I've been on and off this thread the last few months getting hope from the posts. I became sober from alcohol two years before becoming a nurse. I moved from my home state to another state and began my career, started a family...life was fantastic. Slowly, I let my priorities and program take a backseat. I was busy with work and kids. We moved again and I was excited to get back into AA. At this time I was over 6 years sober. I didn't find the time to get to a meeting and when I was faced with that first drink this past Year, I took it. I started off again where I had left off and that terrified me. I had more to lose than ever. I went to work after drinking during the day and felt I was sober...but was pulled aside, did a breathalyzer which came back negative...but admitted to my manager that I had relapsed. I waited two weeks for my employer to make a decision. They finally did and allowed me to resign. I signed up for the assistance program and was not put in the disciplinary plan. I was scared of not going a job, I was the breadwinner and provider of insurance for my family. I started AA, got a great sponsor and started filling out applications. I had 5 interviews and five job offers in one week. I was amazed. I was in acute care, now I work in psych. I am so grateful for my job. My random UAS are 3x a month and cost $5 a ua, and $105 total for the processing of the UAS a month. I'm on the program for three years. It is a Godsend...I know I could have had much worse consequences and see the program as a safety net. In addition, my previous employer said they wanted me back in 9 months!! I feel very fortunate. On the negative side, my fiancÃ© started drinking heavily and started home brewing in our house. How is that for supportive. I was mad at first, but realize he is probably alcoholic as well. Wow, never thought I'd end up with another alcoholic. I keep healthy boundaries, but know in my heart our relationship is over. Just trying to do things one day at a time and not stress too much about the future. My coworkers from my previous job overwhelmed me with support. When I was so ashamed at what had happened, they blew up my phone with love and support. I had only known them for 6 months. I know AA isn't for everyone, but I was hopeless when I first got sober and in a much worse place and AA changed my life 360 degrees. I know working the program will give me the life I dream of again. There is hope. Just keep doing the next right thing.