The funniest thing ever said to me by a confused patient was by my grandmother. I had been living overseas for several years and came home for a vacation. My grandma was in a local nursing home so I would go daily to see her as she was failing and I knew that I would probably not see her again. She tolerated my (short) daily visits for 4 days, but was getting visibly irritated by my visits. Finally, on the 5th day when I showed up she looked me in the eye and said, "Don't you have any friends?" It's been 12 years since then and I'm still laughing about it.