Reference from current manager..what to do??

[HappyNurse2005]

I work at a hospital, have worked on my current unit for a little over 3 years. My manager is a nice lady, i've not had any problems with her. As i work nights, I dont see her too much.

I applied for another job a few months ago, outside of the hospital organization. Interviewed. Was told I was one of top candidates, and therefore, they wanted to speak to current manager. I emailed current manager and told her about applying for new job, that it was related to needing more daytime with no nights/weekends/holidays schedule and nothing to do with current unit. That I enjoyed working for her. That interviewer would be contacting her for a reference. She replied that she understood. Next week, interviewer said she hadn't heard back from current manager. So i emailed current manager and gave her a phone number to call interivewer at. she responded that she would. week after that, interviewer called me and said she still hadn't heard from current manager. dont know what happened after that, b/c interviewer never called me back and the position is re-posted online:crying2:. but when i had my annual review, my current manager asked if i ever heard anything back from interviewer. never indicated if she ever called interviewer.

so, then i applied for PRN job taht wouldn't interfere with hospital job at all. That job called current manager for reference, and she never called her back either. This job hired me anyways, using other references. Though this is a great job, its just PRN, nothing guaranteed at all, and not a replacement for full time work, which is what i want.

so, I applied for another job. interviewed. it went well. she contacted one of my work references, who said good things about me. I had 2 other work references that she did not call. She wants to contact current manager now. So she called current manager yesterday and when i talked to interviewer today, she said current manager hadn't called her back!!!! So she's expecting she might hear from her on Monday.

I'm afriad interviewer won't hear from current manager. That she won't call this one back, either. I dont want to lose this great job b/c of my manager not wanting to give a reference/not calling back. Our current job doesn't have any positions posted-so its not like we are crazy short staffed. I'm not a horrible employee, but im not the best one either. I "met standards" on my evaluation. I dont call in a lot/steal drugs/break protocol.

So what do I do? Im afraid if I do nothing, current manager won't call back and I wont get job. I know she's not obligated to give reference...but interviewer isn't obligated to give me the job without the reference!!

Do I email current manager, sweet talk her and ask for reference? (not ask her to lie but just ask her to talk to interviewer!!) or do I wait, and if interviewer hasn't heard from current manager by monday (3 business days since she called her) ask interviewer to consider other references instead?

arrrggghhh!!! i do not want to lose this potential job!!! what do I do ?

[rn4ever?]

I think her track record is a proof that she will not call and will not be a good reference for another employer. And you said it too, you lost jobs because of that attitude of hers. If she did that before, why would you still insist on making her a reference? Didn’t you get the drift? I think it’s not uncommon that bosses would not feel good when an employee wants to leave-----especially if they are really good employees.

[caliotter3]

I think her track record is a proof that she will not call and will not be a good reference for another employer. And you said it too, you lost jobs because of that attitude of hers. If she did that before, why would you still insist on making her a reference? Didn't you get the drift? I think it's not uncommon that bosses would not feel good when an employee wants to leave-----especially if they are really good employees.

Totally agree. When I found out that a previous manager, after giving me his word that he would be a good reference, was in fact seeing that I couldn't get work, I immediately stopped using his name for a reference.

[HappyNurse2005, RN]

I think her track record is a proof that she will not call and will not be a good reference for another employer. And you said it too, you lost jobs because of that attitude of hers. If she did that before, why would you still insist on making her a reference? Didn't you get the drift? I think it's not uncommon that bosses would not feel good when an employee wants to leave-----especially if they are really good employees.

I dont give her name by choice....they ask to speak to my current manager

I will update when something else happens. I did email her, since I hardly see her, and asked her nicely for a reference, and said that I understood she was not obligated to give one and if she was unable to do it, then I would no longer provide her name. I was also praising her and the job and letting her know I was not looking for other employment b/c of the job-just b/c i need better hours.

I plan on calling interviewer on MOnday afternoon and if she hasn't heard from current manager, offer up other references-charge nurses, coworkers, etc

wish me luck

[Isabel-ANP-BC]

I have always explained that I would prefer they not call my current manager (except in one case where the position was being eliminated). This is not because I don't think I will not get a decent reference, but more because I am concerned that it will create bad feelings at work. I use other RNs who work with me, school, and previous jobs. If it comes down to needed to confirm dates of employment for a job, I will allow them to do that. Most recruiters/HR folks and managers understand. If they don't, I probably don't want to work with them.