Really disappointed with the reality of nursing.

[NurseFrustrated]

Anyone else feel the same?

When I was in nursing school, I was so excited to get finished and get a job. I thought I would enjoy doing nursing tasks all day...meds, IVs, injections, dressing changes, catheters, charting. I was so proud to tell people I was becoming a nurse. I would be making all of this good money. My job would be exciting all day long. I would be helping people. I would get respect...

But 5 years later, ha! What a joke! Don't get me wrong. I am grateful to have a degree. I am grateful to have a job in this bad economy, but nursing sure turned out to be a disappointment. I never thought that I would be worked to death the way nurses are. I never thought I would be talked to like a dog the way I am by patients, their families, people from other departments, and some doctors. I never thought bosses would be so quick to stab you in the back and try to get you in trouble. I thought I would be a valued employee and appreciated for what I did because I am a nurse who truly has a heart, cares about my patients, likes to get along well with others, and work as a team.

Instead, as a nurse you are treated like a peon. You have a team of 6-8 patients and are running like a mad woman to take care of all of them properly while your boss sits on her butt looking for any one tiny thing you might miss (while not offering to lift a finger to help you). Families sit in the room watching you like a hawk assuming you are going to hurt their family member. Griping because you have to turn people with skin issues or check for incontinence. Griping because you have to change an IV. The other day I had a family member sitting there watching me like a hawk as I had to change the patient's IV. Mind you the patient was an obese lady with huge arms and had had to have deep lines in the past. She said to me very rudely, "You get ONE stick, then somebody else is gonna do it." Then proceeded to stand and watch me with her arms folded across her chest. Excuse me, since when does the family dictate my job? That really burnt me up. Fortunately I got her IV on the first stick, but I have to take crap like that from people or I would probably be written up by my manager. I never thought nursing would be like this. When I visited people in the hospital before I was a nurse I had respect for the medical staff and would never dream of talking to them the way I am talked to.

You are blamed for everything. Doctor comes in late today? Nurse is yelled at about it by family. Doctor changes a medicine and doesn't tell the family about it? Nurse is grilled about it. Lab wakes you up early for blood draw? Nurse is yelled at about it. Doc orders stat MRI at 5 pm on a Friday? Nurse is yelled at about it by Radiology. Assistant doesn't check patient for incontinence while nurse is trying to start an IV in another room? Nurse is yelled at about it by family. Medicine is late from pharmacy? Nurse is yelled at about it. Dietary doesn't send up a food tray for a patient? Nurse is yelled at about it. We can do nothing right. It has really been disheartening. We go into nursing to help people and instead are treated like crap. I can honestly say that nursing is the job I have felt I have been the least respected in of all the jobs I have ever had. It has just been very disappointing. Maybe I am just venting because I have had a bad week, but just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? I WANT to like nursing because I spent all of this time getting this degree and getting licensed but wow.

[Taryn963]

Dear NurseFrustrated, I am 51 and have been a nurse for 28 years. Can't believe it has been that long. I totally feel for you; been there. One thing I did, is when I got truly fed up, I took a mental health break. Whenever a coworker would grip, and really did not want to be there (in nursing) I would suggest they look for another outlet, as they were so truly miserable, and sad...and that isn't good for ANYBODY involved.

So....after becoming totally outraged by the worst DON ever, I took my own advice, and I worked in a box store (you know the one) took a 70% pay cut, during the Christmas season, in the toy department, the year of "Tickle Me Elmo". Yup. Total insanity in the toy department, frantic parents calling, coming in, arguing as two different hands reach for the last box on the shelf, putting their names on the reserve list....HAD TO HAVE ELMO!!!! What did I do? I SMILED. Because nobody was gonna DIE if their Elmo didn't come in before the 25th! I went home, enjoyed my family, and FORGOT about work. What a freaking concept!!! So from October til January, I was "tickled" to death :)

I returned to nursing after my 3 month hiatus. I felt refreshed and realized how much I had missed nursing, warts and all. Today, in this economy, I could not do that, as there would be a huge chance of not finding a job once my escape was over. Plus, I had a husband who could cover that income gap.

Whenever I get frantic, feel unappreciated by management, and rude doctors, scared family members (rarely by patients, tho, and that is what keeps us going, right?!) I just remember Elmo. I remember that I do have a CHOICE...I can choose to work in a job with less responsibility, less pay, less insurance, less benefits, and less heartfelt grief when it all doesn't end well, and that patient dies. The fact that financially it would now be impossible (that still means I made that CHOICE to stay) is just in the Con column.

The Pro column....when my patient, a dying, 94 year old little old lady reaches up, and puts her hand on my face, in a touching caress, after I spent precious time sitting next to her, trying to lessen her anxiety and fear, she shares with me her sadness about leaving her family, and says, "Thank you" never knowing that her action just made MY day! Then there is that hug from family when their loved one has died, and they thank you for the wonderful care you gave, for helping them understand the process, for that kindness that was so small, but so appreciated at the time. And there is that sense of pride and wonder that that 21 year old girl, who 5 months before was in a car wreck, and had such TBI, it was felt by Neuro to be a 10% chance she would regain ANY of herself, and she is thinking and speaking normally, remembers her life, and uses her laptop to facebook with friends after her therapy, and you watch her WALK out the door, smiling and saying "Thank you, but I won't be visiting!" with a devilish grin.

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble....just realized I still love my job.

I guess what I just wrote is, when it all seems like a waste of effort, and I cry or fume after being made to feel like the maid, not a nurse, I still cling to the "wins." It has kept me going, I hope you remember and cling to your wins, too.

[martinhea13]

There is a proverb that says, "when someone chooses to give you the gift of anger, and you refuse it, to whome does the gift belong?". We can choose not to accept the attacks on our self from others.... It's their anger after all, isn't it? So if we could just realize that we can acknowledge peoples anger or disappointment in us without internalizing it we might just have a formula for surviving the "con's" of nursing practice.

I'll never forget your Elmo story. Thanks for this.

[silmas RN]

I worked in hospitals for over 35 yrs. My Mom was a nurse in the 40's and 50's. She prepared me for the horrors of nursing and tried to talk me out of going to nursing school. I never expected it to be like General Hospital on TV. Given the choice, I would do it again.

[TNCC RN Guy]

OP, perhaps you are taking such events way too personally. Both my wife and myself have these experiences with patients are RNs, as does almost every other nurse. If it's not my fault, I just don't take it personally. People vent, that's an unfortunate fact. If I inadvertently did something to deserve it, I'll take my medicine. If not, I'll try to determine what needs to happen to remedy the situation. Families and patients can be angry, but I've rarely had them personally attack me when I keep this outlook. You can express frustration to me without it becoming a personal vendetta. In any job involving customer service, separating our natural tendency as humans to take another persons anger personally, anger that is often not directed at us but the situation at hand, is essential to avoid a very miserable and unhappy work life.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

I knew i had picked the wrong profession my first day of nursing school. The instructors were barracudas who made it seem like being a nurse was rocket science. They were old, unattractive, single,childless, and extremely passive-aggressive.

Most of the education focused on care-planning . . . science, math, statistics--stuff we rarely use as a nurse. Nursing instructors need to let their students know in the first semester that they will be abused for no reason by doctors, patients, family members, co-workers, ancillary staff, and management, and classes should be aimed at assisting the nurses to deal with the awful realities of this: drug abuse, alcoholism, suicide, depression, and anxiety.

There was not a single class on how to deal with difficult patients, family members, co-workers, or management, or how to actually survive in this profession, which is where nursing education really needs to focus. ... I am not saying science and math are unimportant, just that more attention, or at least some attention, needs to be on interpersonal skills. If nursing education does not address the above issues nursing will always have a high turnover, especially in acute care settings--for example, med-surg/tele (i can't imagine a more horrible place to start out as a nurse). Just look at where travelers are needed the most--med-surg/tele--the absolute worst place to work in a hospital.

WOW - just wow. If everything was so wrong from day #1, why in the world did you continue? I also take exception to the extremely insulting description of nursing instructors. And - the opinion that all nursing students are going to be abused - by everyone they encounter, it seems. Where is this coming from?

So the focus of nusing education should be on propping up the students - providing them with the coping skills needed to 'survive' so they don't have to resort to drug abuse, alcohol, depression and suicide??? Funny, I have always thought the focus should be patient care. I don't know of any basic professional education that is intended to address the mental health of the students.

[carlanocnurse]

The working atmosphere you describe is why most of my nursing class (BSN) left hospital work for anything else ASAP! I work in LTC, on the night shift, and absolutely love it. I have more independence, no one breathing down my neck, and I get to do actually nursing. I know it isn't for everyone, but it works for me. I hope you'll find a job or an area that you really love. You're needed, and you make a difference everyday, even if you're the only one who knows that.

[PEBBLES1]

Here is something I hate also. When Pt's have on diapers who are not incontinenent and the refuse to use the bedside commode. I have a pts family members get mad with me because I couldn't change her mother soon as she soiled her diaper. Now never mind my other pt was crashing on me and I did explain to them my pt was very sick and they told me so what. At that point I just walked out of the room. Oh and did I mention the pt was able to use the commode. I love my job but as nurses I feel like Rodney Dangerfield. No respect

[cebuana_nurse]

Nursing school has never prepared any of its students to the reality of nursing. i wish I had known this before I signed for a 4-year degree. Though nursing has its good and bad days. Unfortunately, the bad outweighs the good. We became nurses for the simple fact that we wanna be there for our patients, advocate for them and care for them when none of their family can. Everytime I come in to work, I always hope that in the 28 residents that I care for, at least 1 or 2 would say thank you and that would make my day.

As a nurse, we need to be positive in looking at things and put out a smile despite our very bad days. It usually helps you get through your shift.

[kickmeiamanurse]

I come here to see if I'm alone on this. I'm happy to see I'm not. But not happy we have to go through this. I had a family member last night that chewed my ass out for about an hour for all the things she didn't like about the facility and how her loved one was being cared for. None of it was anything I did or didn't do. I did not have an hour to spare, seeing as though they pulled a nurse from my unit and I had to take her work load which happens EVERY night. People are getting fired for missing simple little things when they are putting us in a dangerous nurse patient ratio. I had 32 patients not to mention their families I have to cater to. I don't know if it's the places I've worked or if it's the career. I don't know what to do. I'm thinking of going back to my office type work. I don't know.

[wiley6coyote]

I took a break from nursing and swore I would never go back- the best feeling in the world was getting on the elevator and walking out of the hospital for the last time. Now. years later I returned and I love it. I work in LTC and would never go back to hospital nursing. LTC definitely has it's issues but my attitude is I try to be the very best that I can be when I'm working- I put 110% into it and if that is not good enough well I can hold my head up anyway. I find in general, the public is ruder, more demanding and narcisstic than ever before. I don't have any real advice for you except maybe it's time to look at a different area of nursing - something that will ignite the passion again for you. All the best.

[saucychaucy]

This is beautiful, thanks for posting!

[saucychaucy]

This is a very inspirational poem from an R.N. named Melodie Chenevert.

This poem beautifully portrays what nursing means to me and maybe should be on the application to nursing school!

Being a NURSE means..........

You will NEVER be bored.

You will ALWAYS be frustrated.

You will be surrounded by CHALLENGES,

.........SO MUCH TO DO AND SO LITTLE TIME.

You will carry IMMENSE responsibility and VERY LITTLE authority.

You will step into people's lives and YOU WILL make a DIFFERENCE.

Some will BLESS you, some will CURSE you.

You will see people at their WORST and at their BEST.

You will never cease to be AMAZED at peoples capacity for LOVE, COURAGE and ENDURANCE.

You will see life BEGIN and you will see it END.

You will experience resounding TRIMUPHS and devastating FAILURES.

You will CRY a lot.

You will LAUGH a lot.

You will know what it is to be HUMAN and to be HUMANE.

Nursing is not everyones cup of tea........I do think there is a lot of reality shock when nurses graduate and enter the real world. The shock I blame on shcools for not preparing the grads on what it is really like out there. IMHO I believe nursing instructors should have bedside experience to better portray the realities of nursing. It's a great profession don't give up too easily. We all hate our jobs one time or another but there are good aspects as well as bad in any position. The best thing for me has always been the patients............I have met such amazing people.....living history.

Oops, meant to respond to this quote :-) Thanks for posting this!