Desperately need help-need help with direction

Specialties Psychiatric

Published

Specializes in NICU,Hospice.

Hi Everyone,

I have not been at the site in awhile. I am a RN who is not sure about anything career wise anymore and could use some wholehearted input/experiences. I have been an RN for 4 plus years. I always liked psych. I have a natural "knowledge" and interest, I find myself always reading and intrigued by psych. However, I had suffered through a major depressive episode myself 10 years ago and have been afraid to go there even though in my life since, I have been able to really connect with people,especially depressed or anxious and offer comfort. So,what did I do???I went into the OR out of school, what a mistake!!Not because I wasn't good, I did well, but I felt nothing,no connection EXCEPT on this one day when a lady was crying because she had to get a double mastectomy, I sat and talked with her and got reemed by anesthesia to "get her back there"in the OR. I did not care about the docs because she thanked me AND she stopped crying. Needless to say, I quit the OR. However, I went to the NICU and did Hospice simultaneously. Both areas are OK and I love Hospice when they give you time to actually do your job. But, here I am again wondering about psych because the one thing I know for sure is the best parts of nursing for me is the interpersonal piece. Does this sound like I could be an effective psych nurse and love what I do---because I am not LOVING anything right now, just tolerating it. My best days are when I can talk to parents of my babies or when I can comfort a family in crisis, they are my best days. I guess I have the fear that I will end up depressed if I am constantly around it. I don't want fear to keep me from something I am very passionate about and I am passionate about feeling, emotions, and people. And to be honest, and I feel i can be here, I resent when the technical stuff and duties take away from that part of my nursing, although I know it is the vital piece in med/surg areas.Any advice would be appreciated. I am hoping someone out there sees something in my story that they can shed some light on, because I am not a happy nurse and I feel it is because I am not where I need to be and now I know it. I just don't know in what area I will be the best for my patients. Thanks.

Specializes in behavioral health.

Could you try to 'float' to psych to try it out? I know one float nurse asked to be oriented here. At my unit, we are sometimes desperate for 'brave' float nurses. I went to psych right after graduation because like you, I derive my nursing satisfaction from being there for people in crisis and I am able to relate to them from personal experiences. If you are able to emotionally weather NICU and hospice, I really don't see why you would have trouble with psych. Anyway, the amount of psych skills needed to care for NICU and hospice patients and families are enormous.

good luck =) and sometimes depression is your minds way of showing you the way or the one that is not the way =P

Specializes in NICU,Hospice.

Thank you so much for your time to read the post and for your ideas, very appreciated. I will definitely look into doing a float position.

Specializes in Psych, ER, Resp/Med, LTC, Education.

I think you sound like someone who would be a great psych nurse. Sometimes being close to mental illness in your own life--be it yourself or a loved one--can put you at another level........you will most likely be less judgemental ass you know that mentall illness can happen to anyone--it doesn't descriminate--poor or rich, beautiful or unattractive, successful in a big fancy career or the lowest payed menial job and all in between...any age, any race, any religion, any gender or sexual orientation--ANYONE. You have an understanding of what it feels like and this gives you a whole different level of campassion. I will share that for a time I was suffering from anxiety and mild depression as a result of a divorce....I was on meds for this for maybe a year and now am better and don't need meds as it was very situational. I was lucky--do I think this experience makes me a better psych nurse......maybe. I think so. Many people who were once addicted to drugs and/or ETOH work now in CD as counselors......You have an interest and sounds like maybe a passion that is dying to get out.....seems like the human connection is what you missed in the OR and you get all human connection in psych. You felt good about yourself and in your ability to help this woman who was greiving the loss of her breasts--common. As so many woman feel that this is what makes them feel like a woman. You knew just what to say and it felt good--that should tell you something--I say go for it! I think you would be a gift to these patients. I love it and think you would too. Good luck with your decision.

Specializes in NICU,Hospice.

Thank you so much for your post. It helps so much sometimes to get feedback. It was hard for me to post this because I dislike talking about me to that degree but I really am at a crossroad and want to quit wasting my lifetime.I feel if others in the profession see this maybe they could say "yeah sounds like someone who could do this" or not. Or maybe my story is similar to theirs. Again thank you, and I am actively pursuing my job search as we speak. I will let you know how it goes!

Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.

I worked psych for years. Almost everyone I worked with had special empathy for the patients because either they or someone they loved had a psych problem. That makes it easier for you to walk in the patients' shoes! It's a good thing!!

Specializes in critical care; community health; psych.

A psych hospital is not unlike a medical hospital. There are many specialties and units designed to serve their respective clients. There are mood disorders, eating disorders, psychotic disorders, mixed disorders, severe mental retardation, dementia, drug and alcohol, and the list goes on.

If you are going to shadow or float for a look-see, I suggest you think about which specialty within psych you might be most interested.

Specializes in Clinical Nurse Specialist-ICU, Educator.

I commend your openness and honesty on this forum. I encourage you to keep pursuing this avenue and not be afraid it will bring you down. Depression is not like an infectious disease. From everything you've written, it seems like this gift of connecting to people on a deep, meaningful level will feed your soul, not bring you down. Many people struggle to identify what fuels their passion--you already know. Now you just need to listen to your gut, not your head that is telling you "what if" stories. The world needs you to give your true gift and passion to others. I can only think of what lucky future psych patients to have a nurse like you who really cares and connects with them.

Best of luck in your search!

Specializes in NICU,Hospice.

CoachBarbara thank you so much. My struggle has been knowing that passion and trying everything else BUT that. I have to wonder why people do that to themselves because I know I am not alone. Even in nursing school I was reccommended for clinical excellence for my psych rotation, why did I not listen?, I guess you can't ruminate over the past.You are so right about the what if stories, that is me, totally!

Specializes in Clinical Nurse Specialist-ICU, Educator.

There's a great book out that helps others get out of their heads. It's called Taming Your Gremlins (can't remember author). You might enjoy it given your interest in this area. Lots of exercises to help the reader become aware of what's holding them back. Everyone has gremlins--it's a matter of becoming aware of them and choosing to not let them control your life. It sounds like you are on the right path--:nuke:

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