PTSD- Am I alone??

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Im a long time reader who decided to finally post. This site is a major support for me!!

I was wondering, are there any nurses out there that struggle with ptsd due to child abuse??? If so, how does that impact your work, and how do you manage your symptoms???? Have you ever told anyone at work?? Any support groups you know of???

I really would appreciate your feedback here!!!

Thanks.

I have PTSD for years and have given up trying to find a therapist.

Generally, I get by trying to live as if I don't have the disorder.

Mostly, I am successful by ignoring it. I feel PTSD has already taken too much from me.

The other day however, I must have been triggered. (And, I am always surprised when it happens!! Every time feels like the first time I have ever been triggered!! I don't know what that's about.) Normally, when I am triggered I want to isolate myself and stay in the house. But, the odd thing about yesterday (after a stressful week of classes and career indecision) was that I had the uncontrollable desire to get in the car and run. (I felt as if my very life were being threatened.) This is so uncharacteristic of me to want to be out in the world during one of these attacks. And, my desire to do it was overwhelming. At the time, I was still in my nightgown but that didn't seem to matter. I managed to talk myself out of the desire to run because I didn't want to be driving a car while in that state of mind. Luckily my husband came home, otherwise I might have gotten in the car and kept driving over the state line...

It is embarrassing to admit but it is also scary too. Has anyone here ever felt similarly with a desire to run (don't remember reading anything about the desire to run before) and what do you do when you are triggered?

Thanks in advance,,

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I have PTSD for years and have given up trying to find a therapist.

Generally, I get by trying to live as if I don't have the disorder.

Mostly, I am successful by ignoring it. I feel PTSD has already taken too much from me.

The other day however, I must have been triggered. ,

I've been going thru a lot w/ my father's illness and passing away recently - and I was doing really well for a while (it ws June 27 that he passed). I noticed this week tho that I am starting to feel that general anxiety/running away feeling. I'm not sure what exactly it is but I rely so heavily on God thru all this, don't know how I could do it without. But, I forget - til the pupae hits the fanny lol...

ps I also remember feeling that running-away feeling INTENSELY as a side effect of certain meds I was on - MUCH worse than what I am feeling now! I actually wanted to run through a window to make it stop! Needless to say I got myself hosp'd for that...

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Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.

Babs: I was on Seroquil for a short time, but gained so much weight. And the heavy sedation didn't sit well either. Put the sedation upon waking and the depressive mood during the day, I didn't like the feeling of not feeling!!! So I stopped. I've decided to stay with Zoloft. No more of anything else. I've increased my exercies and we adopted a new dog! Skippy is a 2 y/o male maltese. Our Sasha a female 6 y/o Westie wasn't so sure of the new addition. But with patience and long walks I feel more and more productive everyday.

I've never had the feeling to run during episodes or relapses. I head right for the bed and cover up......for days. I've noticed that durations are shorter and productivity is going up. Do I have setbacks? Oh Yeah. Any bad news can put me in a tailspin. But I try to methodically think things out and I am expressing more and more to my dh. His feedback is very postive and I'm feeling a sense of caring and underdstanding from him these days. Thank God.

Zoe, I loved that forgiveness site you posted. What a great internet site to visit. It is now in my favorites! Thanks!

Off to see Mark Knoephler in Downtown MPLS tonight! It's a date! Have a great weekend all.

Sharona:nurse:

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I went back today and read all replies to my original post. I have posted on many sites before and have never gotten so many encouraging and supportive response. Thanks everyone! I am so proud to be part of this community of great nurses!

Now back to the PTSD topic. In terms of PTSD, Im not doing so great at all. Just started seeing a new therapist last month and she actually seems ok. However, she charges $200 per session. My insurance does not reimburse. Any ideas of how to come up with an extra $800 per month????? I work full time, am studying for my GREs and a certification and also am applying to grad school now, so I have no time to do OT. Any ideas anyone?

Thanks again,

Strugglingnurse

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Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

My health insurance covers 20 visits per year, after that, I'm on my own. Due to my diagnosis - I am covered under "Timothy's Law" - not sure what that is, except that it covers psyc issues physical in nature, biochemical, like depression, bi polar, etc.... Since I fall within this law, the insurance has to cover me under my medical insurance when my psyc insurance runs out.

It would be worth checking into. You may fall into a law similar to this, and then be able to get your visits covered by your medical insurance.

Good luck

Blessings

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I went back today and read all replies to my original post. I have posted on many sites before and have never gotten so many encouraging and supportive response. Thanks everyone! I am so proud to be part of this community of great nurses!

Now back to the PTSD topic. In terms of PTSD, Im not doing so great at all. Just started seeing a new therapist last month and she actually seems ok. However, she charges $200 per session. My insurance does not reimburse. Any ideas of how to come up with an extra $800 per month????? I work full time, am studying for my GREs and a certification and also am applying to grad school now, so I have no time to do OT. Any ideas anyone?

Thanks again,

Strugglingnurse

Wow - well I am not sure what I used to be charged but THAT seems like way too much money! She better be darn good! ((((((((Struggling nurse ))))) maybe you can supplement this with some good pastoral counseling which did me more good than 20 years of traditional psychotherapy! I'm so sorry you're going thru this!

My health insurance covers 20 visits per year, after that, I'm on my own. Due to my diagnosis - I am covered under "Timothy's Law" - not sure what that is, except that it covers psyc issues physical in nature, biochemical, like depression, bi polar, etc.... Since I fall within this law, the insurance has to cover me under my medical insurance when my psyc insurance runs out.

It would be worth checking into. You may fall into a law similar to this, and then be able to get your visits covered by your medical insurance.

Good luck

Blessings

Wow I never heard of that, "Timothy's Law". Cool

How are you Babs, LTNS! (long time no see!)

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Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

Taking it day by day Zoe, how about you?

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Taking it day by day Zoe, how about you?

Me too, Babs, me too!

I start a new job on Tuesday, gonna be doing 3 night shifts in a LTC facility :) yippee!

Take care - don't forget to breathe, y'all!

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Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

Good for you Zoe, good luck and let us all know how wonderful you new job is!!

{{hugs}}

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Wow - well I am not sure what I used to be charged but THAT seems like way too much money! She better be darn good! ((((((((Struggling nurse ))))) maybe you can supplement this with some good pastoral counseling which did me more good than 20 years of traditional psychotherapy! I'm so sorry you're going thru this!

Wow I never heard of that, "Timothy's Law". Cool

How are you Babs, LTNS! (long time no see!)

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately I have tried pastoral counseling before. It was the worst thing I could have done, since I was female and he was male. He realized that I really dont have anyone and took advantage of me big time. Right now Im seeing this therapist for $200 every other week.

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Thanks for your reply. This provider that Im seeing if out of network so my insurance (HMO) doesnt cover anything. I will look into this law.

My health insurance covers 20 visits per year, after that, I'm on my own. Due to my diagnosis - I am covered under "Timothy's Law" - not sure what that is, except that it covers psyc issues physical in nature, biochemical, like depression, bi polar, etc.... Since I fall within this law, the insurance has to cover me under my medical insurance when my psyc insurance runs out.

It would be worth checking into. You may fall into a law similar to this, and then be able to get your visits covered by your medical insurance.

Good luck

Blessings

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Good for you Zoe, good luck and let us all know how wonderful you new job is!!

{{hugs}}

Thanks Babs! xo

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately I have tried pastoral counseling before. It was the worst thing I could have done, since I was female and he was male. He realized that I really dont have anyone and took advantage of me big time. Right now Im seeing this therapist for $200 every other week.

What an idiot - well if it's any consolation at all there are jerks in every profession - Doctors, Nurses, Pastors, Counselors .. it ticks me off tho cuz this guy purports to represent God - obviously he did not. I'm so sorry this happened to you!

Mine refuses to meet with the women alone, the secretary who also has this training comes along with him and is a mentor of mine, of sorts. This helps prevent any number of problems. She has become a great friend and support of mine!

Take care. Stay in touch w/ us ok?

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