Hey everyone, I’m posting because I’m in need of direction. I’ve been a nurse for almost 2.5 years now. In nursing school, I never enjoyed clinical and truth be told I dreaded it. I was only a good test taker. I graduated from Barry University in Miami from the accelerated program. And maintained staying on honor roll all throughout.
I had difficulty finding a job in the hospital when I moved back to NJ so I started out in a acute care rehab that was basically stroke rehabilitation. Hateddded it! I was doing day shift and night shift trying to figure out what worked for me. I quit that job after less than a year and now I am working in an observation/ER unit on day shift.
I rarely take breaks (which I know 99% of nurses relate too) my stress level is always 10/10, (and it doesn’t help I’ve had severe anxiety since I was in elementary school). I’m feeling like I’m going to pop. I dread going into work, knowingly everyday I walk in and don’t get to step out to breathe for 12+ hours. Some days are good but that’s a rarity. Is it normal to love/hate this job? Is nursing meant for people with anxiety as it is? I carry my days home with me and don’t sleep. I can’t sleep before a shift or even after.
I don’t want to give up nursing but I do think I want to give up the bedside. Does anyone have any recommendations? Or should I stick it out and try more units? I love learning and I chose nursing because I knew it would make grow in unfathomable ways. But I’m scared I’ll feel drained forever and I don’t want to live my life that way. I know everyone here agrees that life is too short and valuable.