, VT, FL, and LA. Each move has opened up the doors to a greater understanding of culture and lived experiences for me but I would be remiss if I didn't admit the fear and isolation that comes with the decision to move. You DO pick up everything and move your whole life to a new place; but you also meet new people. It absolutely CAN be lonely; but you will make new friends and have co-workers to lean on and learn from. I have been scared every time I moved, but I wanted to know more about the world and improve my practice and thought there were difficult times, it benefited me. Just remember, yes, there will be hard times and travel isn't fully about adventure, however, it will change your life and teach you things you may have never learned.
It IS and ISN'T a big deal. It is a big deal because you are taking flight and venturing into an unknown territory ... and at the same time it isn't because many people have done this and live happily because of it. Worst case scenario, you can always go back; the thing about nursing is that there are jobs nearly everywhere.
It's all about deciding to take the risk.

This was very inspiring! Thank you for that. I definitely want to explore the world more and it's always been a dream of mine. I do think I may wait until I am a more experienced nurse to take on this journey, but thank you for reminding me why I wanted to do this in the first place :)

elkpark · Oct 11, 2018

I am another one who moved to a different area when I graduated nursing school, in order to start a job in the specialty I wanted. I was already living in an area far from my family (a few states away); I had married and moved twice, to two different parts of the country, with my then-husband, and then we separated and I entered nursing school after we had been separated for a long time (I finalized the divorce during nursing school).

More recently, in my mid-50s, I picked up and relocated (single, by myself) to take a job in a new, different part of the country because I had run out of opportunities in the rural area I've chosen to live most of my adult life, and my choices were to continue on to retirement underemployed and ticked off about that, or relocate and get my career back on track.

I agree with others that it's not "easy" to relocate and start over in a new area, but it's not the end of the world, either. I think a lot of it has to do with your basic mindset. If you expect to be lonely and miserable, you will be. If you are willing to make an effort to meet new people and establish a new life for yourself, you can do that. I talk to so many people in nursing (and outside of nursing) who talk like they would never, ever consider moving to another area, for school, for their career, for anything. In many disciplines, people move away from home to go to school, and expect that, when they finish school, they will move to wherever they can get a good job when they graduate. No biggie.

It's very "do-able," esp. when you're young and single. Best wishes for your journey!

gennn19, BSN, RN · Oct 12, 2018

I am another one who moved to a different area when I graduated nursing school, in order to start a job in the specialty I wanted. I was already living in an area far from my family (a few states away); I had married and moved twice, to two different parts of the country, with my then-husband, and then we separated and I entered nursing school after we had been separated for a long time (I finalized the divorce during nursing school).
More recently, in my mid-50s, I picked up and relocated (single, by myself) to take a job in a new, different part of the country because I had run out of opportunities in the rural area I've chosen to live most of my adult life, and my choices were to continue on to retirement underemployed and ticked off about that, or relocate and get my career back on track.
I agree with others that it's not "easy" to relocate and start over in a new area, but it's not the end of the world, either. I think a lot of it has to do with your basic mindset. If you expect to be lonely and miserable, you will be. If you are willing to make an effort to meet new people and establish a new life for yourself, you can do that. I talk to so many people in nursing (and outside of nursing) who talk like they would never, ever consider moving to another area, for school, for their career, for anything. In many disciplines, people move away from home to go to school, and expect that, when they finish school, they will move to wherever they can get a good job when they graduate. No biggie.
It's very "do-able," esp. when you're young and single. Best wishes for your journey!

You're so right. Mindset plays a big role in succeeding in making friends and being comfortable in relocating!! Nothing worthwhile is easy. Thank you for your words of encouragement :)

24seiht · Nov 27, 2018

You might consider looking at Jersey City Medical Center. It's right across the Hudson, and if you live anywhere near a PATH station, it's an extremely short $2.10 subway ride. JCMC has a LOT of opportunities for new grads. You could continue living in the city and cross the Hudson 3x for work. Many people do it in both directions. Another option if you're still looking :)

Also on the PATH line is University Hospital in Newark. It's the only state funded hospital in NJ and, with experience there, you will write a golden ticket to any job in the country.

besaangel, ASN, BSN, MSN, CNA, RN, APRN, NP · Jan 22, 2019

Come to Texas