After waiting for over 2 years my license was reinstated on Wednesday! Completely reinstated - no probation - no restrictions - no OIG list problems. It's done! I know there would be no way I could have done this without the work I put into my recovery and getting honest about that fact that *I* am the problem and have no control over pretty much anything.
It gets better - someone told me to start applying for jobs. Within 2 freaking hours of applying I got an interview for the next day! It was happens to be for an outpatient addictions nurse! When I interviewed I realized they never hired a nurse in recovery. I had to get honest again. But in front of 3 nurses that are not in recovery (but at least work with people like me lol). Man I tell ya, that whole getting honest thing changed the mood real fast. I could tell they got nervous asking me questions about my drug use and my recovery . So I told them everything. And the execute director loved it! Said it was help the team and the patients to have a professional in recovery. Ended up being a two hour interview, references given, and I'm going to shadow the staff all day Monday. It will mark the first time I pull out my scrubs.
And what's something I'd never thought I get in my wildest dreams on top off all of this. NO WEEKENDS/HOLIDAYS!!!!!!
I've never cried when my father died. But I keep getting choked up thinking about how this finally happened! The people in my network, my nursing friends, and my friends who are not addicts freaked out like THEY got their nursing license! I didn't know when I started the process if this day would ever come, but it did. And now I get to help other addicts.
If you are waiting, it will happen. It's not going to end when you want it to. It will end when it's met too. Everything I've gone through clean someone else has, or worse. A friend of mine did not get to see his kids for TEN (10) years. Big biker dude that looks like he would stab you but is the nicest guy. He got to call them after 9 years but still didn't like him. He stayed clean all that time. And then, after 10 years, he got to visit them grown up. And now, after another year, they want to live with him. And he stayed clean during the whole freaking time. I have no idea if I could do that, but if he can do it and still work the program of NA I don't have an excuse. So this huge biker gang guy (yes he was actually in one and got out) who changed his thinking and his life, is hugging me and *crying* because he was so happy I kept working the program too! Thats the type of joy I'm around by being in recovery. It didn't happen until I did the whole thing and went in 100%. Not just show up to a meeting because I was told.
And I know, I know. I will hear the same stories every single day of my life. People say they are not an alcoholic or an addict, that the process isn't fair, that they only did it once, and complain - complain for years about how terrible it is that they have to deal with this and live in the problem. GREAT - you can complain and we will listen. Let me know how it works out for you. If you get what you want out of life and if people want to be around you. I know I don't want to be miserable and complain.
And you don't have to either. You could find another way. When the pain gets bad enough we try something different.
Have a great weekend!