"Why don't you just be a doctor?"

[laceface24]

Last night, I was approached by a gentleman, and after a few minutes of small chat, he asked what I was in school for. Proudly, I said "nursing", and he gave me a not so nice look, and replied with "Why don't you be a doctor?". I was immediately thrown off, and very annoyed that this man viewed nurses as not being "good enough". Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Can you please tell me what you said back? I said "I admire the job of a nurse more than a doctor, and can't imagine doing anything else." I can't help but be annoyed by people that have NO idea what kind of work it is to be a nurse!

[tjstrong]

I got that a lot when I was starting NRS classes(at 50) mostly from Doctors who are also friends. I was pre-med in the 70's but had a bad motorcycle wreck and went to work in the oil fields when I could walk again.(nearly 2 years)

My grades are good enough...but when I explain that if I went to Med school now by the time I graduate and pay off my loans I'll have to retire. And at the same time I would be taking the slot from a 20 something who could practice for 50 yrs....THAT they respect. (plus they know me well enough to pity the young Dr. that tries to push people around)

It doesn't help that everybody thinks I look just like "House".

[ekramona]

I usually explain that medicine and nursing are different approaches, and I chose nursing because it focuses on wellness whereas medicine focuses on illness.

[WondeR.N.]

ekramona said what I was going to say. Doctors and nurses have completely different approaches. They perform two different functions that complement each other. A lot of people are still of the mindset that doctors are nurses' bosses, and that nurses just do the docs' dirty work--that's how it was just a few decades ago. I just changed careers to go into nursing with the ultimate goal of becoming an NP. Docs are so specialized these days, and they simply don't have the availability to develop relationships with their patients; that's why I think being an NP is a better choice for me. Nursing schools focus on treating the whole patient, putting all the pieces from different specialties and disciplines together and managing all of them so all patient needs are met. As nurses, we can become highly specialized later, but our background and training remain broad. You're not going to be able to enlighten everyone or change some old-timers' minds, but you can have simple canned responses that explain the difference without disparaging the docs.

[musiclovinpisces]

I'm pretty sure that was just a severe case of ignorance. I haven't encountered that (yet) but I'm sure someday I will! I think a lot of people are for lack of a better word, ignorant. They have no clue who's a nurse and who's not when they go to the hospital. So, you know they have no idea what it means to be a nurse. Just let it roll off. The world is full of idiots and you've got studying to do! lol

[dnnc52]

Ah the image of nursing! I would like to suggest you to read some of Suzanne Gordon "From Silence to Voice" What nurses know and must communicate to the public, the book is about 10yrs old but still great reading as well as anything S. Gordon writes about nursing and healthcare. I do not know why if your a good nurse that the public or patients think it's a compliment to say things like ' you could have been a doctor". I really think that they mean no harm, but it's so common. Male nurses hear this all the time, and then again the media does not help these situations as well.

[insa]

I haven't been asked that yet, but when the question comes my reply will be, "Because I'm rather vain and I wanted to go into the more prestigious profession."

[annacat]

I have a feeling that this gentlemen's comment was more about him being uncomfortable and insecure than anything else. I have found that family members of patients are often very nervous and can come across as angry or judging because they are not in their familiar environment and want to gain some control. I often get advice that I didn't ask for from family members, especially the older men. I think that this advice comes from a place of wanting to be seen as being able to offer something to the situation. I would not take this man's advice too serously. He is dating himself with it. Was he an older man?

Doctors do not have an easy road. While they do have more status in our society nurses are more trusted. I would say that an appropriate response to this man would be to smile and tell him the main reason you chose to become a nurse.

Communication is a lost art in our culture. If this man had been a better communicator he would have put more thought into his comment. As a nursing student you are under a lot of stress. You are constantly having to explain yourself, you are not being paid, you are possibly worried about your job prospects and student loans once you graduate. This man did not need to undermine your self confidence to try to make himself feel better.

Keep going! We support you!

[DWYL2010]

Wow, reading this helped me too... I'm a senior in high school getting ready to study nursing in the fall and I've gotten the same question at least once. But I was never interested in becoming a doctor, since I wanted to really care for people like Nurses get to do. Plus years in med school? I respect doctors, but it's not for me!

[nursenow]

i think i learned the answer to why he did that when i was at the beginning of nursing school. it is a cultural thing. you have to understand where he is coming from and why he would have that opinion. get used to other cultures with different beliefs than yours or you are in for a pretty rough ride as a nurse.

he was raised in a completely different culture from you(time in history) and it is, to an point, expected that he would have different beliefs than you. to him it is just as strange that you want to be a nurse as it is strange to you that he thinks it is strange (say that five times really fast!) if you are lucky, you are going to live long enough to be an old person with beliefs that may be different than some youngster. part of nursing is not being insulted by other cultures but instead having a first reaction of trying to understand why they would say/believe certain things and if you cant understand, then just roll with it.

[wannabecnl]

I agree with Ilg and a later poster who encouraged us to not get so hot under the collar about a question like this. I wasn't there and didn't hear this man's tone, but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he's a misogynistic boor with no communication skills. Maybe he was really just curious!

Think back 30 years; when I was a kid, if a little girl said she wanted to be a doctor, just as many people asked her why she didn't want to be a nurse instead. That's all changed; women become doctors all the time. It wasn't my choice, but it was a choice, not a conscription! Letting women choose what they want to do for a career means sometimes they will choose to be physicians and sometimes they will choose to be nurses. Either is a noble profession; both are motivated by a desire to help people, and each has advantages and disadvantages.

Let's not get so defensive about being nurses or nursing students; it undermines the nursing profession when we always feel we have to prove ourselves, especially by running physicians down. We're the most trusted profession. Jobs are tight, but that's true of every sector, and healthcare is bound to bounce back. We're developing a real research base, and nurses are better educated now than ever before. Every person I tell I'm in nursing school is thrilled for me, including physicians (my doctor, a woman, said she was happy I was going into nursing because she would have a hard time recommending med school to a woman who wanted to raise her own kids, as I had the chance to do before starting school; her sacrifice is my gain, as she's a wonderful doc, but I know it takes a lot out of her to be away from her children). Nurses all tell me it's fantastic and that I can go anywhere I want with it. Why on earth would I feel defensive?

Yes, I could have gone to medical school. A huge number of my nursing school classmates could have, too. I'm not offended when someone asks me a question like this, because I've asked myself the same thing, and my answer is always the same: I like the holistic nature of nursing, and I look forward to the flexibility to try new areas of practice and keep the patient at the center of my focus. Don't run down the docs; we're all supposed to be on the same side.

[anon456, BSN, RN]

I have had that comment several times, too. I like what my instructor said once-- Doctors treat diseases. Nurses treat the people who have the diseases. I will use that as a reply. Or I will say that doctors give 15 minute care while nurses give 24 hour care.

[allthaticanbe]

As a medical student I have been taught to treat the PERSON who has the disease. So please tell your nursing instructor that she shouldn't place all physicians into a box.

I'll ask my cousin a Family Doctor from Canada who now works at a volunteer clinic in Kenya whether she treats the "People". Or my old physiology professor who spends his summer in India along with four other doctors treating the "disease".

Sorry I needed to Vent as I hate when people say that. Its quite rude as its basically saying doctors only care about the curing the actual illness regardless of the emotional state of the person. Please lets not paint everyone with one brush. BECAUSE ITS JUST NOT FAIR!!!

Anyways carry on.....:)