"What could you know?!"

[HeartsOpenWide]

I am a childless married student. I am waiting to have children until after I am done with school for many reasons (financial, could not give children attention I would want and studies at the same time, I am still young ect...)

I figure once I get my CNM I will want to practice a few years before I get pregnant. I was wondering from those of you midwives that deliver babies and have never delivered your own, get comments about "How could you tell me to keep it up, you'll be okay if you have never done this before!?!?!" or somthing along that line? How do you handle a situation like that?

[angelladyclaire]

I asked because my mother in law has asked me (more than once too) how are you going to deliver a baby and coach a woman if you have never done it yourself.

She once made a comment about a local female OB/GYN saying "How can Dr.****** be any good, she has never even had children herself!"

I find this amusing... At least a female OB/GYN, whether or not she has children, has a uterus! If having personal experience in what you're treating mattered when quality of care is concerned, all male OB/GYNs would be out of business by now!

My reply to anyone who questions a childless nurse midwife's competency would be that labor is different to every woman. Even if you have children, you can't tell what is going to work for another mom to be. The nurse midwife has experienced many deliveries and has a broad base of knowledge when it comes to a variety of situations. This is how any medical professional becomes competent to practice.

[Danelle]

I asked because my mother in law has asked me (more than once too) how are you going to deliver a baby and coach a woman if you have never done it yourself.

She once made a comment about a local female OB/GYN saying "How can Dr.****** be any good, she has never even had children herself!"

My OB/GYN is female and has never had children and my husband and I absolutely love her! I could not imagine having anyone else support me during my delivery.

I do understand where you are coming from though, my mother did not approve of my child's first pediatrician because she did not have children.(she was a wonderful Dr., by the way) That pediatrician moved away and we switched to one that happens to be a mother of 4, so, of course, Mom is now satisfied.

[tuppence]

Gosh, I don't even know if my midwives or any of my nurses have had children, except for one nurse who shared that informtion with me. I'm positive that the male perinatologist who delivered my son has never given birth.

[sheilagh]

I asked because my mother in law has asked me (more than once too) how are you going to deliver a baby and coach a woman if you have never done it yourself.

Your mother in law is just trying to get you to give her a grandchild now, SHE doesn't want to wait. Mine tried the same thing and that was when I just wanted to work L&D, my response when people ask if I have kids," I'm still raising my husband and fixing everything his mother did to him."

People usually just laugh when I say that, nod their heads and we move on to the next topic. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

[gr8rnpjt, RN]

[i'm still raising my husband and fixing everything his mother did to him."

QUOTE]

Good response! LMAO!!!

[elkpark]

This issue also comes up a lot in psych and substance abuse settings (how can those of us who are not recovering from some kind of addiction possibly have anything to offer people who are trying to recover). I have also run into this occasionally in my role as a child psych CS (childless by choice).

The traditional, stock answer is, "You don't have to have had pneumonia to treat pneumonia."

If we were only "allowed" to treat people for conditions/problems that we, ourselves, have experienced, there would be a whole lot of specialists out there, and v. few generalists!! (Many of us (the particularly healthy among us) wouldn't be "allowed" to be in healthcare at all!)

[SmilingBluEyes]

go for your dream....

let no one stand in your way or discourage you.....

you will do fine, like said before.

[CNMtobe2012]

I would definately ask your mother-in-law if a male or female delivered her children.

So many OB/GYN physicians are male, I have a feeling they haven't given birth before.

I though the exact thing when I read the post. Male OB/GYN's do it all the time and no one ever question there abilities......and they sure as hick aren't pushing out any children these days.

[JVanRN]

I though the exact thing when I read the post. Male OB/GYN's do it all the time and no one ever question there abilities......and they sure as hick aren't pushing out any children these days.

Exactly.

[OBRN2004]

I would definately ask your mother-in-law if a male or female delivered her children.

So many OB/GYN physicians are male, I have a feeling they haven't given birth before.

Right on!!! From another G0 L&d nurse

[midwife2b]

I though the exact thing when I read the post. Male OB/GYN's do it all the time and no one ever question there abilities......and they sure as hick aren't pushing out any children these days.

LOVE THIS ANSWER!!!!