ZZTopRN, let me say, I am honored that a thread is started off with my name. I don't know if I deserve that or how I have earned that. My friend, we all have our crisis moments in our career where we ask ourself "is this what I'm meant to do". I currently work ortho-neuro med-surg, floor nursing. My choice. It can be grueling at times. Often, I'm in charge and seen as a resource. But, I enjoy it. Been a nurse for 20 years. Seen much, done much. Seen alot of death and dying in my career, as well as bright moments. Ortho-neuro med surg has been a welcome of such to me because most folks do well and recover. I too need to see life improvements, despite the setbacks, in my patients. Ortho-neuro gives me that. I joke sometimes, saying "Break a bone, fix it, everybody's happy"...rarely someone dies. The charge one gets from emergencies, codes, death crises are for the young nurse who needs to see it or gain experience. But, I choose in my career to see other things now. My psych experience of 10 years continues to be helpful and comes in handy on the med-surg floor. Depression/anxiety abound. Occasonally, I see a manic Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, an Alcoholic going through withdrawal, or a Borderline who is actively at risk for self harm...but, most often a Depressed patient who may/is suicidal or a patient with Panic and/or anxiety. My colleagues often come to me or I take the assignment. ZZTopRN, you have to do what is in your heart. Maybe, a change in specialty or floor or environment is in order. Maybe, this just a rough time all together and you may need to work on issues of the heart first before anything else. I can only speak from my experience, my truth. Your needs may be different from mine. I've went through my aches in my career and in my personal life...like we all do. What helps is that you don't carry it alone. PM me if need be, if it is difficult to self disclose on the board. I always inform folks to only self disclose with what you are ready to share, even if it's only bits or pieces...this is OK. You have to be comfortable with your information. If not, do not...you're not ready at the moment...and that is OK. Should you go into Psych? If you think it is an easier type of nursing, don't be fooled....it is just different. You will see and hear alot....much is anguish and pain...are you ready for that?...at this moment in your life? Only you can answer that. When it comes to crisis in one's career and heart, honesty is always the best policy. It affects you. It affects your patients. In whatever you decide or need to discuss, I will support you in it. But, it has to be your truth.
I wish you the very best,