Puuuuuuulese!!

Nurses General Nursing

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I work in an office setting so I often see notes come across my desk or get phone calls regarding medications.What are your favorite excuses why a patient needs their narcotics filled early?

Mine:

"I dropped my Vicodin in a mud puddle and they instantly evaporated!"

"I was vacuuming with the hose and accidentally sucked up the bottle, I tried to shake it out and by the time I got the vacuum shut off all the pills were powder!"

"I dropped them in the boat motor..."

How come no one ever loses their antibiotics?!?! :nono:

A few years ago I had just seen my doc one day for a terrible case of flu/cough (x 3wks) and she rx'd a big bottle of cheracol. That night my apartment burned down (completely destroyed along with 3 other units) and I had to call her the next day for a replacement rx. I worried she'd think I drank the whole bottle to get high - but I guess my story was too out there to NOT believe. Fortunately, I didn't have to produce a melted bottle - and the fire was on the local news the next day. :uhoh3:

Oh, how terrible! Were you hurt? Did they ever find the cause of the blaze? I can't imagine losing everything in a fire... did insurance cover your belongings?

Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
These are all pretty funny when you hear them, but I think sometimes we all forget that these people aren't just "drug-seekers". They have an illness. Though their illness may not present with objective s/sx, they are just as sick and are hurting just as bad as those who are physically ailing. Somewhere behind all of this behavior, is a person who has lost control and is turning to the only thing that still gives them a little control over their life.

Not always: some are pushers looking for meds to sell on the street. We had an "epidemic" a few years ago, some pusher sold one of the oral hypoglycemics (blue pill), looked just like Valium on the streets. We got in several people with BGLs less than 10. Very sad.:crying2:

Best excuse....hard to open, dropped them all in the toilet on accident.

I sorry to admit this, but this has happened to me before. When I moved into my husband's house after we got married, I was in such a rush to put everything in a spot. So, I placed my medication in a medicine cabinet above the toilet. Unknownest to me, the cabinet was sloping forward and one time I opened the cabinet a few prescriptions went right into the toilet (yes, I know, terribly stupid - call it blinded by the glow of the recent weddinng and the excitement of starting a new life, whatever, it was STUPID).

However, the caps (except for one) were tightly on. Despite this a little water came through. What happened? NOTHING! A few tablets were a little wet, but perfectly usable! After all, that's clean water in the toilet and I had just scrubbed it. The one in which the cap was slightly ajar, well, most of them got a little wet, but NONE of them magically disintegrated on contact as I had rescued them immediately. You could tell that they were very, VERY slightly water damaged, but the water was clean along with the bowl. I took the medication and there was no difference in strength between the briefly baptized tablets and the ones that escaped accidental immersion.

No doctors offices were called, no medical assistants were regalled with my tales of excited newlywed stupidity... all lived happily ever after.

Oh, after that incident I did wise up and placed the medication in a new place... far away from above the toilet. :)

Specializes in Transplant, homecare, hospice.
I work in an office setting so I often see notes come across my desk or get phone calls regarding medications.What are your favorite excuses why a patient needs their narcotics filled early?

Mine:

"I dropped my Vicodin in a mud puddle and they instantly evaporated!"

"I was vacuuming with the hose and accidentally sucked up the bottle, I tried to shake it out and by the time I got the vacuum shut off all the pills were powder!"

"I dropped them in the boat motor..."

How come no one ever loses their antibiotics?!?! :nono:

OMGosh! That's hilarious! :rolleyes:

Specializes in Operating Room.

:chuckle Well, I didn't say that it never really happens. :chuckle

I sorry to admit this, but this has happened to me before. When I moved into my husband's house after we got married, I was in such a rush to put everything in a spot. So, I placed my medication in a medicine cabinet above the toilet. Unknownest to me, the cabinet was sloping forward and one time I opened the cabinet a few prescriptions went right into the toilet (yes, I know, terribly stupid - call it blinded by the glow of the recent weddinng and the excitement of starting a new life, whatever, it was STUPID).

However, the caps (except for one) were tightly on. Despite this a little water came through. What happened? NOTHING! A few tablets were a little wet, but perfectly usable! After all, that's clean water in the toilet and I had just scrubbed it. The one in which the cap was slightly ajar, well, most of them got a little wet, but NONE of them magically disintegrated on contact as I had rescued them immediately. You could tell that they were very, VERY slightly water damaged, but the water was clean along with the bowl. I took the medication and there was no difference in strength between the briefly baptized tablets and the ones that escaped accidental immersion.

No doctors offices were called, no medical assistants were regalled with my tales of excited newlywed stupidity... all lived happily ever after.

Oh, after that incident I did wise up and placed the medication in a new place... far away from above the toilet. :)

I agree, sounds like you have your excuses lined up to call a lot. Please don't apply at my hospital.

Specializes in Operating Room.
I agree, sounds like you have your excuses lined up to call a lot. Please don't apply at my hospital.

??????????????

I'm a little confused on this. Who shouldn't apply at your hospital? The ones giving the excuses, or the ones hearing them?

Specializes in IMC, ICU, Telemetry.
Oh, how terrible! Were you hurt? Did they ever find the cause of the blaze? I can't imagine losing everything in a fire... did insurance cover your belongings?

How sweet of you to ask. DH, DS & I made it out safely with only our pj's on (it happened at 0200 on a freezing January morning). We lost one of our kitties, the FF rescued the other. A neighbor had left her xmas lights on a very dried out tree (who leaves lights up past New Years?!? :angryfire). Tragically, lost just about everything and no renters insurance. :crying2: I'll never make that mistake again - $10/mo is a small price to pay.

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