Elan84

Hi, I know its been years since you post this. But I am in a similar situation and I would like to know what was your outcome or if you found any solution?

Yes, I have been thinking about all this for a while. Yes I made some big errors gladly all my patients are alive and didn't get worse than a write up. I found a new job. Will be starting soon. I will try it out one more time with a fresh start, walking slowly and trying my best to stay away from the same mistakes. I will be positive and I'll be more humble to criticism as well. I will let you know how it goes for this second year. Thank you all for the kind responses.

í ½í± Thank you.

Of course there are some great advices from very professional nurses, some of my replys aren't making sense because for some reason my account is not directing it to the person I am trying to refer to, is this because I'm using my iphone ?. like the person who expressed oh boy she is getting new job, poor patients. I don't believe that is appropriate for a forum of professionals. I do appreciate everyone's comments and in multiple occations I have said yes I assume I made mistakes and I know how big they can be and I am willing to correct it. But unfortunatelly I can not wait there because I am in a black list and If I do they are going me.

I get along well with all my coworkers, not sure why your assumptions, my patients love me and I have made long term friends in the medical field. May be I had a bad month, and I made important mistakes. But I see more clear now and my head is up. I appreciate your tough love. But still don't get why you get so angry about this? I was just looking for guidance. I am sure I am not the first new grad who has made a mistake during the first year of practice. Why not to guide instead of burn the new grads? this is emotionally bullying, I feel pain every time people like you call me incompetent, I guess you feel happy under grading people? why still don't get why? where is all the good people in this field? we are called to be nurses and care for others why not to take care of our own?. If it makes you feel better, yes I feel bad for what I did, but I ask GOD for forgiveness if in any means my mistakes could of harm a patient, and yes I am moving on to continue being a Nurse.

:***: What! I say nothing about becoming an ADON, but why not, may be in 5 years

So you are telling I should quit being a Nurse? Just because in my first year I made some mistakes? is ok, I have met people like you, and I appreciate your time to comment, but I am not getting nothing productive from your post.

My interview went really well, hope my current manager won't trash my reputation, what you guys think?

Thank you. I will work on that for sure.

Wow Is Good to wake up and see finally a positive Nurse in this forum, Good Soul Nurses do exist, and I can tell you are one of those, thank you for your positive words.

I don't know where the bullying is coming from, I have not said any bullying anywhere in this article?

is not the criticism is the Approach used, you for example approached it very well, in this post no bullying was used, I agree with you In the fact that charge nurse is not the issue, what I was trying to explain is that the few times I went to my charge nurse for help, she ignored me and sat on her desk to play with her phone. But anyways I know and understand my fails and mistakes are mine and I own them.

Thank you all who replyed, I take many of your comments very seriously. I will not judge, focus, keep my mouth close and my head up and resign my current job as soon as possible. This is just my first year, before I know it I'll be on that 5th year and be at many of you level and hope to make it alive . I thank all of you for the positive vive and also for the upfront responses it all helps. I have an interview tomorrow, I hope GOD is on my side, I hope to find a hospital were I can grow, were I can give and I can love and help my patients because at the end this is why we are Nurses. This new nurse journey is long and though, may be mistakes will occur the importance is to learn from it and be patient and tolerant with ourselves.

I don't see why you anger towards me, yes I made a mistake I am not saying I didn't at all I did and I feel bad about it. But I also come accross with many people with your same attitude, always judgemental, angry and with a arrogant personality, also I want some tips on how to not let that affect me ?, I am a very sweet,positive, healthy and friendly person, not use to people constantly attacking you. Why it feels like I see this picture in many nurses? is this the way I'm going to become in few years?

what makes you think I'm not aware of the charge nurse role? just as a curiosity, unless play with their phones is in their job descriptions I don't think I'm wrong.

Yes I will :-(... slowing down can be challenging too lol

I am not feeling like am expert at all but I handdle it well, still a new nurse in some areas and some days when you get 4 difficult cases at the same time gets really challenging, mostly because we really have no techs and our charge nurses really are useless, all they do is report us and play with their phones. But I really love nursing and I love my profession, I'm trying not to give up, regardless of the mean nurses comments or write ups or anything. But I can see now why many new nurses do give up quickly.

Yes the Morphine event was scary though was not a write up, hospital even compensated me for this time, I guess this was honest of my side to return the morphine and the hospital took it well, this occurred on my first week at night going on my own. ofcourse many this has occur to me being a new grad in a busy ER in season has been seriouslly challenging.

Yes I accept me being argumentative and open my mouth got me in trouble, but I never said i did not accept my faults, I just wanted to understand why and how this happened and I wanted some input from management more than crushing me the way they did.

I find myself today some how discourage and with a low spirit, I would like to know the opinion and hear experiences from either new grads or more experience nurses about my story. I was hired exactly one year ago as a New Grad at the ER in a local hospital. We all new grads were hired with a $5000 contract for 3 years. This contract involved educational training for New Grad ER nurses, This will include a preceptors and a Regional ER course. Well at the time and as a New grad looking for a new experience and any job that came across the ER sounded great, and 3 years contract really did not felt like much. Well my journey started, I was trying to get use to be called the orientee, because this was the way all our coworkers were referring to us. Well one day after a couple of week of orientations and lots of CE courses online required by the hospital, our manager said to us the ER course will start next week, but we have to make an addendum to your contract, is not going to be $5000 anymore now is $7500, I was forced to sign it at that point. We all sign it . The ER regional course was 4 or 5 weeks and it was useless, poor teachers nothing ER related really broad and vague. It was like assisting to one of those fast track NCLEX courses, basic stuff but nothing that I didn't knew already from nursing school. I really felt robbed, but again I needed a job and I was still excited about ER. We were suppose to have a ONE preceptor to follow through what you were learning, not many and who ever was willing to take you that day. This is what happened, I had multiple preceptors, some good, some hate to have an orientee and some just care less about teaching you. I completed my 6 month review with clean record :-) I even call dad , I am good I passed my probation period clean with clean record. that was a huge relieve, up to that point all my managers and directors were being some how nice to me. Well things change, once you are on your own with no preceptor, I was oriented during day shift for 3 months and now I was sent to nights. That was a major change for me, keeping in mind I had never ever work a night shift in my life, but that was my agreement and I was willing to fulfill it. I was hired in March and I managed to keep up my new grad record clean, until season started, most of the techs were either fired or left, I see many nurses leave but I really didn't get involved, I was there to earn my living not to gossip around. December 31th I was called for the first time to my managers office, I had gave another patient papers mixed with the packet the doctor handled me to discharge this patient, and I mislabeled a blood tube. I was being written up for the first time, my manager didn't look or acted as nice as before, she was rough, mean and really not understanding. I assumed my fault, but I accept my personality is sometimes talkative and I said I am not sure I gave those papers to the patient, because this is the case many times where the charge nurses give discharges or doctors do and then you have to sign on them, and ER is really busy things like this are hard to remember. But I guess I should just assume my fault and leave that office. Well I managed to just say I am sorry I will pay more attention to detail, this was what they counsel me about, attention to detail. Well after that I felt they were watching me, I was so sad and anxious not to make any mistakes that I feel the more careful I was the more clumsy I was becoming. I was called one more time to the office, A Retired Nurse who came to my ER almost at change of shift placed a complaint that she was never place in the monitor, and also I had place a urine sample in the same bag with the tubes, this according to the lab contaminates specimen and she made me withdraw the labs again. I gained a second write up. I appeal the monitor case because it was charted, but manager said patient was a reliable source and eve though I had patient for less than 30 minutes and even if I gave bedside report and it was documented in my chart, it wasn't valid and I had to keep the write up. I did not appeal this write up not until I received the 3rd write up. The third write up happened last week march, we are talking of 3 write ups in a matter of 3 months. The last write up that caused me a suspension was about my biggest fault, I entered the medication list of one of my patients into another patients chart. They found out when the patient went to the floor and the nurse wrote me up, I have no excuse the ER has been to explosion level and my anxiety because I knew this was going to happened, my charge nurses being of no help, no techs in the ER , many normal factors of the ER.. no Excuse I am making stupid mistakes. I was told by my managers who were very aggressive in front of the ER director in this write up appeal meeting, We are seeing a pattern here you are not having attention to detail and also you don't accept your blames. They also told me that one more error and I will be fired. What should I do? Is this a good time to resign and take a deep breath before making more mistakes? Is my manager going to give bad references about me once I start looking for a job? I really feel stupid for making all this rookie mistakes :-(, mostly because my manager has told me I don't belong in the hospital world. I am scared of resigning, but I am more afraid of being fired, how to handle this and leave with my head up ?

yes, is also a good advise I have to tough up too, though my mistakes have not been threatening to the patients, when I get stress, depress and metally bullied by coworkers it make me performe bad, I'm not motivated and happy to go tonwork and is hard to focuse

Thank you for your wise advise, yesterday I was written up one more time , I have decided to just resign and apply for other jobs. I am a good person and capable of doing my job. but my disappointment and anxiety of being of being written for any movement I make is making me perform poorly and ending in careless mistakes.

Sadly your post is funny, but I believe and hope non of us nurses would plan on go to work and kill people, circumstances makes us error. But as good nurses we should be ready to reverse and fix this mistakes so we don't kill anybody. Thank God for the sneakers

I wrote this blog really quick thinking it would be easier to understand, but I guess is not clear and it won't be clear because people read and understands what ever they want to judge, nurses and their egos again. but again I thank you all for your post. I guess out of all I get it, I should go to text and grammar school and forget about the Cardiac monitor. I just really hope people understand me now lol.

I am very worried :-(