Recreational THC = now starting IPN!

Nurses Recovery

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Well...... hello new friends!

As a "new" Registered Nurse of 2 1/2 years @ 43 years old, a part of my "previous life" did not fall away as completely as it should have. A phone call was made ( and I strongly suspect this was by a co-worker who knew too much of my personal life, and who was increasingly aggressive and confrontational with me at work over the last several months.... regardless of that fact, however, I OWN this now and here I am.... )

This occured last Thursday. I was escorted to HR by mgmt., and then went to give blood & urine. Prior to this, when asked by HR if I "thought it could be positive" I simply, honestly stated, "Yes, it's possible." I did this because I truly feel I have nothing to hide, and I have already been fussed at for #1.) Admitting this - - but if my credibility is all I have, it MUST remain intact!!!! and #2.) For not resigning before submitting to testing. Hmmm...... never occured to me, and seems a wee bit shady anyway......

I know the test will come back (+) and have already made initial calls to IPN to self-report and to an attorney who advised me and told me to call her if things with IPN get bad.... (((( ?!?!?!?! :eek: )))) I am fully trusting this process and HOPE I am not naive in doing so....... All that is in my head is "BE HONEST! BE HONEST!! THIS HAS HAPPENED AND YOU HAVE TO OWN IT!!!! :cry:

I see alot of good & bad posts about IPN but what gives me hope is the people that say, "Do what they tell you & you will be OK" or "It's hard, but it becomes a way of life and you can do it" or "you will be stronger" or "the time will pass anyway"

The journey and success of becoming an RN changed my life in many profound ways and I will do everything in my power to protect & preserve my license!!!! NOTHING matters more.... I am NOT struggling with concerns of withdrawal or replacing my "buzz" in any way...... I am not sipping wine as I write this!!!

I am also pretty hopeful, as the attorney stated if I am diagnosed at a level that is a need for "Education" and is not addiction/dependancy, that this is taken into consideration.....

Is anyone else in a similar situation?!?!?! A first-time offender, recreational user, no polysubstance use...... I would love to connect with those in a similar situation........... I know this is going to take months to start and years to end...... I would appreciate any and all feedback.......!!!!!

Thank you for listening to my story and I wish you well!!!!!!!!:redbeathe

.... "CLEAN AND SERENE"..... THERE is my new screen name!!!! :up::heartbeat:nurse::yeah:

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I have to let you all know that at 1:27 this afternoon, I received the call from my IPN caseworker that she had just dictated my completion letter, effective today, and that it should go out in the mail tomorrow......!!!! :yeah::nurse::w00t:

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Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.

HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hi Honest&hopeful&hurt!

I myself am going through something very similar at this moment. I was hoping you could give me some words of wisdom? :)

Thanks!

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WOW!!! I just finished reading your entire thread HONEST&HOPEFUL&HURT.

First off, I'd like to thank you for being so informative and taking time to post and update on this website while you were going through this horribly difficult situation! Reading your experience has helped me emotionally (I've been a wreck since this started yesterday). I can only pray that my experience goes as well as yours did!

I had an injury on duty and went to the health office to get checked out, I knew very well the process, but had no inkling in my mind that my urine test would come back positive for thc!!!! I am not a drug user, so I very happily peed and went about my day...I had totally forgotten that just a week or so prior to this I had taken a few puffs (my first and only time ever) of a joint from a friend. It was my b-day and I was off for a few days so I thought "ah why not?" OMG!!! Now I know why not! :'(

I received a very short and rude phone call telling me that I am positive for marijuana! ALL AT ONCE THAT DAY FLASHED BACK IN MY MIND!!!! I wanted to just die, then and there!!!

Needless to say, the very next day I approached my manager, and I of course explained that I have never done any sort of drugs in my life! TALK ABOUT BAD TIMING? BAD DECISIONS! and BAD LUCK!!!!

They are being very supportive, promising me that they do not want to lose me as one of their best nurses! I am now on a 5 day leave of absence. (but reading thru all this it looks like I may be out of work for much longer or permenantly huh?! :'(

SO...I just got off the phone with IPN, she also was short with me, asked me some general questions and told me to wait for my packet in the mail with the info. to go to an MD for evaluation. I guess my question is now what? What am I supposed to say to this MD?!?! I don't have any problems with drugs, but will they believe me?! I have been researching and learned that thc stays in your fat cells for up to a month! I'm soooooo nervous and scared of losing my license and my job.

What do I do?!

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Specializes in PICU, ICU, Hospice, Mgmt, DON.

Dear OR Baby,

First of all, you take a deep breath. What's done is done. I am truely sorry for your trouble.

Now, what to do. You mentioned the IPN. I assume you are in Florida...that's the name of our program..that's where I am too.

It's not a lot of fun, but it is doable.

But, first...you said you are to go to see an MD, that is the addictionologist.

The evaluation is rather lengthy, just tell the truth. Whether or not you have to go through any sort of treatment prior to entering a contract with the IPN and the terms of the contract is determined on the evaluation of this one doctor. You asked in your post "what do I say to this MD"...really, you say exactly what happened. In a clear and concise manner.

Be prepared to have the Doctor and the IPN not believe that this was the first time you had tried marijuana.

They hear hundreds of cases and many if not most people are in denial....I am not saying you are...I am just saying they may find this rather hard to believe.

I don't know if this would be accurate or not, but maybe you could ask to have a hair analysis done....maybe that would show you had not used pot in the past...I honestly don't know...I am just trying a long shot here.

Because, I think you will probably have to enter the IPN.

I can't stress enough to be honest and compliant with everyone....you shouldn't lose your license if you enter the IPN, in fact the BON won't even know...that's what the IPN is there for...your job is another story.

I guess that will be up to your facility and it's policies. It will also depend on whether or not the MD recommeds any sort of treatment for you, such as Intensive Outpatient treatment (or IOP) the IPN does not allow you to work as a nurse while undergoing treatment...but I don't want to get ahead of anything here. You may not need anything.

Has your facility responded besides the 5 day leave?...

We on this thread, have pretty much been where you are right now.....you are probably at the LOW point...

It will get better..once all of the unknown goes away and you know what you have to do or not do....

Not knowing is so hard.

Good Luck.

Keep us posted

diva rn

(feel free to pm me if you would like)

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THANKS SOOO much for responding diva rn!

Yes, I am most definitely @ a low point right now! :'( I am taking all you have said into thought. Would they consider a hair analysis? OMG I would prob have to pay for that myself wouldn't I?! Sounds very costly. But at this point what can I do but pay up huh?!

Another question I have is, should I consult an attorney? I have been reading and researching for hours on end and have heard both ok stories and horror stories about IPN. Many many people advise to seek legal consultation.

You are so right, the unknown is what is scaring me the most! Not that once I know the plan it will be any better. :/

My facility was pretty cooperative and said they'd work with me, although I do not think they'll hold my job if I get sent to any lengthy treatment or anything of that sort.

I feel helpless! All I can do is keep telling myself that this all must have happened for a reason right?! whew.

So, as long as I cooperate with whatever plan the IPN and this MD suggests for me, then the BON should never even find out about this? I have read of many nurses who get a restriction put on their licenses, in your opinion could this happen to me!?!?!

Just out of curiosity, I'm sure it's a bit different with each MD but more or less, what does this eval. consist of? Will I have to give a UA right off the bat, and submit random UAs every week or something? I know these are all contingent upon what happens with the eval. but you know how it is, I am so nervous about the future. I'm so scared that no matter what, from what I've been reading I'll probably end up with a minimum of outpatient treatment for God knows how long, and a 2 yr contract. Am I jumping to conclusions? I am a worried mess! Needless to say I guess!

I TRULY appreciate your reply diva rn, and if ANYONE out there has ANY helpful info or just experience similar to mine PLEASE PLEASE post! This thread has been my little bit of saving grace to know that so many of us have been through this and worse.

I feel so so so stupid, this has been the most idiotic thing I have ever done in my life and it pains to think that I am probably going to lose my job for it. Not only lose my job but probably make it even harder to find another job.

If my employer lets me go after the MD eval. and I go through this whole crazy lengthy process, whatever it may be...do I have to tell any future prospective employers that I had to go through IPN even if there is nothing on my record/license? I have no clue about these things. Sorry the post is so long!

THANKS A MILLION!

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Specializes in PICU, ICU, Hospice, Mgmt, DON.
thanks sooo much for responding diva rn!

yes, i am most definitely @ a low point right now! :'( i am taking all you have said into thought. would they consider a hair analysis? omg i would prob have to pay for that myself wouldn't i?! sounds very costly. but at this point what can i do but pay up huh?! you would have to ask the md if they would consider that. and yes it would be up to you to pay for it if they would.

another question i have is, should i consult an attorney?that is really a personal choice. i can not advise you of that. i did not. but, many nurses have. if you do, make. sure it is one with board experience

i have been reading and researching for hours on end and have heard both ok stories and horror stories about ipn. many many people advise to seek legal consultation.

you are so right, the unknown is what is scaring me the most! not that once i know the plan it will be any better. :/

my facility was pretty cooperative and said they'd work with me, although i do not think they'll hold my job if i get sent to any lengthy treatment or anything of that sort.

i feel helpless! all i can do is keep telling myself that this all must have happened for a reason right?! whew. that is usually the case. only you know what that reason is.

so, as long as i cooperate with whatever plan the ipn and this md suggests for me, then the bon should never even find out about this? i have read of many nurses who get a restriction put on their licenses, in your opinion could this happen to me!?!?!

correct, if you entered the ipn voluntarily and are compliant, the bon will not know about it. you will complete your contract and that's it. that's provided your facility did not call the bon and you were board ordered to the ipn, but it doesn't sound that way.

just out of curiosity, i'm sure it's a bit different with each md but more or less, what does this eval. consist of?

the evaluation is basically just sitting and talking to this doctor. he or she will ask you your past history with drugs/alcohol etc, family, work..and what happened exactly to bring you to this point..again-be totally honest.

will i have to give a ua right off the bat, and submit random uas every week or something?oh no! even if you have to enter into the ipn, you won't get a contract for many weeks after the evaluation. then the uds are about every month.

i know these are all contingent upon what happens with the eval. but you know how it is, i am so nervous about the future. i'm so scared that no matter what, from what i've been reading i'll probably end up with a minimum of outpatient treatment for god knows how long, and a 2 yr contract. am i jumping to conclusions? i am a worried mess! needless to say i guess!out patient treatment is usually 9 hours a week for i think 8 weeks..but it might have been 12 weeks. the contracts are usually 5 years though.

i truly appreciate your reply diva rn, and if anyone out there has any helpful info or just experience similar to mine please please post! this thread has been my little bit of saving grace to know that so many of us have been through this and worse. well, for example, there are over 1,200 nurses in ipn right now.

i feel so so so stupid, this has been the most idiotic thing i have ever done in my life and it pains to think that i am probably going to lose my job for it. not only lose my job but probably make it even harder to find another job.

if my employer lets me go after the md eval. and i go through this whole crazy lengthy process, whatever it may be...do i have to tell any future prospective employers that i had to go through ipn even if there is nothing on my record/license? i have no clue about these things. sorry the post is so long!while you are in ipn you must tell all prospective employers and all actual employers you are in--because they must fill out quarterly progress reports and send them to ipn...however..once you complete your contract and you are out...you never have to divulege that to anyone anytime anywhere.

so, no, you would not have to tell that to any future employers after the contract is completed.

thanks a million!

good luck...:p just calm down and take a deep breath!! you will get through this....we all did.

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I dont think the "education" route will work. You are a nurse, nurses are educated in this area are they not? A lawyer seems like a great idea but you cant fight city hall. You will be given the choice to enter IPN that you may continue to nurse or not. This will be your choice and your choice only. You can be labeled as someone who has abused drugs and not someone dependant or addicted to drugs. Either way you wont be the one making that decision. IPN evaluators, facilitators, therapists will all have a role in determining your level of monitoring but they cant effect your ability to overcome and continue to work successfully, that will be up to you. All that will be required of you is attainable. There are a lot of IPN nurses that are successful. At first everything is very confusing and it seems impossible but it is the only way. You will meet lots of nurses that can direct you through dealing with IPN and adhering to your contract, take all there help and appreciate the fact that IPN is available to us, it seems we would be S O L when it comes to working as a nurse any other way. Good Luck. Things will come at you fast, just remember that you are not alone.:)

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Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
I dont think the "education" route will work. You are a nurse, nurses are educated in this area are they not? :)

Sadly, nurses, physicians, pharmacists and other health care providers are poorly educated (if at all) about the disease of addiction. Why waste time when this isn't "really a disease"? Just read numerous posts on this site and other nursing web sites...many don't "believe" in the disease model despite the volume of research available. Health care professions have a long way to go when it comes to this disease.

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Jackstem & Diva RN, thanks for joining in here... I only just now got one email notice of any of these recent threads.... :confused:

Dear OR Baby... bless you heart, I sooooo feel for you right now... just *BREATHE* and know that we are here for you!!! It is VERY OVERWHELMING when this first happens... so I will do my best to address all your concerns.

First: I called the Florida Nurses Association ((anonymously)) the day after this all happened, and was given the name of an attorney who basically said "Call me if you have any touble" as she reinforced to me that at this point, IPN is the ONLY OPTION to protect my license. You are positive for an illegal substance. PERIOD. And, I was also on a "leave of absence", and two-weeks after I peed, I went back to fill out my termination paperwork... I, too, was told by my employers that they did not want to lose me, but with pot, it is illegal, and that is a game-changer versus being impaired with alcohol or Rx drugs... it also prevented me from collecting unemployment and the financial impact of the whole situation was very difficult... Sorry to say, but you should prepare yourself for that!!!

Next, when you self-report to IPN, it is Voluntary, and the BON only comes into play if you are non-compliant with IPN and are dismissed from the program. The IPN program is in place to PROTECT you, PROTECT your license, and PROTECT your patients safety because you are now officially an Impaired Nurse... :eek:

So, this is where the initial eval with the Forensic Addiction Psychologist comes in, and has you have been told, TELL THE TRUTH. I would disagree a bit about being prepared for them to think you are lying, though... I KNEW I was not addicted, and that it was recreational and a bad choice and all that.... and they WILL see this as you proceed... these people are EXPERTS and dealing with addiction, and they will see the absence or presence of that addiction. My Addictionologist ended our hour session by stating, "clearly this is just a case of recreational use" and then asked me why I wasn't married yet..... WHAT?!?!?! Anyway, I paid $400 to hear that.... Financially, I think I mentioned at some point, I had to empty + $4,000 out of my IRA to pay for my 8 weeks of IOP treatment, so be prepared... As far as the hair sample, ironically, it is more common to get a false-negative because the metabolites from THC do not bond well to hair at all, and you will look clean on hair when it is in urine and/or blood.....

I hate to say, but I would be prepared to lose your job... I hope you do not, but the hospitals cannot risk setting any precendents or having any backlash from previous employees who WERE terminated for the same thing if someone else is not... it is all about the legal matters of policy and the illegal matter of THC...

Lastly, you cannot work while you are in treatment (20 weeks total) 4 - 5 months.... 8 weeks of initial Intensive Outpatient Treatment and 12 weeks of Aftercare - - another financial hardship - - and, when you are released to return to practice, you will be under you IPN contract for monitoring and are REQUIRED to notify the potential employer at the point the job offer is extended to you... However, I busted it out during my initial interview, and my honesty paid off.... FOLLOW YOUR GUT at all times!!!!

Please let us know how you are doing... it WILL get better as you settle into your *new normal* as hard as it is to believe now.... Let us know if you have any other questions!!! Hope this helps!!!

*(*(*(*HUGS*)*)*)*

:redpinkhe:nurse:

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HI!! Thanks sooooooooo much for replying!!! WOW! All this info is very helpful, I am such a mess, it's been a month now since I peed, and have lost my job. I have my evaluation scheduled for later this week...please help!!

Who was your evaluator? What kinds of questions did he ask? Do you feel he/she was fair?

I am a depressed, wreck. All I do is cry, I wake in the middle of the night with heart palpitations and sweating from the anxiety of all of this. And now I realize it's going to take even longer than I could of imagined! I am soooo scared that I am already labeled as a "loser pot head" in this person's eyes, no matter how far from the truth that is in reality. :'( :'(

I feel helpless, hopeless, I'm driving my husband crazy, my family is wondering why I'm not working, and I truly don't have an addiction, so I don't want to get into that with them. I feel so stupid, and I feel like no matter what, this is such a bad situation.

I realize, that it could be worse, of course, but this is all relative and i am drowning in my thoughts and the unknown of my future!

Did you work in another field while you were out of nursing? Is it even possible to work with those random drug tests?

I'm sorry that I have so many questions, if you can pleeeeeese email me, it would mean the world to me. You seem to be the only person that has gone thru this because of THC, everyone else is on a diversion case, and I am not sure if it is all handled the same way?!!

I truly truly appreciate your time honest&hopeful&hurt (that's just how I am feeling!) right now

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