Hope

[Vermilion]

Hi all,

I've been on and off this thread the last few months getting hope from the posts. I became sober from alcohol two years before becoming a nurse. I moved from my home state to another state and began my career, started a family...life was fantastic. Slowly, I let my priorities and program take a backseat. I was busy with work and kids. We moved again and I was excited to get back into AA. At this time I was over 6 years sober. I didn't find the time to get to a meeting and when I was faced with that first drink this past Year, I took it. I started off again where I had left off and that terrified me. I had more to lose than ever. I went to work after drinking during the day and felt I was sober...but was pulled aside, did a breathalyzer which came back negative...but admitted to my manager that I had relapsed. I waited two weeks for my employer to make a decision. They finally did and allowed me to resign. I signed up for the assistance program and was not put in the disciplinary plan. I was scared of not going a job, I was the breadwinner and provider of insurance for my family. I started AA, got a great sponsor and started filling out applications. I had 5 interviews and five job offers in one week. I was amazed. I was in acute care, now I work in psych. I am so grateful for my job. My random UAS are 3x a month and cost $5 a ua, and $105 total for the processing of the UAS a month. I'm on the program for three years. It is a Godsend...I know I could have had much worse consequences and see the program as a safety net. In addition, my previous employer said they wanted me back in 9 months!! I feel very fortunate. On the negative side, my fiancé started drinking heavily and started home brewing in our house. How is that for supportive. I was mad at first, but realize he is probably alcoholic as well. Wow, never thought I'd end up with another alcoholic. I keep healthy boundaries, but know in my heart our relationship is over. Just trying to do things one day at a time and not stress too much about the future. My coworkers from my previous job overwhelmed me with support. When I was so ashamed at what had happened, they blew up my phone with love and support. I had only known them for 6 months. I know AA isn't for everyone, but I was hopeless when I first got sober and in a much worse place and AA changed my life 360 degrees. I know working the program will give me the life I dream of again. There is hope. Just keep doing the next right thing.

[Oogie]

We live in a dynamic world, if you don't change you get left behind. With that in mind we have choices to make, not all will be best for us. As a caregiver (RN) we tend to attrack those whom need help. Sounds like you are well aware of boundries and what you need to keep on tract. Only you can hoe the row! Since I've completed my program I see the peep's around me who choose to indulge in alcohol and pot. I choose my own path, they are NOT my world, just the world that surounds me. I wish for you strength, hope, and Peace of heart.