relapse with HPRP

Nurses Recovery

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Hi, I am so scared from yesterday. I knew the day was gonna come, but didn't know when. I recently suffered an ankle injury with has result in multiple superficial achilles tendon tears. One night I was in so much pain and had vicodin left over from some back pain, and I just started taking them. I don't know how many I took, I just kept taking them until the pain had decreased enough for me to fall asleep. It was the middle of the night and I was desperate. And of course my number was picked to drop the same day. I know this is a HUGE mistake and I feel absolutely terrible about it. I am already in a recovery program through HPRP in michigan. My case worker was the one that called me about my positive drug screen yesterday. I immediately lied about it (being caught off guard was not fun). I now have to go meet with my addictionist today at 5pm and confess. This doctor can be very judgemental. I am scared I am going to loose my management job. I almost had 2 years of sobriety. Since HPRP was bought out, the people that work there are very strict. I know other people that relapsed and they just got additional therapy sessions, and 6 months added to their contract, and a narcotic restriction reinstated. Which is fine, since I don't pass narcotics being in management. That would be the best case scenario. Worst case, they report me to the state board, then I will probably have a perminate mark on my license. 5pm can not come soon enough so my fate can be decided. But in the meantime, I have to put a smile on my face, hide my anxiety, and put a smile on my face. Not easy.

Although I have never relasped I know it is within me, just as is in everyone who has an additiction. Honesty as bad as it may scare you at the time is always the best policy. You know we play mind games and try to manipulate the outcome in our favor, when it is going to play out just the way it is suppose. I do not know why the ankle injury happened to you, or why you took pills that a prescription was invalid on, but you will know why when the time comes. Focus on sobreity and let the chips fall where they may. It is what it is and you can not change it. Thanks for posting as it may help someone who is teetering not make that fatal slip.

God bless and keep us posted.

Hello I live in MI and am also under contract with HPRP. I understand your concern about this new company who just took over HPRP. I have had a huge problem with them. I interviewed for a job and what I told them was that I had some personal problems that I self reported so I could get the help and support I needed. I never ever told them I had diverted. My case worker did though and needless to say I did not get the job. I thought our information was private. I am in a huge disagreement right now with HPRP. They are trying to kick me out non compliant. I have had to appeal my case to the board. I have not heard anything yet and I am sitting on pins and needles. I am totally confused. There hand book and web site states our case is confidental. Yet they disclosed my personal information anyway. How am I ever gona get a job if I have to tell anyone I diverted. The job was a drug free place, they didnt have any drugs at there facility at all. I really thought it was a perfect place for me. I could be a nurse and never have to be around drugs ever. Sorry didnt mean to babble. I just saw someone here who understands the fears of this new company and wanted to reach out. I hope the outcome is good for you. I hope they understand your situation and will give you a chance to prove yourself. If you need to talk I am here for you. I do understand. Best of luck

Maybe what happened was that the prospective employer asked about that directly when the caseworker spoke with him/her. You certainly can't expect the caseworker to lie about it. I know it is very, very difficult to disclose that. I diverted also, and that was the FIRST question I was asked at one of my interviews. But, we really can't blame any employer from wanting to know can we?

The purpose of disclosure and monitoring is to protect the patients from unsafe nursing practice. Whether we, as addicts, ever get to work again is irrelevant to Boards of Nursing, Monitoring Programs and the Attorney General.

I do wish you the best of luck with your job search. I am not trying to sound harsh, but you will not achieve any serenity unless you accept the reality of what it really means to be a recovering addict and nurse.

I think with most monitor programs you have to disclose the fact that you are in the monitor program but only to the person who is interviewing you. The person who employes you agrees to send quarterly reports about your performance to The Board. My advice is learn what the rules are so you can be compliant and remain in the program. Find out what the alternative is, you may want to save yourself from experiencing suspension, surrender or worse. Much more difficult to come back from those. Just trying to help you out. I had to take it all the way to the bottom. No fun. I am back, 5 years later, gratefull, would have been so nice to get it when I was in your shoes. Less damage to myself and other's.

Specializes in CRNA, Finally retired.
Hi, I am so scared from yesterday. I knew the day was gonna come, but didn't know when. I recently suffered an ankle injury with has result in multiple superficial achilles tendon tears. One night I was in so much pain and had vicodin left over from some back pain, and I just started taking them. I don't know how many I took, I just kept taking them until the pain had decreased enough for me to fall asleep. It was the middle of the night and I was desperate. And of course my number was picked to drop the same day. I know this is a HUGE mistake and I feel absolutely terrible about it. I am already in a recovery program through HPRP in michigan. My case worker was the one that called me about my positive drug screen yesterday. I immediately lied about it (being caught off guard was not fun). I now have to go meet with my addictionist today at 5pm and confess. This doctor can be very judgemental. I am scared I am going to loose my management job. I almost had 2 years of sobriety. Since HPRP was bought out, the people that work there are very strict. I know other people that relapsed and they just got additional therapy sessions, and 6 months added to their contract, and a narcotic restriction reinstated. Which is fine, since I don't pass narcotics being in management. That would be the best case scenario. Worst case, they report me to the state board, then I will probably have a perminate mark on my license. 5pm can not come soon enough so my fate can be decided. But in the meantime, I have to put a smile on my face, hide my anxiety, and put a smile on my face. Not easy.

WHYwould have have "left over" Vicodin in the house? Think real hard about that.

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